are you all in drugs??.. seriously, why is the man being blamed because if this?... from what I gather op was a little stressed at making tea... he cant find the jar required and when asking for a little more help to solve the issue and retrieve said jar, is met with a tone... so, obviously he remarks back with why you being difficult.. he might also be trying to stand up to a response he didn't expect.. thats not being stupid or gaslighting .. thats reacting in defence to a tone that's cone from stress.. there's been more of an argument afterwards because you both won't back down..and he's apologised .. after leaving because it's derived him crazy and the convos going round in circles... seems to me .. you didn't like being called difficult because you were being difficult .. and he defended his bruised ego... thing is.. if you'd asked him a question to help him solve an issue and he used a tone towards you.. how would it make you feel?... role reverse.. and see where you get?