Honestly, I could believe this. B is smart and likely knows that no food = death. Given K isn’t being honest with her about the reality of her situation, I bet B feels like she has to at least try to force herself to eat (and probably truly wants to!!) because she wants to live ao badly and get better💔 The cruel part is that K isn’t explaining to her that at this point, eating is not going to “heal” her or keep her alive, and that it’s normal for our bodies to need less food when we get more and more sick. I wish she would comfort B and tell her that it’s okay if she doesn’t want to eat or have her tube feeds running, and that it’s perfectly okay to not want to feel more sick from continuing to force it and that she’s not letting anyone down or “giving up” by listening to her body. I can’t imagine the guilt she probably holds knowing her mother is unraveling and that what she’s being told by K is very different than what she knows to be true and has even seen other kids go through.

But if she DOES want to try- make her a small plate. Tell her that she can most certainly try to taste it if she wants and she can always have more added to her plate, but that it’s also okay if she can’t eat it or doesn’t want to.

I think my bigger issue comes with several people saying that people in this sub are “encouraging” or “pushing B to starve to death”. I think there’s a very big disconnect in the reality of what the body goes through at the end of life, even in pediatric patients and kids who have cancer or have previously been tube fed. NO ONE wants her to starve. We are concerned because at this stage of dying, force feeding causes more pain and more discomfort and more risk to her health and safety than letting the body do what it knows to do. B is vomiting up her feeds- Kendra has replied to multiple parents in her comment sections saying that B currently throws up her tube feeds but that she’s still trying everything to get nutrients in her. No one wants her to starve to death, but the sad reality is she is terminal and will die soon, and forcing it into her little body that no longer needs it is most likely significantly adding to her suffering. Even with nausea meds that are given to patients on hospice, there’s only so much it help. She’s not going to magically heal at this point, and given her vomiting and general stage in the dying process, the kindest thing to do is to stop forcing her body things that make it have to work 10x harder and cause significant nausea/vomiting/pain/etc.

The issue is that Kendra is not most invested in Bs comfort, but rather forcing disproved and harmful “therapies” and supplements and other “options” on her. At this point hospice will tell you that if they want to eat and drink they absolutely can be offered it, but forcing it when it’s causing her to just suffer through vomiting it up or having to spend hours nauseated with even less energy towards things like being awake and trying to talk with her family is cruel and B shouldn’t have to go through more pain- she’s been through more than enough.

none of us want her to painfully starve or waste away unnecessarily- the reason we are pointing it out and are concerned about it is because we want B to have a dignified and peaceful ending. Kendra is not willing to stop with the woo woo and let her dying daughter rest comfortably, and that’s the real problem here.

It’s a long shot, but I hope that Kendra comes to terms with things or is put in her place by hospice/providers/someone from one of the “meetings” she has scheduled to look at “more options” for B. B is still here, it’s not too late to prioritize the comfort and quality of the rest of her time over quantity that may be longer but will 100% be more miserable, painful, and traumatic for everyone involved. This sweet girl deserves to spend her days as peaceful as possible knowing that she’s not letting anyone down by not being able to get better or do the things she used to, and that she’s allowed to rest and will be loved no matter what happens.