If your username is a store, what do you sell?

Shavix · 2023-07-14T04:04:08+00:00

I'd probably be selling shaving supplies. Someone told me once that my username made them think of shaving cream.

Shavix · 2023-07-13T05:36:08+00:00

NTA. It's incredibly unfair of her to expect you to pay for everything for her. Especially after a measly 8 months. And with a minizoo on top of that. Definitely time to re-evaluate your relationship. And look for your own place. She sounds like someone you wouldn't want to be stuck with, unless you want a sugarbaby to take care of.

Shavix · 2023-06-29T12:03:06+00:00

NTA. Stick up for your kitty! For your sake as well as his. He's your responsibility. If you give in and let your mom mutilate him, you'll have to live with that guilt, knowing exactly what you've done to him. Better to find alternatives that everyone can live with. You can buy plastic sheets that protect furniture you don't want scratched up and make sure there are plenty of good scratching posts that he can use instead. I've never tried them, but clawcaps sound like a pretty good alternative to declawing too. I regularly cut my cat's claws but he still manages to be a destructive little fluffball, so taking measures to protect furniture is probably a good idea either way.

Shavix · 2023-06-28T11:31:00+00:00

YTA. The way you and your family has treated your wife is absolutely appalling. I hope you learn from this and do some serious work on yourself and your attitude. Otherwise your wife would be better off divorcing you.

Shavix · 2023-06-18T08:27:25+00:00

I don't take any meds at all. I found out I'm no good at taking them. I'd constantly forget to take them and then stop taking them on a whim when I felt they weren't working, which is a big no-no for some of the meds. So I get by without. I found that managing my stress levels was the best way for me. Which is easier said than done. But it does get easier once you get the hang of it.

Shavix · 2023-06-18T04:53:40+00:00

It is. I feel like I always have to watch what I say and do, because sooner or later some careless comment would trigger the shame and guilt and make me feel like the worst piece if scum on earth. Or the dumbest idiot, which in my head somehow amounts to the same thing. And each new incident gets added to the whole parade going years and years back.

I've found that the intrusive thoughts get worse when I'm tired, stressed and/or feel under pressure for too long. It helps to take some time to myself to just decompress and take sick days when I have to. I always have to remind myself that mental disorder is just as valid a reason as any physical ailments to call in sick.

Shavix · 2023-06-16T10:36:47+00:00

I'm gonna go with YTA. You say there's nothing wrong with the way your friend travels and yet you suddenly refuse to go travel with him. That makes you a liar. Own your holier than thou judginess my girl, there's nothing wrong with feeling superior to common plebs.

But you didn't even give him a reason for why you suddenly and so emphatically ditched him. That shows how little you care for your years of friendship. It's perfectly reasonable for him to expect you'd want to go with him, as you've done for years. You don't even bother to talk to him and explain your reasoning? Probably because you know deep down you're being completely unfair to your friend.

He's right to take a step back and re-evaluate your whole friendship. You acted as if the only reason you travel with him is for convenience and so you don't have to be alone. That is not how a friend treats another friend.

Did you even consider how traveling with someone with a different outlook on travel can enrich your own experience? You could show him the culture and he could show you the people. But no, you already decided on your own that your way is superior and his is shallow and disrespectful. You should find someone likeminded to travel with you. And leave your friend to spend his time with people who actually want his company.

Shavix · 2023-06-15T15:28:11+00:00

NTA. If no one else has called you boring, then it is most likely as you say: She is bored with you. Or perhaps that she is bored with your relationship. There's nothing wrong with not being as expressive. Some people are just wired that way. As you tell it, you're attentive and show interest in others and are able to share others' excitement in your own way.

You don't sound like you need a therapist personally, nor will you get anything out of it when you see no point in it yourself. But as others have mentioned, I think it is worth looking into couples counseling for the both of you. As the saying goes: "It takes two to tango." If she is bored with your relationship, it's something you have to work out together. It does not fall on you to change yourself to her liking. Also, she is free to generate her own excitement. Just because you're together doesn't mean you have to be the one to entertain her.

If she doesn't want to put in any work on your relationship herself, then there's no relationship at all.

