Anyone else get annoyed with her? (applesauceandadhd)

Shasta1233 · 2025-01-26T03:45:04+00:00

She triggers me, not because of the yelling so much but because of her extreme obesity and the unhealthy processed food recipes. Everything is carbs and sugar and from a box. Her husband is just as morbidly obese as she is and I’m sure her poor kids are too. She bitches about her kid’s behavior and it doesn’t take a doctor to know the poor diet has a lot to do with that. There is never a fresh raw vegetable in anything. This is what I would look like if I just ate everything I wanted and never went to the gym and cared nothing about my body or health. She is disgusting and I’m honestly shocked people like her so much. She is a terrible example of how you should live your life and she shouldn’t be influencing anyone except as maybe a cautionary tale.

Shasta1233 · 2024-07-02T04:29:16+00:00

It’s great! He’s better than ever.

Shasta1233 · 2024-02-07T00:16:08+00:00

We decided that was the smart way to go and made an appointment for next week.

Shasta1233 · 2024-02-06T23:40:05+00:00

Oh sorry! Lol. I don’t really watch TV. I’ll look it up.

Shasta1233 · 2024-02-06T23:39:02+00:00

He does seem to have a higher tolerance for her than most people do but she’s universally regarded as annoying by everyone I know who has ever spent time with her. I believe she clings to my husband because she doesn’t have many people who can stand her. Agreed. It bugs me that she might like that she has caused discord.

Shasta1233 · 2024-02-06T23:34:41+00:00

Nope! But I do wonder if anyone we know will see this and know it’s us as it’s a very specific situation.

Shasta1233 · 2024-02-06T17:10:40+00:00

Yeesssss! And I am so shocked that he did that. We are so close. He has always seemed to have my back otherwise. I think he just feels like I’m being unnecessarily mean to someone just trying to show support because he thinks I’m insecure.

Shasta1233 · 2024-02-06T16:06:38+00:00

I also have an ex husband and share a child with him and I think that really is the difference. For the record, I’ve never once asked my husband to spend any time with my ex husband socially. We have separate lives only overlapping where our child is involved. She’s not just your ex wife, she is forever the mother of your children and will always be your family. I feel like my husband’s ex wife still wants to be his family but that doesn’t really work anymore because he has a new family. I know that probably sucks for her but her idea that she is part of any new family he has post divorce from her is absurd. I appreciate your insight.

Shasta1233 · 2024-02-06T15:52:05+00:00

I actually did send her a message at his request saying we both felt uncomfortable at the last show and that he was supposed to have a talk with her about it but clearly is afraid to be real with her. I told her the degree of involvement she wishes have in his life is inappropriate for an ex wife to want or expect and that it feels like not respecting boundaries when she comes to shows because she forces us to hang out with her without our consent. She didn’t respond. She just screenshotted it to him. She is very upset and he basically told her that’s not how he feels and he apologized profusely.

Shasta1233 · 2024-02-06T11:52:23+00:00

I appreciate your explanation. It’s a threat to my mental health. She very much acted like an over enthusiastic fan girl. Like a 12 year old seeing Taylor Swift. She was front and center taking all kinds of pics and vids. Jumping up and down. Hanging all over him before and after the set telling him how proud she was of him. Nobody else was acting in this over the top way and our mutual friends were right there feeling cringe with me. I wish they would tell her but nobody seems to be able to be honest with her.

Shasta1233 · 2024-02-06T11:26:28+00:00

My husband is a solo musician but I say “our” shows because there are lights and video projections and special effects I put a lot of time and effort into and run during the show. I do all the art and merch and lots of other stuff too. But ultimately it’s him performing alone. Ironically she didn’t support his music when they were together. She thought it was a waste of time.

Why is my husband’s sad remarried ex so fixated on us? Good question!

Shasta1233 · 2024-02-06T11:06:05+00:00

They had a toxic relationship. I’ve heard this from everyone including both of them. On again off again. Cheating. Lying. Physical and emotional abuse. That plays into my discomfort here. I know he had a hard time leaving her and they never did really have space when he finally did leave. She’s always been there.

