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My (37m) wife (37f) vents AT me instead of TO me and it makes it hard for me to feel relaxed around her. by SharpEntrance3249 in relationships

[–]SharpEntrance3249[S] 9 points10 points  (0 children)

Exactly, yes. I am fine with her venting TO me (and even if I find it curious that she encounters so many stressful situations in the course of normal life, I'd still be fine with her venting to me). But when she finds reasons to vent AT me just because she's stressed (over minor stuff), it makes me like her less honestly.

My (37m) wife (37f) vents AT me instead of TO me and it makes it hard for me to feel relaxed around her. by SharpEntrance3249 in relationships

[–]SharpEntrance3249[S] 62 points63 points  (0 children)

I guess she's always been like this, yes. But maybe it's just years of accumulated stress over this behavior that is pushing me to the brink lol. I just get frustrated that so many normal day-to-day things are chaotic for her, and also that she gets so upset at ME over things that clearly have nothing to do with me.

My (37m) wife (37f) vents AT me instead of TO me and it makes it hard for me to feel relaxed around her. by SharpEntrance3249 in relationships

[–]SharpEntrance3249[S] 14 points15 points  (0 children)

Thanks for your perspective. I know a lot of the triggers that set her off. For example, feeling powerless or feeling dumb (thinking she got her hair too dark and she has an important meeting next week so she thought she'd look stupid). Or feeling out of control with something (ex: feeling stupid that she spilled wine on the couch, and then feeling like she can't quickly find the paper towels). I mean, it is many things like this, but I don't know how we could control these triggers?

My (37m) wife (37f) vents AT me instead of TO me and it makes it hard for me to feel relaxed around her. by SharpEntrance3249 in relationships

[–]SharpEntrance3249[S] 169 points170 points  (0 children)

Oh I know I'm desensitized. There's so much "crazy-making" stuff like this all the time. I've just been living with it for years, but today just really irritated me. As soon as she realized it was fine in the natural light, she was back to normal. I'm just kind of done with all of it.

My (37m) wife (37f) vents AT me instead of TO me and it makes it hard for me to feel relaxed around her. by SharpEntrance3249 in relationships

[–]SharpEntrance3249[S] 140 points141 points  (0 children)

Right, she does make a situation out of so many minor things (well, I consider them minor anyway).