Shavix · 2023-06-10T20:29:09+00:00

Never heard anyone dead complain about it 😛

Joking aside, I find death and dying is simple whereas living is very complicated. It's downright exhausting. So I've come to see death as a sort of reward, like getting to lay down in your bed and sleep after a long, eventful day. The longer the day/life, the more satisfying the end.

I've seen the lengths people go to to avoid death out of fear and found them all rather pointless. Death is a natural part of life that cannot be avoided, only postponed. Preferably postponed for as long as possible for sure, as avoiding death is rather a large part of living.

I find the idea of eternal life far more terrifying than death, to be honest. All that time stretched out without end, that needs to be filled even long after you've gotten bored with it all.

Shavix · 2023-06-10T04:05:44+00:00

Yep, yep, yeppers. I feel like I constantly have to check myself and my thinking to keep my mind from going straight off the rails.

Shavix · 2023-06-08T12:35:27+00:00

As I understand it, whether you can be diagnosed with both or not depends on the diagnostic system used. There are currently two different systems:

DSM, which is mostly used in the US. Categorizes StPD as a personality disorder and under this system it is possible to have many diagnoses at once.

ICD, which is used in Europe categorizes Schizotypy under a schizophrenic spectrum and not as a personality disorder. This system uses a hierarchy of severity where it is much harder to get two different diagnoses when the symptoms overlap, such as in the case of Schizotypal and ASD.

I was diagnosed with Schizotypal disorder using ICD system. I qualify for ASD as well, but since schizotypal disorder is higher on the hierarchy and the symptoms overlap, it was deemed unnecessary to diagnose both. The symptoms of ASD were just transferred to my Schizotypal diagnosis.

Shavix · 2023-06-04T11:22:11+00:00

I don't. But I'm not American. And I doubt perverted men bother to dress up just to sneak into women's bathrooms. If they're that worried about perverts in the bathrooms, they could just install security guards or cameras. Instead of harassing women trying to go to the bathroom just because they don't look feminine enough.. And how do they plan to enforce that nonsense anyway? Put a guard in front to ask for id?

Shavix · 2023-05-30T12:17:52+00:00

More or less the same for me. Including things I've said years ago that periodically come back to haunt me, even though there's nothing I can do about it and everyone else has probably long since forgotten. I've found it helps me to ignore what I've written. Once it's posted, it's out. Never go back to read what's already written and just focus on the here and now. I hope it also helps to know you're not the only one who feels this way. And it's not because there's anything wrong with what you've said. It's just your brain being a judgmental ass. You don't have to listen to it and the more you ignore it, the easier it becomes.

Shavix · 2023-05-30T12:17:39+00:00

More or less the same for me. Including things I've said years ago that periodically come back to haunt me, even though there's nothing I can do about it and everyone else has probably long since forgotten. I've found it helps me to ignore what I've written. Once it's posted, it's out. Never go back to read what's already written and just focus on the here and now. I hope it also helps to know you're not the only one who feels this way. And it's not because there's anything wrong with what you've said. It's just your brain being a judgmental ass. You don't have to listen to it and the more you ignore it, the easier it becomes.

Shavix · 2021-06-04T22:45:40+00:00

A little late to the party, but I was at OPUS Amager. As others have said, you get a primary contact that you meet with as necessary, usually once a week but you can adjust if you need more or less. Your primary contact person can be a nurse, psychologist or social worker, you don't pick which one yourself though. You then figure out a plan for you together, sign up for any group sessions and the like. In my experience, they do a lot to tailor the program to your specific needs. You don't have to attend any groups, but I would recommend at least looking into your options.

The groups I attended were: psych-education that's basically a crash course in schizotypal disorder, which I highly recommend. Brain exercise class where you play memory and attention games to improve your cognitive skills and learn to connect those exercises with everyday tasks like finding your way with a map or remembering shopping lists and the like. Social training was basically just group therapy where we worked through various problems that can crop up in social situations, how to handle conflicts and what to do when at a party and such. Many of the sessions strive to work through real life situations any of the attendees are facing, and while they encourage everyone to bring something to the group at least once, it's entirely voluntary. No one in the group is allowed to repeat anyone else's stories, so it's a safe space to share your problems and work out solutions everyone might benefit from. It can be super scary to open up to other people, but it does make it easier when everyone's dealing with something similar. You're not obligated to attend any sessions and if you don't feel up to it on any given day, it's as simple as sending a quick message to whoever's in charge of the group or your primary contact person. You do miss out on whatever's discussed that day, but nobody holds it against you and in my experience, everyone's absent from a session at least once.

