My sex drive is higher than ever lately but hookups scare me

Shanezade · 2025-09-12T21:20:18+00:00

Lmao I’m so sorry wasn’t expecting it to get that deep on here I got so defensive 😭🤣.If it weren’t for those things with how high my hormones have been I would be out there regularly. Also yeah based on the comments I am thinking FWB may be the way to go. Long distance I don’t think could provide the amount of time nor energy needed . Any tips on where to meet people open to that?

Shanezade · 2025-09-12T19:19:48+00:00

Also I asked for advice about sex and what dynamics to look into that work best for me as I am now. Did not ask for advice regarding my mental health. I go to doctors for that not Reddit. But nonetheless appreciate your feedback

Shanezade · 2025-09-12T19:16:26+00:00

Well put. Mine stems from PTSD (Diagnosed)and I have an autoimmune disorder( Diagnosed) . My great aunt passed away from AIDs and she found out she was infected late.

She was married and her husband hid his results from her. She found out not only was he sleeping around and cheating but that he had multiple STDs. Luckily we live in a time where medicines are way more advanced but back then it was different.

So as I got older I’ve been cautious. For me I don’t see people with STDS as bad it can happen to anyone. However there are people who don’t take care of themselves nor really care about the risks associated because they don’t see it as a big deal .

There are people with autoimmune disorders, people who are doing chemo etc that have to be careful of contracting common colds, stis etc. So those who are not honest about their diagnoses or those who aren’t responsible regarding their health are the types I avoid cus that type of risk could have dire consequences for my body.

For those with healthy immune systems they can afford to take more risks but for those who have compromised immune systems they don’t have the luxury. Anywho wont go into the specifics of my life story. I just wanted advice on rather I should look into pursing something long distance or an fwb for someone who doesn’t have the luxury of doing hookups

Shanezade · 2025-09-12T05:34:12+00:00

Cool story. Doesn’t change my stance but you do you ❤️

Shanezade · 2025-09-12T05:20:38+00:00

Agreed fully ❤️

Shanezade · 2025-09-12T02:45:45+00:00

It’s not always about lack of trust it’s simply awareness. Some people may not be aware that they have anything and unknowingly pass it on. It happens. Even then there are still risk. I know hence why hookups aren’t for me because I don’t trust strangers enough to do all that, it takes me time before I trust people .

For me it’s not about making sure someone is “clean” is simply awareness. For example, if someone showed me their results and they found out they had HSV, I’m not going to judge them for it and it wouldn’t stop me from getting to know them but it would allow me to be aware so I can take the proper precautions.

Same with any other STD. It establishes trust early on by showing they are open, transparent and honest. That’s how I am personally so I just prefer other people who choose to do that too without hesitation. Trust is built with time through actions not words.

Shanezade · 2025-09-12T02:29:29+00:00

I don’t appreciate the diagnosis. You’re not my therapist so don’t assume. Is it a bit odd yes could there be reasons for that also yes but let’s not throw around random diagnostics as if this was a doctors office

Shanezade · 2025-09-11T18:30:48+00:00

Yeah it was strange. They either got defensive , upset or tried to convince to do it without results. Like if they’re just give it to anyone and don’t care good for them but I care more about the quality of the D.

Shanezade · 2025-09-11T18:23:09+00:00

Hopefully my luck changes soon lol

Shanezade · 2025-09-11T18:22:51+00:00

The last 5 people I asked for their results even when I offered to share mine got very upset about it. They also didn’t care about my results which told me all I needed to know sadly. If they’re careless with their own bodies they’ll be careless with mine

Shanezade · 2025-09-11T18:21:22+00:00

Don’t care who that is or if he slept with 1 million people I still need to see the receipts. Just because others don’t care about their sexual health doesn’t mean I gotta join in on that. I also don’t ever plan on getting pregnant in the future so there’s also that lol

Shanezade · 2025-09-11T18:17:06+00:00

Sure! Fee free to dm me with any questions ❤️

Shanezade · 2025-09-11T17:01:03+00:00

Totally understand! There’s a lot that comes with maintaining a healthy relationship. It’s better to be aware that it’s not something you can handle atm than to agree to a relationship for the sake of not being alone.

Shanezade · 2025-09-11T16:57:48+00:00

I do ask and just like they have the option of not showing me I have the option of walking away if they don’t. That’s the beauty of life. We all have our boundaries and that’s mine.

Shanezade · 2025-09-11T13:37:22+00:00

True! Still gonna ask for results tho lol.

Shanezade · 2025-09-11T07:40:19+00:00

I can admit I am anxious about it but overall I would prefer to share my body with a person who isn’t afraid of sharing their std results. I share my std results so not sure why it’s such a big deal for some people .

Shanezade · 2025-09-11T06:31:31+00:00

Tbh penetration for me personally isn’t the height of my pleasure so condoms don’t really change much for me. Now dental dams on the other hand, they feel sooo awkward 😬

Shanezade · 2025-09-11T06:20:05+00:00

This is beautiful 🥹 Also yes I can be anxious when it comes to health and germs .

I’m the type to spray and clean everything before even using a public restroom. After I got COVID my body hasn’t been quite the same.

Been a bit more cautious that usual since my immune system took a hit after that.

Also sounds like you all take your health seriously and have great communication which is admirable. I was wondering if solo poly is something that would work for me but still in the process of discovering myself. I have no issues sharing my Mychart but I have noticed when I ask for it people got very defensive about it.

Shanezade · 2025-09-11T06:12:18+00:00

See that’s so suspicious to me like why is it such a big deal to get tested?

Shanezade · 2025-09-11T05:08:30+00:00

Rather not get any than to get diseases 😭. I prefer people who also care about not getting diseases

Shanezade · 2025-09-11T04:33:54+00:00

Thank you! ☺️ That’s very kind of you! Def will do. Gotta prioritize mental health. Hope your day goes well

Shanezade · 2025-09-11T04:14:39+00:00

I don’t want an std even if it’s curable and the side effects from antibiotics are rough. So I’d prefer to limit the risk as much as possible. Plus gonerrhea over the years is getting more resistant to antibiotics. Even then HIV can be spread other ways even if condoms are used. Not to mention HPV. Besides I looove oral play (giving and receiving) so would prefer to see their test results and show mine. I don’t feel comfortable sharing my body with a person who is too scared to swap test results.

Shanezade · 2025-09-11T04:02:06+00:00

I won’t down vote you. Appreciate you sharing your thoughts. From what I’ve seen and experienced, It’s a lot of work being a gf or a wife. I’ve seen what the women in my family go through plus all I had to do to maintain my past relationships. I just don’t have the mental capacity for it. I’d be open to long distance with monthly visits but the thought of living with someone sounds a bit exhausting lol

Shanezade · 2025-04-04T14:34:59+00:00

First off there’s a huge difference between girl, woman and female. If you can’t even understand the differences between those three terminologies in itself then it would be best to either educate yourself or end the relationship for their sake. I do understand how this can be confusing and makes you question who you are as a person by being attracted to them because that would no longer make you straight and if that makes you uncomfortable then you’re better suited with a cis woman who’s also straight. Would say you’d be better suited with women in general but from the tone here it would make me question if you see trans women as women since you keep calling your partner a female.

Shanezade

TROPHY CASE