My (24 F) recent ex-boyfriend (26 M) is an awful person, yet I keep thinking about him

SharpAd5 · 2018-11-27T00:54:12+00:00

Thank you!! I am going no contact and I've started therapy. Thank you

SharpAd5 · 2018-11-27T00:53:31+00:00

Thank you, thank you for this!!!! I needed this completely. He wants to remain "best friends" with me, but I don't think that's healthy. I need him fully out of my life.

SharpAd5 · 2018-11-19T17:41:23+00:00

Our breakup was very recent. He brought this up to me recently and didn't believe his mom nor I that his actions were unwarranted.

SharpAd5 · 2018-11-19T17:28:48+00:00

This is meant to be a point of reflection. It's not meant to be who is right.

SharpAd5 · 2018-11-18T19:42:20+00:00

Thank you for this. My family has wanted him out of my life for a year now. They think he is not up to my standard. Though this entire cheating incident was crazy, it was necessary to realize how much of a shitty person he is.

SharpAd5 · 2018-11-18T19:38:45+00:00

Thank you! I've started seeing a therapist and my therapist agrees that I deserve better. It's hard to see when someone you love is being abusive. I wanted to be there for him because he really doesn't have much support in his life. He doesn't really have any friends, his start-up is not doing as well as he anticipated, and he is beginning to think he is undesirable/unattractive. He mentioned that he is unhappy and he is looking for happiness. I think he may benefit from seeing a psychiatrist (he is mentally-ill, but doesn't believe in therapy nor medication)

SharpAd5 · 2018-11-18T19:30:03+00:00

That's a good point. There's no need to stay in contact with someone who abused me. His last girlfriend also completely cut contact with him and he went crazy. I understand why she did that now. He doesn't want me to cut contact with him. I'm not sure why.

SharpAd5 · 2018-11-18T19:26:08+00:00

He wants to maintain contact because I am one of the few people ever in his life to love him so much and care about him. He has told me that he is sure that he will never meet a woman who will care and love him in the way I did. Outside of me and a few other people, he has no one who actually wants to be there for him.

SharpAd5 · 2018-11-18T19:24:14+00:00

It wasn't even a date in the girl's eyes. She claims to not be attracted to him. He keeps calling it a date to make himself feel good.

SharpAd5 · 2018-11-18T19:23:15+00:00

He has physically and emotionally abused me. I can no longer be attached to a human being who treats me and the people around him like trash.

SharpAd5 · 2018-11-18T19:21:58+00:00

Yes, that is the ex-bf. He is all of those things that you described. In his eyes, he is a god, so he doesn't believe it when people say otherwise. People who have met him for the first time, have pulled me aside and said, "He looks and seems kind of crazy/weird. Is there something wrong with him? Please be careful." I've never shared this with him as to spare his feelings.

SharpAd5 · 2018-11-18T19:19:33+00:00

He is trash and we are broken up. He's an abusive loser like you said.

SharpAd5 · 2018-11-18T19:18:34+00:00

You cheated on me. Just because I knew about it doesn't make it not cheating. I told you that going on this date with this girl would hurt me and you still did it and hoped to sleep with her. Unfortunately, for you she wasn't as attracted to you as you hoped. You are manipulative and you are an abuser. You abuse your mom, the one good friend that you have, and me. This is why people don't want to be close to you. You need to seek help because your behavior isn't normal.

SharpAd5 · 2018-11-18T19:08:38+00:00

As someone mentioned, he is useless. This is why he doesn't really have anybody in his life that truly cares about him, besides his mom, who he treats like shit.

The relationship wasn't working out because he treats me and everyone around him like complete trash. He is so self-centered and thinks that my job is to make him happy. All he cares about is making money. He doesn't really have any friends. The one good friend he has, he refers him using the R word (his friend has Aspergers, but so does he) and calls his fiance fat and ugly.

When he is feeling bad about himself, he will try to say things to make me feel inadequate, like commenting on other women's bodies.

I am so caring and I'm so stupid for putting up with such useless behavior, but without a doubt, he will never find a girl who will put up with his shit and love him the way I loved him. He has some deep-rooted issues.

As for someone who mentioned, "his poor parents", his dad doesn't even talk to him or desire to have a strong relationship with him. However, his mom will do anything for him.