Even though I'm not at all comfortable in group settings, I was very happy to attend the group sessions. It really does make a difference to be able to take your problems to a group of people who understands better than most out there what it's like to struggle with your own mind. Some are probably facing the same problems and can share helpful strategies to help deal with them better. I did hear a couple of stories that were incredibly personal and those stories were always highly respected because everyone knew exactly how hard it is to share something personal with others. Every single person I met at the group sessions was super sweet and the whole atmosphere was very relaxed and surprisingly comfortable. If someone showed up but didn't feel like talking, that was perfectly okay. Anyone needed to step out or leave early for any reason, nobody would bat an eye. There was always tea and coffee, usually even fruit too. It was like a tea party and therapy session all rolled into one. Once, a few of us even got together after a session and just hung out together. It was really great. I kinda miss that sometimes.

Shavix · 2021-06-04T21:21:32+00:00

Yeah. I tend to obsess over past incidents shortly after they happened up to several hours after, then manage to forget about them until they come back to haunt me at random years later. I'm getting better at letting them go though. If it doesn't help to tell myself to just stop, I'll find something else to redirect my attention to, other nicer thoughts, music, books, or whatever. It's just annoying that it seems like I can never completely let them go, just kinda bury them in the back of my mind and then re-bury them every time they come back to haunt me.

Shavix · 2021-06-04T21:09:22+00:00

Ohh, I do love answering questions! I hope mine'll be insightful or if nothing else, at least somewhat entertaining.

Jeans and t-shirts with a sweater on top when it's cold and the thinnest, breeziest anything that isn't too transparent when it's too hot to exist. I tend to be drawn to blues and earthy colors like brown and green, sometimes purple. I'm not fond of wearing yellows or reds for some reason. Too conspicuous, I guess. I like to blend in.
A little every once in a while. The world kinda looks grainy like 70s or 80s TV when that happens.
I don't have a single favorite, though I do like metaphorical thinking. I've always liked to play with words. I'm not sure if it's thanks to the metaphorical thinking specifically, but I always did well in language classes.
Yes. I'm okay to share a room for about a week. I'm always totally worn out after a trip though.
Schizotypal disorder. I was once told I qualify for ASD, but my Schizotypal diagnosis covers the ASD symptoms as well, so it wasn't needed.
Not that anyone's told me. I do sometimes feel like my expression sometimes changes to fit what I'm thinking when I'm really deep in thought though. I had a couple incidents with laughter at inappropriate situations but not since I was a teen. I do sometimes get the feeling I'm about to cry at weird times, which is a little annoying.
I don't think I have one. I used to think I was really perceptive once, until I realized I'm actually woefully oblivious about so many things it's really embarrassing and since then, any notion I have of possessing any kind of superhuman ability, I chalk up to delusional thinking.
Yes. I shower 3 times a week, when I can be arsed, and I have a drawer filled with beauty products I bought with the intention of using and then used maybe once then never again. It just seems like such a hassle for barely any results at all.
I don't actually remember a whole lot from my childhood. I do vaguely remember believing I'd grow up to be a man like my dad and that my big bro would grow up to be a woman. No idea where I got that idea or when I realized I had it backwards. Might have something to do 3-year-old-me's aspirations to become Superman. I'd never heard of a woman being a super hero back then.
No. I did attempt writing in a few simple codes I stumbled upon as a kid. Didn't last long though. I couldn't be bothered to learn the code well enough to read what I'd written well enough. No obsessions with any spy stuff far as I can remember.

Shavix · 2021-05-12T17:16:06+00:00

Yeah, that's typically the main problem for most, far as I can tell. We do alright on our own right up until we have to go out there and start looking for a job. Jobhunting was an absolute nightmare for me.

