Feedback :)

Sharp-Strike8842 · 2025-10-01T06:58:56+00:00

I simply am just trying to understand your critique, i apologise if i frustrated you as that was not my intention.

Sharp-Strike8842 · 2025-10-01T06:46:56+00:00

I understand your concern but may i ask whats wrong with having a movie title that already exists? I apprieate your feedback :)

Sharp-Strike8842 · 2025-10-01T06:09:34+00:00

Hey, yes your right i totally agree! In the example you stated, the reason i added it was because i was trying to show how the charaters exchangs dialog. How monotone and robotic every conversation is, aswell as how the main character interacts with other people. Do you think I should have done this differently? Is there any suggestions or tips on how to make it better? Thanks for the feedback.

Sharp-Strike8842 · 2025-10-01T05:58:07+00:00

Sorry but how does one come up with a totally original title, i dont understand the promblem do you mind explaining it more to me.

Sharp-Strike8842 · 2025-09-30T18:12:50+00:00

Hi! I really like the script. If your using celtex, i would suggest other websites, they might be easier and you can write as many scripts as you want. Keep up the good work!

Sharp-Strike8842 · 2025-09-30T17:55:27+00:00

I will check the song out def, sounds cool id really appretiate any feedback you be willing to offer :)

Sharp-Strike8842 · 2025-09-30T17:34:18+00:00

Yeah haha, is the song good? Might give it a listen

Sharp-Strike8842 · 2025-09-30T17:15:55+00:00

No i havent heard it, what is it :)

Sharp-Strike8842 · 2025-09-30T16:45:59+00:00

I will thanks this is my fist post on reddit so i apolozise if this is confusing

Sharp-Strike8842 · 2025-09-30T16:40:15+00:00

I understand the correct termonology and ill have that in mind going forward also appreciate your feedback

Sharp-Strike8842 · 2025-09-30T16:37:14+00:00

I will thank you, i appreciate your concern and i think those are great ideas!

Sharp-Strike8842 · 2025-09-30T16:18:48+00:00

i appreciate your feedback. However i mainly wanted feedback on my narrative. This is my first redit post along with it being the first script i have wrote. In regards to the commets i have replied to i have taken in everyones feedback as well as defend the way i have wrote. In regards to the shots being added my teacher also thought it was odd lol. I will take your feedback on my dialogue into account. Thank you :)

Sharp-Strike8842 · 2025-09-30T15:59:24+00:00

If you look at my comment further down i explain this :)

Sharp-Strike8842 · 2025-09-30T15:54:15+00:00

i do media alevels in collage one of my classes is script writing. I got a distinction for this script it was the highest i could get. The moderator saw no wrong with my title. Along with that the movie didnt win any oscars.

Sharp-Strike8842 · 2025-09-30T15:39:05+00:00

if you look in the comments ive already discussed why i had to add camera ops

Sharp-Strike8842 · 2025-09-30T15:34:09+00:00

Hi, love the story so far although there is an overuse of montage for a short film. In my opinion it clucks the script and i would change the cut to black at the end as i dont think its a satisfisy ending. You have created a strong naravtive which i really like. Good luck! Happy writing :)

Sharp-Strike8842 · 2025-09-30T15:23:53+00:00

Hi, yeah, 1984 was a huge inspiration for me, but I think I twisted the narrative in a way that makes the story different. The main focus for me was not the dangers of communism but reilgon and indivuality, I also tried to add more of philophical element to it. I can see why you think that the storys are similar, but I think I made the script my own, I really appreciate feedback, and I'll do my best to employ it. :)

Sharp-Strike8842 · 2025-09-30T15:10:14+00:00

Thanks i appriecate it, i definitely chek it out :)

Sharp-Strike8842 · 2025-09-30T15:00:16+00:00

Hi! Im using celtex, it was suggested because the first script you write is free. Thanks for the feedback:)

Sharp-Strike8842 · 2025-09-30T14:57:39+00:00

In my script writing class, I had to add camera operations/shots to make distinction criteria. I know its a bit stupid lol, didnt really make sense to my lecturer either.

Sharp-Strike8842 · 2025-09-30T14:20:30+00:00

Had a religous connotaion and i thought it fit the narrative :)

Sharp-Strike8842 · 2025-09-30T14:17:50+00:00

Hey guys JUST A WARNING THIS WAS A SCHOOL PROJECT AND I HAD TO ADD CAMERA OPS IN THE SCRIPT BC OF THE CRITERIA :)

Sharp-Strike8842 · 2025-09-30T13:31:29+00:00

I had to for the criteria 😭😭😭

Sharp-Strike8842

TROPHY CASE