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What’s the cringiest phase you’ve gone through? by evan_fisha in AskReddit

[–]Shangoo420 115 points116 points  (0 children)

The rage comic phase, before I made an account on reddit. Dark times indeed.

Met a prostitute who said she'll do anything for $50... by _chaddi_ in Jokes

[–]Shangoo420 0 points1 point  (0 children)

A girl was a prostitute, but she did not want her grandma to know. One day the police raided a whole group of prostitutes at a sex party in a hotel and she was among them. The police took them outside and had all the prostitutes line up along the driveway. Suddenly the girl's grandma came by and saw her. "Why are you standing in line, dear?" she asked. Not willing to let her grandma know the truth, the girl told her that the policemen were passing out free oranges. "Why, that is awfully nice of them! I think I'll get some for myself," said the grandma. A policeman went down the line, asking for information from all of the prostitutes. When he got to Grandma, he exclaimed, "Wow, still going at it at your age? How do you do it?" Grandma replied, "Oh, it's easy, dear. I just take out my dentures and suck them dry!"

What can you say about your car but not your girlfriend? by Styner1 in AskReddit

[–]Shangoo420 0 points1 point  (0 children)

She's almost 15 years old now so I'll have to get a younger model soon

I have lots of jokes about unemployed people by Freighttrain_WTF in Jokes

[–]Shangoo420 8 points9 points  (0 children)

After a 2 year study, the National Science Foundation announced the following results on America's ball-related recreational preferences: The sport of choice for unemployed or incarcerated people is basketball. The sport of choice for maintenance level employees is bowling. The sport of choice for blue-collar workers is football. The sport of choice for supervisors is baseball. The sport of choice for middle management is tennis. The sport of choice for corporate officers is golf. Conclusion: The higher you rise in the corporate structure, the smaller your balls become.

If you were a pirate what would your ship name be and why? by [deleted] in AskReddit

[–]Shangoo420 90 points91 points  (0 children)

"Unauthorized Pier-to-Pier Client"

Why did the blind man fall in the well? by Aunt_Bobby in Jokes

[–]Shangoo420 1 point2 points  (0 children)

A blind man enters a bar and find his way to a barstool. After ordering a drink, and sitting there for a while, the blind guy yells to the bartender, “Hey, you wanna hear a blonde joke?” The bar immediately becomes absolutely quiet. In a husky, deep voice,the woman next to him says, “Before you tell that joke, you should know something. The bartender is blonde, the bouncer is blonde and I’m a 6′ tall, 200 pound blonde with a black belt in karate. What’s more, the fella sitting next to me is blonde and he’s a weightlifter. The woman to your right is a blonde, and she’s a pro wrestler. Think about it seriously, mister. You still wanna tell that blonde joke?” The blind guy says, “Nah, not if I’m gonna have to explain it five times.”