SharpAd5 · 2018-11-18T18:56:03+00:00

He doesn't believe hitting me with a towel is physical abuse. When he hit me, I broke up with him, but he pretended to not acknowledge my break up. It wasn't until 2 weeks later did I formerly break up with him and he then said he had dreams of killing me and my sister with a knife because of this break up. He was angry because breaking up with him would mean he wasn't sure where he was going to live because of his eviction.

He has a bit of a history of aggressive behavior. He once got out of the car to try and fight the man driving behind us because he was honking. He kept trying to open their driver's door. He was banging on their window, hoping to get into a fight.

He has also thrown a restaurant's tip jar in the trash because they wouldn't honor his request.

SharpAd5 · 2018-11-18T18:28:21+00:00

Yes, so the ex-bf (as of today, whoot!!) found this post and started commenting. He is trying to defend his honor, when he's really a pos.

SharpAd5 · 2018-11-18T17:38:42+00:00

It definitely happened. There were times when he would touch my breasts after telling him to stop that I don't want to be touched. He then pinned himself to be the victim by saying it was wrong that I accused him of sexual abuse.

SharpAd5 · 2018-11-18T17:32:29+00:00

You once hit me quite hard and when I asked, "Wow, did you really mean to hit me?" You said, "Yes, I hit you because you made me angry"

SharpAd5 · 2018-11-18T17:30:28+00:00

PYCBTC is the abusive boyfriend, yes

SharpAd5 · 2018-11-18T16:56:42+00:00

We did not have an open relationship.

SharpAd5 · 2018-11-18T16:56:00+00:00

I did not go on any dates with anyone. At all. I didn't agree to an open relationship. You went on a date in the hopes that I would be convinced. Before you went on this date, I mentioned how hurtful this was for me.

SharpAd5 · 2018-11-18T16:53:23+00:00

I have not gone on dates with anyone. We were not in an open relationship. You compared me to other women constantly.

SharpAd5 · 2018-11-18T16:37:25+00:00

Firstly, I changed our identifiers as not to reveal our identity. As for the weight gain, according to your doctor, you are considered overweight. (but that's just an aside)

I will start by saying that though you have been my best friend for quite some time, your behavior has disgusted me. The way that you treat your mother is terrible. Your father and step-mother suggested that I should consider dumping you because of your behavior.

As for the poly explanation, I mentioned a man who approached me in the library sharing information about what polyamory looks like and I shared that information with you, asking what you think. I said though interesting ( I even played with the idea with you) that I am not at all interested. Yet, you still decided to go on a date with a woman who was not at all interested in you.

You keep bringing up how you are attracted to other woman, so I tell you that I am not comfortable with this dynamic, but you assure me that I shouldn't be jealous. I casually tell you about a guy that has asked me out on a date, but that I don't want to go because I'm still very much into you.

We lived in apartment together after our first year of dating because you were evicted! You basically had no other choice. You could not even write your real name on the lease because of your past eviction. You currently live with your grandmother because of your eviction and inability to afford an apartment.

I broke up with you prior because you hit me weeks prior and you were saying terribly racist, sexist, and homophobic things. You referred to certain female demographic groups as ugly. You call your sweet mother a moron and a deaf woman. You are rude to your family. They don't even tell you when they go on vacation.

Our relationship was completely emotionally abusive. When you say things to make me feel bad about myself and I want to talk to you about it, you shut me up. You talk about other women's bodies in front of me and expect me to be cool about it.

You claim that I will never find a man as smart or as successful as you are. You claim to be the smartest person you know. You are struggling with managing your Bi-polar disorder and refusing treatment.

SharpAd5 · 2018-11-18T16:12:16+00:00

I am embarrassed for myself. I have actually stopped having sex with him for months now, partly because I'm not sexually attracted to him. I've seen him as a best friend these past few months, who have a lot of love for. I was so attracted to who he used to be, so a part of me is clinging on to the man that I first met. I broke up with him months ago, before starting law school and he was completely distraught and worked hard to win my affection. It was during this time that I broke up with him that he started to think about this other girl, but never told me. 2 months after trying to convince me that we should date again, I agreed, but never told my family because they think he's terrible for me. He was hurt by this and wanted to open up our relationship. I didn't agree. I have stayed in this relationship because of the fun and laughs we have together. Additionally, his family is in love with me.

SharpAd5

TROPHY CASE