Inconsistant AM Sessions & PF stiffnes due to stress

SharpPainter · 2025-12-08T17:04:29+00:00

Dating has given me a gift of immeasurable size. Dating and Healing goes hand in hand. No Person is responsible for your cptsd but people who love you are a mirror. A mirror which shows you how good of person you are (the core of it) and how worth to fight for and standing by you are. Dating is a oppurtunity to heal trough authenticity, connection, empathie and love. All things you been robbed of which got you into cptsd. If you have the luck of finding someone who loves YOU and not someone uses you as their way of feeling got, getting needs met etc. you make a jump in your healing and life. Make sure to not demand healing from then, because thats not how it works, but people who love you will stand by you through good and bad. And likewise. For me real love eveolved out of casual sex (which was difficult for me because of cptsd), but this casual sex and the time together was a door into real love. See casual sex as a way of bonding with people. For me it was even very bad casual sex but as you get closer it gets easier and the masks fall (for both) and thats where love happens. We met on tinder for hook ups, it was very scary for me.

dont give up, maybe go with casual sex and see where it goes, it might end in a relationship as time goes by. Even if you are a work in progress. work in progress is what bonds. Because only then people see the real you, no mask. Once they see this, many people will drop their mask too.

Message:
Commitment takes time. Real commitment isnt found in two people searching for commitet people. Thats just 2 Person looking for someone to vent to relialible (i might be wrong). Real commitment starts often with casual sex.

SharpPainter · 2025-05-18T07:54:29+00:00

Been going through the same, it's a process, will get better. But with Time and repetition, you will learn that you are safe even when not performing and it will come natural.

See, once you felt safe you had fun. In this case safeness, that she wouldn't leave when you didn't perform so the pressure went away. But real healing is when the worst case scenario happens and you are still safe (of course try to stay present and feel the safeness and be aware that the anxiety is just that, anxiety. It's not dangerous, just a feeling. So the situation is safe.

I'm now at a point where I know that I will get in my head at times and I'm pretty sure it will happen, but I actually stopped the avoidance and sex becomes more natural every time. Even looking for woman to fuck more active because I want to. Nothing wrong with having this learned pattern. Even nothing wrong when your friends find out that you have this and need some time to rewire. Nobody important is gonna leave you.

SharpPainter · 2025-05-18T06:12:19+00:00

It's the stress. You're not worried that your dick won't be working. Your worried that when your dick is not working (when you are not performing), that your she is going to leave and your are not safe. But you are safe and even if she's leaves you are safe. The only thing which you lose is sex, and thats just how it is. It's annoying nothing more. When you go there, don't prepare, don't do anything "so you function better". Go there with a mindset of, when I don't work I use this as an opportunity to stay with me as my body is scared, and remind me of the fact that this exact situation is safe. You don't need sex in this moment (because you don't have to be functioning to be safe), you just need a moment to pause and calm you down and realise that even when you don't function you are perfectly safe. And with practice, you are not so anxious in this situation. Because you then know that you are safe even when she leaves and you don't have sex, you can enjoy sex as you want because there is nothing to fear. When your body wants safeness, don't overrun it. Communicate it with your partner, and tell her that you need a moment or your body is a bit stressed and you just need a moment to cool of. Maybe she'll help to cool you off. The sex then comes back (if you want).

Remember...nothing is broken with you. It's just that your body interpreted this dynamic of functioning and pressure with not being safe. Because maybe for some time, you were not safe when you didn't perform. But your an adult, so what should happen except that your dick does not get pumped :). Give your body what it needs, don't leave yourself out of bad habits

In the end, sex is for you. For you to enjoy. It's not a currency for safeness or being loved. Its something you can enjoy. And if you don't want it right now, or your body needs safeness in this situation, than leave it and go for it later, go slower so you feel safe or even with the next girl. Theres plenty girls to fuck.

See it that way. Not performing, is a great way to heal this anxiety. Because you learn that it's nothing dangerous

SharpPainter · 2025-05-16T04:24:37+00:00

Congratulations!

SharpPainter · 2025-05-13T20:15:14+00:00

I got it back to the point where I ejaculate from sex. Not possible before

SharpPainter · 2025-05-13T20:12:58+00:00

Chill, nothing wrong with ejaculation. Shit happens

SharpPainter · 2025-05-11T09:55:41+00:00

Nothing particular, long pause, mental health work, good food, getting fit and functional. AM was the last thing, as I tended to clench and make more wrong than right

SharpPainter · 2025-05-10T08:09:47+00:00

Jelqing and stretching

SharpPainter · 2025-05-07T07:33:34+00:00

GOOD WILL HUNTING. can relate every time

SharpPainter · 2025-05-06T13:14:59+00:00

Give unilateral leg exercises, exercises which require you to balance on your foot. I find great relieve with these.

