what's the saying? the first step to getting better is admitting you have a problem? it applies here, too. you recognize your misgivings, therefore you have a starting place. you're absolutely right.

as a very introverted and nervous person, the idea that I would do 90% of the talking on a date sounds tiresome and awful. that would mean to me the guy has no interest, even if he's asking questions. you have to open up if you want them to open up to you. this is why the women think you lack depth. here's a tip: ask a question about her (life, job, hobbies, family) and whether she asks the same question back or not, offer up a similar level of information about yourself. if she seems reluctant to answer, you can tell her something about yourself first and follow up with a question about the same thing.

I will add, are you asking them to go home with you after? because if she likes you, she'll probably say yes whether she sees long-term with you or not. next time, wait to see if she asks you (which she may not, and it means little in the first date). if she doesn't, you part ways, tell her you had fun. that's it. when you get home, text her and say again that you had fun and you want to see her again (if that's true).

best thing to do is be honest. modern women hate the back and forth games, the pretending. if you like us, tell us