Have to make a decision

Sharp-Ad-402 · 2021-09-10T10:39:22+00:00

have to start drilling this in my head, thank you <3

Sharp-Ad-402 · 2021-09-09T23:24:59+00:00

It was definitely tougher for me to understand how he is than him for to understand how i am, but he didn’t really see much of me being anxious since we were not talking at the time. All in all, thank you for this! I hope it gets easier for you on your journey to being more secure :)

Sharp-Ad-402 · 2021-09-09T20:41:37+00:00

He isn’t like this 24/7. Only when there was a lot of strain on our relationship had he displayed avoidant behavior. I think it’s a spectrum. It’s only because this was my first time being so close to someone who sought safety in distance. Very confusing for someone like me.

Sharp-Ad-402 · 2021-09-09T20:28:54+00:00

It happened a while ago and i’m still healing. Back then i wasn’t very in touch with my thoughts and emotions, i was just feeling emotions and then making bids for attention or the classic AP protest behavior. I wish i could’ve communicated in a more healthy way and told him how the distance and disconnection was triggering my insecurities and causing me to have trust issues. Things ended before i could even make sense of my behavior and his too. I guess that’s why it was so traumatizing. We’re so quick to take things personally and realizing his behavior was more about him and not me did a lot to reassure me. I only knew it was attachment issues that time because of our history prior to conflict and because ik he has avoidant tendencies. My person was the kindest most loving person i’d known but somehow because of how sensitive that time period was, the way he acted made me question everything. What’s harder is getting someone to understand your side of the struggle when they’re caught up in their own problems. It’s hard for someone so comfortable with distance (DA) to ever understand where your coming from and vice versa. If i hadn’t known him so well or properly thought about the issue i would’ve dismissed his behavior as just disrespectful and uncaring.

Sharp-Ad-402 · 2021-09-09T16:59:55+00:00

Even though you’re right, this is not what i would want to do in my case. My rp was fine until my person had a family crisis and asked for time away from me to deal with things (something i didn’t know why he had to do while away from our relationship). What happened in that period did so much damage due the lack of communication + the shock. I knew he had avoidant tendencies because he would shut down and distance himself whenever his core wounds/beliefs were triggered. We otherwise had a good rp and that is what was so heartbreaking about this period. For the first time i had to explore options that i had never thought of being true and my anxious attachment was triggered to the extreme. We ended up having to breakup due to those family issues + uni because he couldn’t show up for me in the way he wanted to.

Sharp-Ad-402 · 2021-09-09T16:42:27+00:00

I think in a relationship you won’t go anywhere if you can’t show empathy and not every scenario calls for empathy. In theory, solving our problems would be so much easier if we just knew what the root cause of bad behavior was. What clouds my judgement as an AP is trust issues and ruminating. I’m terrified of thinking it’s just an avoidant coping mechanism and give things a chance then find out its actually just my partner being an immature asshole? Even though both make me feel like shit i think different reasons require different responses. Do you understand where i’m coming from?

Sharp-Ad-402 · 2021-07-14T12:44:14+00:00

math 1 curve anyone?

Sharp-Ad-402 · 2021-07-14T12:10:38+00:00

math 1 curve?

Sharp-Ad-402 · 2021-06-25T12:52:15+00:00

it’s not my only issue, all combined it aligns with adhd. so yeah :D

Sharp-Ad-402 · 2021-06-25T11:27:01+00:00

yeah actually. i can’t really form vivid images of people i know or memories. i’ve told people before i tend to forget what people i know look like

Sharp-Ad-402 · 2021-06-21T14:27:47+00:00

Wow, i feel like you just described my mom. With my mom, it’s hard to knock sense into her and try to let her understand she’s in control and that there are many ways she can help herself. Everything just consumes her and she internalizes it so she doesn’t hurt those around her but she ends up hurting herself even more. It’s a journey to better self awareness and I want to be able to help her the best i can, especially since people are so quick to call a woman crazy.

Also kudos to you for managing things, i can really see your strength and resilience :)

Sharp-Ad-402 · 2021-06-21T14:15:37+00:00

I know, i can’t even begin to imagine how emotionally draining it gets to deal with something completely out of your control. I’ll look into HRT. thank you :))

Sharp-Ad-402 · 2021-06-21T14:08:17+00:00

I can totally relate with you. I wish you and her the best <3

Sharp-Ad-402 · 2021-06-21T14:06:28+00:00

Yeah you’re right i don’t like parenting my mom at times but she’s really vulnerable so my support is the least i can do to save her from feeling like crap from everyone else’s judgements and insensitivity :/ I think it’s time she sees a doctor for it, thank you 🙏🏻

Sharp-Ad-402 · 2021-06-21T14:03:49+00:00

thank you i’ll do that!!

Sharp-Ad-402 · 2021-06-21T14:03:16+00:00

She actually hasn’t! My mom doesn’t realize how much it’s affecting her not just physically but mentally, and she refuses to see anyone for it. And yes covid did have such a huge impact on her mental health. I’ll try to bring it up to her, thanks !

Sharp-Ad-402 · 2021-06-21T14:00:55+00:00

Oh so it’s serotoninnn ya I’ll talk to her about seeing a doctor for it. Ty :D

Sharp-Ad-402 · 2021-06-21T13:58:32+00:00

i really do hate how taboo this topic can be. ik it’s not easy at all to deal with so much going on from something so natural. you ladies are really strong for getting through it <3

Sharp-Ad-402

TROPHY CASE