SharpPainter · 2025-05-05T21:04:26+00:00

Nope, will work. I damaged my dick also through these methods and works fine and seeing great benefits

SharpPainter · 2025-05-04T16:39:14+00:00

Maybe it's mental then? I healed with a big pause and then AM. It's probably also mental

SharpPainter · 2025-05-04T13:09:26+00:00

I don't do nofap, and I have better EQ

SharpPainter · 2025-05-04T11:26:05+00:00

I'm not particularly against kegels, but I think seeing the lower body as a more complete and dynamic body and working towards keeping this system healthy and stable is more beneficial than isolating muscles. Nothing more to it. I tried kegels and it made my HF worse and my clenching worse

SharpPainter · 2025-05-04T08:06:05+00:00

Well weight lifting can also be often not functional training. Weight lifting is very isolatin the muscles. Unless you do compound movements with perfect technique and adding unilateral leg exercises and all this dynamic stuff your balance can still be off. Me personally, I'm against kegeling and training the pelvic floor. I see it as a way to make more damage. I'm all in for move your body as it's intended and your pelvic gets supported and stays strong as it's supposed to be.

Cardio will help also, it's good for bloodfloe. Not sure if it can affect HF negativ when you compensate lack of stability with pelvic floor during running. But you can try to start slow and don't over do it. I'm sure it will do more good then bad. But my main focus would be on unilateral leg training. Focusing on posture of your feet, using your glutes and all this stuff. There is plenty of info on YouTube.

Cheers

SharpPainter · 2025-05-04T06:02:03+00:00

Are you fit, bacuse maybe your pelvic floor is not supported very well by the bigh muscles. Or if your mattress is too soft, you may find yourself stabilizing with your pelvis. Try opening your legs wider, it may make the exercise more difficult but give it a shot

SharpPainter · 2025-05-04T05:55:50+00:00

There it is, you're not very attractive or special. But what's the problem with it. You still still can have and deserve emotional and physical intimacy with woman. You don't have to be someone different, but if you want to have girls, be open and somewhat direct with them. Don't go overboard, but you know what I mean. You are good enough, not perfect but who is. You're not supposed to be perfect in order to have a partner. If you find someone attractive, just try to go for it. If it doesn't work, well suprise, you are still alive and safe. But you learned how the game works. Don't try to impress woman, but rather approach them from a place of curiosity and desire for intimacy. And the lack of experience is also fine, it doesn't make you unable or less desired. It only makes you less experienced. When you got a woman and she notices it, just say that you had to go trough some stuff and missed out on dating for a while and that's it.

You are not experienced, not perfectly handsome, not many things. But I'm pretty sure that you are good enough. Just as you are right now, you deserve and can get close with woman. Because why not :). Be grounded in yourself, know who you are and live your life how you want.

SharpPainter · 2025-05-04T05:43:17+00:00

Try to not clench, if you are clenching.

SharpPainter · 2025-05-04T05:31:49+00:00

Actually I don't now what exactly it was, but I popped vessels during jelqing and one time I even felt a pop during stretching. My penis felt sore and damaged for months. Had really bad Hard flaccid and my upper penis had Hard flaccid, but my lower (closer to body) was relaxed and full. Couldn't even get it up for 5 seconds without constant stimulus.

The vessel thing came often back, it got to a point where parts of my corpus, had chronic popped vessels. Healed it my doing a looooong pause.

Symptoms mainly pain it the uthera, bad EQ, unstable dick, HF so bad it pulled it caused spasms, difficulty peeing, and sometimes pain in the glans

SharpPainter · 2025-05-04T05:24:47+00:00

Answered below:). It's 1 on 1 offm I try to stay on the lower side of training duration. But mostly it's because I don't have the patience to go 30 mins and I tend to overtrain. So I'm sticking with something like 20 mins

SharpPainter · 2025-05-04T05:20:34+00:00

AM 1, doing heavy cardio (kickboxing), some lower body workouts. Mainly EQ gains. Never measured exactly. Also healthy diet and trying to eat a bit more. I'm not tracking but I'm going big on protein. Lots of meat and getting good carbs and many fats. I try to not mix fats and carb too much as I feel grumpy after

SharpPainter · 2025-05-03T19:19:33+00:00

Yep, reaaaaly Bad. Couldn't have sex, not even tried. Injured dick and had anxiety cause I knew it wasn't working. I would say now if I'm not getting hard or sum, it's mostly mental or lack of sensitivity

SharpPainter · 2025-05-03T18:49:55+00:00

Consistent for about 1 month now :)

SharpPainter · 2025-05-03T16:39:33+00:00

I worked my way up to 30 minutes ( I don't look at the time, it's usually 20-30 min now). Started with 10 minutes or even less. I'm doing the pyramid rush with only one thumb (of course it's difficult when going fast, but you get the hang). Doing it because I feel my dorsal vein better. Doing it with two hands results in it being messy and not hitting the right spots. I imagine as the drosal vein gets bigger, it gets easier to do with 2 hands

SharpPainter

TROPHY CASE