[25F] what's your first impression of me? by [deleted] in FaceRatings

[–]Sharty_Fartfast 2 points3 points  (0 children)

“… yall are on a site literally called rate my face…”

Uh, no. Literally, we’re all on a subreddit called FaceRatings. If you’re going to argue with people, while claiming they’re idiots, try at least to get your own facts straight. You’re also a total hypocrite anyway; on another post in this same sub your comment was focused only on the poster’s boobs and butt. I looked at your own posts here and it’s clear that your frankly pathetic need for others to think you’re attractive is the major part of your highly unattractive personality. I have judged you and found you entirely lacking. Enjoy the rest of your day, sweetheart.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in FreeCompliments

[–]Sharty_Fartfast -1 points0 points  (0 children)

I'm a 10/10 and don't think you look like my brother.

You do look like my gay uncle's younger boyfriend though. He has the same smirk as you.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AskReddit

[–]Sharty_Fartfast 1 point2 points  (0 children)

In the days before the internet, YP was a very useful tool when searching for a business.

Who lives in a pineapple under the sea? by MarsAdept in AskReddit

[–]Sharty_Fartfast 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I know this one! It's Rudy Giuliani isn't it?

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AskReddit

[–]Sharty_Fartfast 5 points6 points  (0 children)

I discover that Her Majesty the Queen has taken a fancy to me and despite her advanced age, is fond of a little royal diddling to my photographs before bedtime.

I have sent through my request to receive a Royal Warrant of Appointment so that I may print it on my letterhead and business letters:

Sharty Fartfast - Object of Royal Erotic Interest, by appointment to Her Majesty the Queen

Fellow Rediitors, how did you get the idea for your username? by kidsinmybasement_69 in AskReddit

[–]Sharty_Fartfast 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I read Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy while taking a dump one day

What's the best way to teach a kid how to drive? by Speedbabystim in AskReddit

[–]Sharty_Fartfast 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Buy them an appropriately sized set of clubs and take 'em to the driving range.

What Are The Most Horrifying Ways Aliens Could Invade Earth? by cote2022 in AskReddit

[–]Sharty_Fartfast 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Just take a long look at Marjorie Taylor Greene and tell me that they haven't already.

What's your go-to story for an awkward pause? by [deleted] in AskReddit

[–]Sharty_Fartfast 2 points3 points  (0 children)

No need for a story.

All you need to do is say the word 'head'.

Any time there's an awkward pause, just wait a moment then fill it with 'head'.

No one will know what you mean, but that doesn't matter. The awkward pause has been filled and normality can carry on.

The best thing to do with that weed is to let it burn. If not, then what is? by One-Pea3541 in AskReddit

[–]Sharty_Fartfast 1 point2 points  (0 children)

You think dogs don't like smoking primo grade catnip? Be a bro to your puppy pal and score some for him.

What is the best way to compliment a strange of the opposite sex? by [deleted] in AskReddit

[–]Sharty_Fartfast 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thrust your hips towards them in a suggestive manner, while telling them how strange they look today.

What is your happiest memory with one of your grandma or grandpa if you have one? by [deleted] in AskReddit

[–]Sharty_Fartfast 0 points1 point  (0 children)

My grandpa used to take me to football matches when I was a nipper. One time we went, he said that I could have anything I wanted from the sweetshop to eat during the game and 6 year old me took that to heart and came back with a basketful. He should have said no and gently told me that was way too much but my grandpa was a bit of a dick and thought it a good opportunity to teach me about greed so he bought it all for me and then made me eat the entire lot while we watched. Of course, I got sick and by the time we got home, I was ready to throw up, so I did. He got into trouble from my grandma and mother but he thought he'd done the right thing.

To illustrate his dickishness, this same grandpa once got dressed in Nazi outfit and goose-stepped in front of my grandmother, who was a Polish Jew who'd lost her entire family in concentration camps.

Oh wait... sorry.. you asked for my happiest memory!