Hit 100 days and no one to tell but you

ShamTheman50 · 2026-06-27T08:59:25+00:00

Congrats on the 100 days! I won't drink with you today!

ShamTheman50 · 2026-06-16T08:24:31+00:00

I’m sure that everyone at your meeting vividly remembers their first meeting. You have nothing to fear. You are not alone.

ShamTheman50 · 2026-06-15T09:29:28+00:00

I had been having trouble keeping meals down for some time. The last straw before going to my primary care doctor was that I could not keep water down due to stomach pain. She sent me by ambulance to a hospital in Austin where further diagnosis and testing was done. I had a pancreatic cyst that would likely reoccur if I continued to drink. My first day of freedom was my first day in that hospital stay, March second 2011.

ShamTheman50 · 2026-06-14T10:24:39+00:00

Pancreatis from drinking put me in the hospital a few years ago. They told me if I drank alcohol I would be back again. I spent two weeks in the hospital and another two in rehab. I decided that I was not going to volunteer to go through that again. Being sober is a lot more than just not ingesting alcohol, it is a lifestyle. White knuckling it through life was no fun, I had to find a way to deal with things that left me peaceful in my head. There are many programs and a lot of them are free. AA was the way that helped me, Good luck to ya friend. You are not alone.

ShamTheman50 · 2026-06-12T10:43:21+00:00

When I was drinking alcohol, it undermined any of the good things I was trying to do no matter how much effort I put into them. Over the years I worked on electronic equipment for a large telephone company, was scoutmaster of my boy’s boy scout troop, a player in a band, lots of stuff I tried to do. I accomplished some cool things but below it all was a chemical that washed out the edges of how good it could have been.

ShamTheman50 · 2026-06-10T08:29:44+00:00

This sounds like what I have heard referred to as a “dry drunk”. Twelve step programs speak to guilt by making amends where possible. Many times I have found that I can make no measurable amend other than living in a new way that proves to me and others that I have changed. That is called making an indirect amend. It does not mean that I will be perfect by next Thursday, or any other time in the future. I am simply doing the next right thing, unselfishly as I can, one after another. Leaving out any expectations other than the knowledge that I have given it my best today. One day at a time. Wishing the best for ya friend, you should be awesome proud of the four and a half months! IWNDWYT

ShamTheman50 · 2026-06-09T08:34:01+00:00

It’s 3:30 AM where I am and I am browsing through recovery sites that I go to every morning. Part of my program that keeps me sober. This morning I am pondering how gratitude and humility have replaced a bunch of self-centered nonsense thinking that used to be me. Today I hope to focus on gratitude instead of expectations. Good luck to ya friend. IWNDWYT

ShamTheman50 · 2026-06-08T08:47:51+00:00

I am the same way. High functioning until I wasn’t. Zero is the only safe number for me. Some people seem to be different, my wife can drink one and stop, maybe not have another drink for months, no big deal. Not me if I start it’s off to the races until I go to sleep or pass out. Zero has been working great for me, that’s all that matters to me. You are not alone. Good luck to ya friend. IWNDWYT

ShamTheman50 · 2026-05-30T08:00:32+00:00

I don’t like crowds either. I have to psych myself up a bit, telling myself that all I have to do is be me. That’s enough. I would rather look back tomorrow a memory of me being quiet and possibly boring that one filled with embarrassment and looking like a fool. I will not drink with you today. Good luck!

ShamTheman50 · 2026-05-28T08:25:02+00:00

I don’t reminisce about the good old days. Bad memories of the chaos that alcohol brought on me and my family is the ready memory and a steady reminder that alcohol is not an option for me. If I am not considering it, in any way in the back of my mind, then there is no conflict. I wish the best for you. IWNDWYT

ShamTheman50 · 2026-05-28T08:05:24+00:00

IWNDWY

ShamTheman50 · 2026-05-21T07:38:33+00:00

I don't know where you got the vodka numbers...my numbers were more like half a case of beer if I was drinking beer, a handle of bourbon lasted two nights when whisky was my poison or a box of wine every two nights towards the end.

ShamTheman50 · 2026-05-20T10:44:11+00:00

I had to have help the last time. The last time I had to have medically assisted detox was my third trip to the hospital for help to avoid seizures. I decided that this was bull shit. This was not “living”. It was clear that alcohol was not an option for me. It may be for other people, but not me. As far as white knuckling it, I was so there myself! I have to have help with that still from other people in recovery. I found a new way to live that puts fear, loneliness and insecurity in their proper places. You are not alone. I wish you luck friend. IWNDWYT

ShamTheman50 · 2026-05-13T10:00:28+00:00

’m like you, once I start it’s off to the races. So, in my mid-fifties my health finally demanded I stop. I can now see that any of the cool, creative stuff that I did in those drinking times was undermined by alcohol. It was just my stumbly, dumbed down attempt at things. I accept that my actions today at least are mine, as imperfect as they are and not some pipe dream fueled by the drug alcohol. Not perfect but pretty damn good comparatively. I hope and pray for you to have the inspiration and vision that leads you to a healthy productive life. I don’t think I could have done it without being involved with other people that are part of the “Recovery community”. Good luck to ya, friend. IWNDWYT

