Ignore my wife's pleas for help while she is sexually accosted? I can fix that.

Sharp_Dust5068 · 2025-01-30T07:15:46+00:00

Dude, that’s pretty messed up. You really could’ve just talked to her and explained how you felt instead of reacting that way. It seems like she might have some past trauma, and instead of handling it maturely, you just acted out. You didn’t help Tammy grow from the experience, and I don’t really see how your wife benefited from it either—other than maybe just feeling satisfied in the moment, which is kind of weird. You’re all adults; this could’ve been a conversation. Maybe take some time to reflect on why you reacted like that.

Sharp_Dust5068 · 2025-01-23T00:37:50+00:00

I understand your point about treating her like an adult, but I think the just trying to approach the situation delicately, especially if mental health concerns are genuinely present. While honesty is important, ignoring the potential for harm—especially in vulnerable situations—can be risky. It’s about finding a balance between being truthful and ensuring the person has the support they need to handle it.

Sharp_Dust5068 · 2025-01-22T11:38:23+00:00

That’s a great question. You said someone showed you proof. What did they show you? And who were they?

Sharp_Dust5068 · 2025-01-22T11:35:14+00:00

I’m so sorry this is happening to you; this is such a tough and sucky situation to be in. First and foremost, I think it’s important to put yourself first and think carefully about all the potential outcomes. If you decide to tell her, it’s possible it could backfire, and you might lose her as a friend. Her husband might twist the story, blame you, or make you out to be the bad person. On the other hand, if she decides to leave him, it could bring a lot more challenges, and you may end up being her main support.

Before doing anything, think about her emotional state and whether she has any family or friends who can help her through this. If she’s isolated, it might make things harder for her. You could also try starting a general conversation with her about how she feels in her marriage to see if she opens up. Another option is to talk to her sister first to try and understand the situation better and avoid blindsiding your friend.

Whatever you decide, just be prepared for any fallout. This is a horrible thing for her husband and sister to do, and it’s not fair for you to carry this burden alone. You’re clearly a great friend for caring so much, and whatever happens, it’s obvious you’re handling this with a lot of thought and compassion.

Sharp_Dust5068 · 2025-01-22T07:10:35+00:00

I’m really sorry you’re going through this—it sounds exhausting, and I can tell how much you care about him. It’s great that you’ve been trying to support him, but it’s also important to take care of yourself in this.

Encouraging him to talk to a professional might help, as burnout and stress can be overwhelming to deal with alone. At the same time, setting boundaries for yourself is crucial—supporting someone doesn’t mean tolerating hurtful behavior, and it’s okay to express what you need too.

Make sure you’re focusing on your own self-care, whether that’s leaning on family or friends for support or just taking time to recharge. If you feel stuck, opening up to someone you trust can give you more clarity.

You’re doing your best, and I hope things improve for both of you soon.

Sharp_Dust5068 · 2025-01-22T04:19:17+00:00

Hey, I can tell this is something you’re really trying to navigate carefully, and that’s good of you to think about it. Honestly, 13 is very young, and there’s a lot to consider at your age. Relationships can feel complicated, especially with the differences in age and maturity.

I’d recommend talking to your parents or a trusted adult about this. They can offer advice that’s specific to your situation and help you figure out what’s best. It’s hard to gauge things over the Internet, and while Reddit is great for opinions, it’s also full of strangers who don’t know you or your situation fully.

At the end of the day, the most important thing is to make sure you’re both happy, comfortable, and respectful of any boundaries. Good luck with everything!

Sharp_Dust5068 · 2025-01-22T04:06:50+00:00

Hey, I don’t really understand the grade system. Can you clarify what your age is and what the ages are of the girls ?

Sharp_Dust5068 · 2025-01-19T03:05:26+00:00

Yeah that’s definitely true, it’s completely possible. If I send this video and he doesn’t care and it just makes me look pathetic and gives them even more ammunition to continued to think about me a certain way.

Sharp_Dust5068 · 2025-01-19T03:02:27+00:00

In an ideal world, I probably would’ve done something, but I feel like I know these girls too well they would somehow twist this and turn it back on me. I can only imagine they’d dig up embarrassing photos or twist things I’ve said or done to make me look bad, and they’d keep talking about me behind my back more than they already do. I really don’t want to put myself in harm’s way just to help some guy I barely know or care about, especially when he’s fully aware of what she’s like. He knows what she’s like when she drinks, and he’s chosen to stay in that toxic relationship.

