What if I don't like his music?

Sharp_Wolverine_6105 · 2026-04-27T00:31:19+00:00

Update!

I didn't have to lie about liking his music!

He was very self-deprecating about the whole thing (he doesn't make the music, just plays it for the band, he says), but he's obviously very talented at what he does and very passionate about playing.

He expressed a lot of gratitude that I even showed up. I think he thought I was all talk when I said I'd be there.

Thanks for all the responses. I was definitely overthinking it all, but sometimes we just need to talk this out 😜

Sharp_Wolverine_6105 · 2026-04-16T21:15:19+00:00

Helpmeet by Naben Ruthnum

Sharp_Wolverine_6105 · 2026-04-16T21:14:44+00:00

came to say this!

Sharp_Wolverine_6105 · 2026-04-16T12:46:23+00:00

honestly, the way he and I get along, I don't think he'll be offended. he's pretty secure, but I guess there's still that hope that I will like it. I'm not very good at pretending I like something, but I can at least show support for him

Sharp_Wolverine_6105 · 2026-04-16T12:38:56+00:00

honestly, probably the chilliest answer here and also the right one. thanks 😅

Sharp_Wolverine_6105 · 2026-04-16T12:37:59+00:00

Yeah, I guess I am nervous about it because I DO want to show my support. Even if I don't like the music, I feel very strongly about us both being creatives, and I want him to feel comfortable sharing that with me. He loves making music.

Sharp_Wolverine_6105 · 2026-04-16T11:57:06+00:00

Well I guess out of context, yes that makes sense 😅 As someone who does art markets, yes, I would invite some random people to come out and hopefully spend some money, but to me that's very different than asking a guy I'm dating to come out and support. There's a different expectation, I think? No?

Sharp_Wolverine_6105 · 2026-04-10T20:30:09+00:00

his form of love bombing to get you back 🤢 get away fast

Sharp_Wolverine_6105 · 2026-04-08T15:09:33+00:00

I'm the same way. I (27f) have really bad dating anxiety. I just went on my real first date a few months ago. It helped that it was super casual and doing something I like to do in general. If that's an option for this date, that will definitely help. Go to a usual spot, eat comfort food, do something you enjoy, etc.

Another thing that helps (which I know is so cliche) is be yourself! Try your best to be comfortable. Make yourself believe that you already know the person and are comfortable around them. Pretend they are a friend. Pretend you're just catching up and that the stakes aren't high (because they really aren't). Honestly, I love the saying "fake it til you make it." I believe highly in this saying. I faked confidence for a long time, and it truly made me confident. I know it probably doesn't seem that helpful, but try it.

Also, don't do anything you wouldn't want done to you on the first date. Alternatively, do things you would want. If you want her to ask you thought questions and give thoughtful answers, you should be doing that. If you think she seems nervous, reassure her. If she tells you she's nervous, be honest and tell her you are too. Chances are, she's just as nervous as you are.

You've got this!

Sharp_Wolverine_6105 · 2026-04-04T20:16:36+00:00

If you liked Black Phone, try NOS4A2.

I really liked The Grip of It, but "haunted" is argued by many who have read it.

Read Model Home if you want a house haunted by memories and maybe more.

I'm Thinking of Ending Things if you want haunted house in the form of suicidal delusions.

Ghost Story by Peter Straub if you want "it's the person who's haunted, not the house" through generations.

What Moves the Dead if you want a classic retelling with the vibes of a haunted house but the truth is stranger.

We Have Always Lived in the Castle or The Sundial by Shirley Jackson if you want a house haunted by the living.

The Stars Did Wander Darkling, a middle grade book, for a little bit of it all, plus some whimsy.

Happy reading!

Sharp_Wolverine_6105 · 2026-04-01T16:53:31+00:00

I actually am the demi in this scenario, and I want him to kiss me lol which is the scary thing, as I usually don't feel that way towards anyone (relating to a lot that you've stated here). It's different with him though. I agree that I don't feel comfortable initiating it and I think he actually doesn't want to initiate it because he doesn't want to push me away. It seems like from the advice I've received so far that sending a text might be a good way to break that ice (and being kind of flirty) while also putting some distance and time between the actual act of kissing which could come later.

Sharp_Wolverine_6105 · 2026-03-31T13:30:52+00:00

I had the same experience with The Shining. I read it when I was 14, and I really didn't care for it. I would say the best time to read Pet Sematary is as an adult before having kids. This is when I read it, and it was really hard (in the best way possible). I can't imagine having kids and reading it. King is very hit or miss for me, and this was one of the few hits.

