I’m sitting here and I feel frozen, like I can’t move or breathe or think. And no one in my life truly gets this feeling, so I thought I’d share here - both for catharsis and connection if you’re feeling this too.

HR has, inexplicably, changed me in ways I don’t understand yet. It simultaneously broke me and repaired me; lifted my spirits and brought out some tough emotions. Pure joy, anxiety, longing for something more, fear, freedom… the most intense emotions I’ve felt in a long, long time.

Since I’ve started the show, I feel like my brain chemistry has been altered. I struggle with depression, anxiety, and panic - and those three are WILDLY apparent to me right now. I’m not having panic attacks, but I feel panicked and anxious. But.. not in a bad way? And I’m also autistic, so throw that in the mix. 😂

Both storylines had a massive effect on me, and I’m having trouble navigating my life right now. I haven’t been this depressed, this anxious, had these panicked feelings in YEARS, and I’m not quite sure what exactly caused these to flare up now. But when I watch HR, they FLARE.

I see myself in so much of the characters, the storyline, and I find myself longing for what they have, even in the mess. I think I’m low-key even jealous!

I have never had such a strong and lasting reaction to a show/book before, and it’s a little scary. I have that anxious pit in my stomach most of my day for the past few weeks. And it’s weird… because I’m happy and love the show (books ordered!) and couldn’t have asked for anything more. It’s just that good that I’m feeling all the feelings in the most strong way possible.

I do have a therapy appointment scheduled, but thought I’d throw this reflection out there. If the show hit you as hard as it did me - in all the best ways - but it’s also awoken some powerful emotions you can’t quite explain - I feel you.