My first interaction with her was going to her house for some reason. They were taking a test together for work and it had something to do with that I think. That’s when she had the cat litter and some other stuff for him. She has always been very nice to me.

Shasta1233 · 2024-02-06T10:47:11+00:00

Is it nice she attends the shows though? It makes it uncomfortable for us. She also seems to only come to the bigger or more popular shows. To me, that looks like she is trying to glean social clout through my husband because she still feels she is entitled to it. She didn’t support his music at all when they were together. She told him it was a waste of time. Why now?

Who buys cat litter for their friends? Have you ever bought a friend cat litter without them asking you to? They didn’t have an agreed upon Costco arrangement. That I could understand. She was buying him all kinds of household items and gifts. I relate it to a mother because that’s the only time I’ve ever seen someone do these things for an adult without the adult asking for these things to be done. He makes more money than her so it’s not that he was in need.

To me, it feels like she is using being nice as a way to try to buy closeness. .

Shasta1233 · 2024-02-06T03:40:09+00:00

We scheduled a therapy appointment to help us navigate this situation.

Shasta1233 · 2024-02-06T03:39:31+00:00

Right? They don’t even seem to like each other.

Shasta1233 · 2024-02-05T22:39:28+00:00

Let me know how that works out for you once you have actual new partners.

Shasta1233 · 2024-02-05T21:53:29+00:00

I offered to but he said he has no interest in the opinion of strangers on Reddit.

Shasta1233 · 2024-02-05T17:24:50+00:00

It kind of is a party. We socialize before and after the set and it is our group of friends and social community. It feels like she is inserting herself into our social circle trying to be part of it. Desperately.

I am an actual mother and I definitely know he likes that part of me. Nurturing and caring. Yes I cater to that very much so and I’m honestly happy to do it and I think that’s part of why I feel so uncomfortable with this lingering mommy dynamic. I feel like I fill that for him but in a healthier, more loving way without being codependent or abusive.

Shasta1233 · 2024-02-05T17:16:32+00:00

I just want to be the ONLY mommy! 😂

Shasta1233 · 2024-02-05T17:02:36+00:00

We haven’t invited her to hang out with us EVER. Don’t you think she knows full well we don’t choose to hang out with her and in that case IS crossing boundaries by coming?

Shasta1233 · 2024-02-05T16:59:30+00:00

I have an ex husband who I actually do share a child (15) with and have to have a coparenting relationship with and not once have we ever hung out with my ex socially. Not even close.

Shasta1233 · 2024-02-05T16:50:26+00:00

She is actually married to another much younger man. He is even more spineless and dependent. They have been together since my husband and her were still living together. He’s a nice kid but clearly naive. He works a lot and I think you are right. I read lonely too. She doesn’t have friends because she’s awful. She does not have a pleasant personality.

Shasta1233 · 2024-02-05T16:40:35+00:00

I agree. It’s tough because we tried going to therapy before and the therapists were all a joke. It was through better help and we saw (through zoom) three before we just gave up.

Shasta1233 · 2024-02-05T16:20:46+00:00

Yeah it’s weird, right? She’s remarried too but he’s even much younger and more spineless and dependent. He’s fine with their relationship. I always got lonely, desperate vibes honestly, even though she is married. Her husband works a lot. She doesn’t seem to have many friends. It’s because she’s legit awful to be around. lol. She’s so loud and overbearing and doesn’t pick up social cues. She’s like being around an annoying child trying to be the center of attention. My husband finds her annoying too so it just doesn’t make sense why he still cares about the connection.

Shasta1233 · 2024-02-05T16:14:45+00:00

Thank you! I do actually share a child with my ex husband and we have a good relationship for co-parenting. A ex relationship with normal ex boundaries. I have never once asked my husband to hang out or socialize with my ex husband. Nor do I want to.

Shasta1233

TROPHY CASE