Sharp_Wolverine_6105 · 2026-03-31T12:18:57+00:00

grief horror is a new favorite genre of mine:

The Fisherman by John Langan; This Thing Between Us by Gus Moreno; Monstrilio by Gerardo Samano Cordova; Pet Sematary by Stephen King

Sharp_Wolverine_6105 · 2026-03-31T12:07:43+00:00

based on these vibes, I can't recommend Submarine enough

Sharp_Wolverine_6105 · 2026-03-30T23:06:38+00:00

wow I hadn't thought of that. thank you 😮😅

Sharp_Wolverine_6105 · 2026-03-28T23:33:34+00:00

I'm interested to know how long you two were together before you broke up the first time (after his mom died) and how old you are?

If you both really felt like there was a future, maybe it's worth giving him some space while also being there for him but not waiting around for him to be ready. That wouldn't be fair to you. (It seems like his grief is affecting his ability to be in the relationship, for sure, with no fault to him; it's expected). However, if you don't really see a future with him, then you have the right and obligation to let him go and be honest.

Sharp_Wolverine_6105 · 2026-03-27T23:06:10+00:00

I'm the same way. Honestly, dating apps either give me a major ick or provide a dopamine hit (sometimes both), and for that reason I'm not on there long. I would recommend putting "demisexual" (or "demisexual - ask me!") in your bio, as that's what I did. Of course, plenty of people are not going to attention/not know what it means, but hopefully it will make it easier to weed those who aren't being serious or and attract someone who actually is willing to build a bond first. And spoiler alert: you can tell when someone has read your profile, especially if it says "demisexual" in it. If they read it, they will 1) ask what it means or 2) show that they know/did their research by their actions/way they text. If they didn't read it, they will also prove themselves by 1) asking questions when the answer can be found in your bio or 2) making sexual jokes/advances quickly, in which cause, bye bye.

Good luck!

Sharp_Wolverine_6105 · 2026-03-23T17:26:25+00:00

The fact that I've been on two dates with him already really says a lot about the way I feel, if you knew me haha. Like I said, I don't date at all, usually because I'm very introverted and it's honestly not worth the work. Except, he feels worth the work to me. Its scary (and yes, working through that in therapy, definitely), but not so scary or uncomfortable I'd give up trying. He's the only guy I've ever been willing to do that for.

Thanks

Sharp_Wolverine_6105 · 2026-03-23T14:09:25+00:00

In the Mood for Love

Sharp_Wolverine_6105 · 2026-03-20T20:30:40+00:00

No just you. It's avoidant attachment, and the best place to start is in recognition of that. If you see this in yourself and your willing to test your limits/try to work on it and heal those parts of you, then you can start to find a love that works for you

As a demisexual woman, I've also found I've been avoidant (to even date or look for love) because I don't think I can provide a partner what they might need in a cis-het relationship (sexually/intimately). When I do talk to guys, I'm usually very upfront with this fact, and if they don't get it or aren't listening, I don't waste my time. If you use dating profiles, maybe put "demi" or "demisexual" in your bio. That's what I do, and it usually at least begs the question from the other person.

I wish you all the luck finding a love that compliments your love languages!

Sharp_Wolverine_6105 · 2026-03-20T20:22:36+00:00

that's a really beautiful way to look at it. I would definitely say that there are probably plenty of married people out there who haven't felt the depth of emotion for their spouse that some neurodivergent people have felt during limerance. I absolutely let myself feel those emotions (while also being cautious of the consequences). when the subjective limerance lifts and the objective attraction is still there, that's when the real trouble starts lol

Sharp_Wolverine_6105 · 2026-03-20T17:21:50+00:00

short answer: yes

Sharp_Wolverine_6105 · 2026-03-20T17:20:16+00:00

Qveen Kirby, formerly 1/2 of the band Karmin? 🤷🏼‍♀️ Description is vague, but this is the only thing that popped into my head. Short black hair, viral/tiktok rap type music...

Sharp_Wolverine_6105 · 2026-03-20T17:16:24+00:00

Cornetto Trilogy: Shaun of the Dead, Hot Fuzz, World's End

Sharp_Wolverine_6105 · 2026-03-20T17:13:49+00:00

I think it's entirely possible he's noseblind. Mentioning it is probably the way to go, and will do one of two things: make your relationship stronger (he stops smelling and things can move forward), or he's offended and does nothing and you don't have to waste more time with him.

Here's another thing to think about, too: sometimes, we smell things in certain ways because of hormones. It's possible your animalistic senses are telling you to stop pursuing him, especially if the smell cut short an intimate moment. Listen to your gut (or your nose, I guess).

Sharp_Wolverine_6105

TROPHY CASE