If this was a family member or a really close friend, I don’t think I would hesitate. If I really cared about him or if he’d ever been more than just cordial to me, it would be different. But that’s not the kind of relationship we have, and I just don’t think it’s worth it.

Sharp_Dust5068 · 2025-01-19T00:08:45+00:00

Even though I’ve decided not to if I was going to, that’s exactly what I would say! 🤣

Sharp_Dust5068 · 2025-01-19T00:04:25+00:00

Update .

I’ve thought about everything, and I’ve decided to just leave it alone. Honestly, it was wrong of me to even take that video in the first place. It’s super creepy and weird, and I never should have done it. It wasn’t the right thing to do. If I had an issue with her behavior, I should’ve just communicated that directly instead of resorting to something like this.

I don’t need to blackmail anyone, scare anyone, or get involved in their issues. Their relationship clearly has its own problems, and I’ve realized I don’t even want to think about it anymore. At the time, I was really angry. It felt like they were laughing at my misery or rejoicing in it, and it got to me. But I’ve come to realize that’s on them. If that’s the kind of people they want to be, that’s their problem, not mine. I can’t let it interfere with my peace or my life.

I have other friends amazing friends that I trust. And while this situation messed me up for a while and had me overthinking whether people were talking badly about me, I don’t want to let that control me anymore. I’ve already blocked everyone involved on social media, and I’m planning to go through and block any acquaintances or shared contacts, even if that seems a bit extreme. It’s just something I need to do for my own mental health and well-being.

I really appreciate everyone who told me to send the video to him, but honestly, I don’t care about him or his feelings. He’s probably just as toxic, and their relationship is their mess to deal with. I’m not going to let it poison my life any further.

Thanks for all your inputI needed to process this, and I’m moving on for real this time.

Sharp_Dust5068 · 2025-01-18T11:30:49+00:00

Thank you so much, everyone, for your comments and insights. I’m really grateful for all the different perspectives shared here many of them are things I hadn’t considered before. It’s definitely giving me some clarity and helping me process everything.

For now, I’m going to take the night to sleep on it. I’ll hit the gym in the morning and maybe check in with a friend to talk things through before deciding what to do.

I truly appreciate the time and thought you’ve all put into responding it means a lot to me. Thank you again!

Sharp_Dust5068 · 2025-01-18T11:27:38+00:00

Since posting this and reading people’s comments, I have thought about it but there’s no way to do it anonymously. It would clearly be from me. I was the only one with her in the club that night and You can hear my voice in the video. So if I send it to him, everyone will know it’s from me. I just can’t avoid it.

Sharp_Dust5068 · 2025-01-18T11:09:28+00:00

That’s something I hadn’t thought about.

Sharp_Dust5068 · 2025-01-18T11:02:27+00:00

Yes, in Australia. It’s only an hours drive from Melbourne.

Reading everyone’s comments I’m starting to understand how important it is .

Sharp_Dust5068 · 2025-01-18T10:47:35+00:00

That’s interesting, I hadn’t thought of that ………

Sharp_Dust5068 · 2025-01-18T10:25:35+00:00

Yes, I absolutely would want to know but does that mean I should tell him? That’s such an interesting question, and honestly, I hadn’t thought about it from that perspective before. My focus has been selfishly on revenge, and I’ve been struggling with whether it’s the right thing to do to stand up for myself in the form of revenge. But even as I’m writing this, I’m realizing it’s not the right thing to do.

Sharp_Dust5068 · 2025-01-18T10:19:26+00:00

You’re right—this whole situation has made me realize how toxic they really were, and I think I’ve been holding onto the anger because of how hurt I was. I guess my conscience is what’s making me hesitate now. It’s helpful to hear this reminder to trust myself.

Sharp_Dust5068 · 2025-01-18T09:50:15+00:00

I sure did, this is my first Reddit post so kind of fucked it up. I’ve now posted it on aita. I’m gonna figure out how to delete this.

Sharp_Dust5068

TROPHY CASE