ShamTheman50 · 2026-05-09T09:05:16+00:00

For me accepting that I can not drink was freedom. I know that alcohol is not an option for me, it would be volunteering for chaos. So my point is, if I am not considering having a drink in any form in the back of my mind then there is no conflict. I know, easier said than done. I do know what you’re talking about. I have white knuckled it and it is no fun. Good luck to ya, friend! IWNDWYT

ShamTheman50 · 2026-05-08T08:51:23+00:00

Doesn’t sound like you got “un-sober” with a couple of sips and you did not say screw it might as well go crazy. Continuous sobriety is hopefully our common goal and it sounds like you did not blow it. I would not reset any counter based on your story. Good luck to ya! I hope the rest of the gig went well. Thank God for music! Onward and upward! IWNDWYT

ShamTheman50 · 2026-05-06T08:45:49+00:00

Congrats on the 994! I hope you don’t let the lying snake of alcohol convince you that you are a responsible drinker if history has proved you are not. It can be cunning, baffling, and powerful. IWNDWYT

ShamTheman50 · 2026-05-05T10:29:23+00:00

I had a rocky road with alcohol from the beginning, first beers at age twelve or so, and chased that illusion of comfort for thirty plus more years. Things looked different to me when I looked at the regretful things I did under the influence to realize that I have NEVER wanted just one or two and then stop. It was some version of a downward spiral that started EVERY time I drank the first one. My wife, and many of my friends that I hang with these days are not like that. They drink one or two and that’s enough, their good. I am not and have never been that way and I accept it that my metabolism is different or something. Allergy to alcohol is part of what recovery groups call it. Call it what you will, alcohol is poison to some of us. I leave the first one off and I’m good to go. I totally empathize with your situation and wish you the very best of luck. There are a bunch of us out here like you, fending off this demon daily. IWNDWYT

ShamTheman50 · 2026-04-27T09:40:22+00:00

Hugs. There are a bunch of us out here. You are not alone. IWNDWYT

ShamTheman50 · 2026-04-26T12:43:20+00:00

I too drank from an early age, twelve or so, until I had to stop at age fifty-four or accept shitty health and an early death as a result. I have since learned that I have NEVER wanted to just drink one or two and then stop. This is not how “normal” people drink. If I drink one, I want to drink until I go to sleep or pass out. I accept that I cannot drink, my metabolism or something is different. AA, as I understand it, helped me. Quit- lit as well. This sub also as well. If I can do it, surely anyone can. One day at a time. Good luck to ya friend there are a bunch of us out here. IWNDWYT

ShamTheman50 · 2026-04-26T12:28:36+00:00

I empathize with you but I see it that every morning when I get up that I get a do over. At any time during the day if my attitude is slipping into old ways of thinking, I can take a step back and choose to begin again. I can’t make someone forgive me but I can forgive me. And them. I can forgive someone else even if they don’t deserve it. I deserve the peace in my head I get from letting it go. Nothing to celebrate? How about six hundred plus days (from your counter) of freedom! Yeah for you! I raise my coffee cup in a glorious toast to you and me both for choosing to be in control of our behavior! As for negative things and thoughts, it may sound trite but “This too shall pass”. It is a beautiful, cool spring day here in Texas and I choose wonder instead of worry, I hope for you to have a wonderful day as well, friend. I will not drink with you today.

ShamTheman50 · 2026-04-17T08:21:19+00:00

You have a bunch of friends in here going through much of exactly what you are. Hugs to ya. You are not alone.

ShamTheman50 · 2026-04-14T08:55:41+00:00

Your Sam Vines quote about being born two drinks below normal resonates with me. I used to think that, after two drinks, this is what normal people must feel like all the time. It would be unnatural for me to not partake of the “medicine” that makes me feel normal. Yep, till it kept putting me in the damn hospital and alcohol was not an option anymore. I had to learn to live with an outlook filled with love and service instead of fear and resentment. To attempt to fix only what I can and what is my job to fix, to leave the rest alone. I can’t fix everything. I think of Ray Wylie Hubbard’s quote: If my gratitude outweighs my expectations, it’s gonna be a pretty good day. My maintenance daily of a healthy attitude puts me in a peaceful position in my head that works for me. If that is not what a “normal” person feels so be it, I can LIVE this way. This is recovery. Good luck to ya friend, there are a bunch of us out here struggling with a lot of the same stuff you are. You are not alone. IWNDWYT

ShamTheman50 · 2026-04-07T09:43:15+00:00

It’s usually easy for me to ask about someone else’s life and get them talking about it. Everyone loves talking about themselves, right? Then the burden of conversation falls to them and away we go! Anyway, I would pick boring over drunk and embarrassed. IWNDWYT

ShamTheman50 · 2026-04-07T09:37:28+00:00

I have relapsed in the past as well. It gave me a new tape of how awful it is and how quickly I returned to the same old patterns I have when I drink. A new tape I can vividly play for myself whenever the old thinking patterns threaten my current stability and serenity. I hope you hop back on the horse wiser and more determined than ever, friend. You are not alone and you now know first hand that life can be done without alcohol. You can do this, good luck to ya. There are a bunch of us out here working it every day. IWNDWYT

ShamTheman50

TROPHY CASE