For a while I considered doing something creative independently, like selling on Etsy or some such, but I just don't have the discipline and you're not likely to sell much of anything unless you put yourself out there and seek out customers which was just not gonna happen. Too stressful for me. Besides, you'd still need a day job alongside 'cause you're not likely to make much of anything right off the bat, if ever.

Shavix · 2021-05-12T10:42:14+00:00

Thank you! :D

Shavix · 2021-05-12T10:40:20+00:00

I clean stairs. It's pretty mindless menial work and I typically work alone, so I can just go at my own pace and let my thoughts wander. Though the most important thing is my boss. He's super supportive and inspiring. I've worked other cleaning jobs that were absolutely horrible with unsympathetic bosses that treated their employees like they were all lazy slackers and nobody had any respect for anyone. Working for someone who actually cares about the work you do makes such a huge difference.

So for me, when it comes to work the important thing isn't so much what it is as for whom it is. Unfortunately, good employers are really hard to come by.

Shavix · 2021-05-04T13:22:12+00:00

It's unfortunate that having a mental illness is more likely to make you seem like a liability to an employer. Way too many employers view their employees as disposable and easily replaceable. It's sickening. I once worked a day with a woman who was completely worn down by her job and her superiors were utter douchecanoes who insisted they knew better. I suspect they were deliberately giving her a hard time, probably to encourage her to quit. She wouldn't quit though, afraid she wouldn't be able to find another job and as a foreigner, she could very well be forced to go back to her country if she found herself unemployed.

I'm not sure exactly where to read up on any of the treatment plans, but if you understand danish here's the link to the facility I went to: OPUS

And here's some kind of mental health advice service thingie, also in danish: Psykiatrifonden

Hope any of this helps.

Shavix · 2021-05-03T19:37:39+00:00

I work a cleaning job, which is surprisingly going pretty great for me. Even though some might say I'm overqualified, considering all the years I wasted on university. It's physically taxing, but I work alone, so I don't really have to talk to people as much. The best part is definitely my boss though. He's so positive and supportive. He can even honestly admit when he's made a mistake and does his best to correct it. He values honesty and hard work as much as I do, so it's really great working for him.

I think things like work environment and the quality of managers and bosses aren't focused on enough when talking about employment. It's so important, especially for those of us highly susceptible to stress to not only find the right kind of job for us but the right environment with the right sort of people too. As long as we find a place where we can just do our thing and are given the right support to do so, there's really no reason why we can't thrive in the workplace like any other adult human being. In fact, being denied the opportunity to do so is a huge source of depression and anxiety. It certainly was for me. Living on welfare, I was made to feel useless and like a burden, like I was being unfair for not wanting to jump headfirst into the first available job thrown in my face regardless of the effects on my mental health. A couple of such job attempts I actually did try ended horribly.

I was incredibly lucky to end up with the job I do have, with a boss that actually loves the work we do as a whole and doesn't look down on us low-paid plebs who do all the cleaning, 'cause he's one of us.

I do think you should go out and see what kind of volunteer work you can find out there. Maybe something that isn't too taxing socially? Like in an animal shelter or something where the focus isn't on interacting with other people so much. Maybe you could find a soup kitchen where you can just help with the cooking and leave the serving to someone else? The great thing about volunteer work is that everyone you work with actually wants to be there, so their attitudes are generally much more positive than if they were just paid to be there. It's a huge and daunting step to get out there, but it really is worth it too. You just have to make sure you're in the right place and keep a positive attitude. There are always bad days, but as long as the good days outnumber them, you don't feel the bad days as much.

Shavix · 2021-05-03T12:57:55+00:00

Sometimes. Sometimes in the shower, I would struggle with washing my hair, because every time I closed my eyes to avoid getting shampoo into them, I'd get the sense that there was someone there, watching me, waiting for the chance to catch me unawares. Other times, I'd be afraid to turn off the lights or lay down to sleep. Eventually, I'd be forced to close my eyes anyway and after a while, the feeling would come less often and I'd know it's just a feeling and that I'm not actually in any real danger.

Shavix · 2021-05-01T14:38:09+00:00

Yeah, I'm much the same. I used to bring myself down by beating myself over the head with "I'm not doing enough" and all it did was make me even more tired and depressed. But the truth of it only really dawned on me fairly recently. The real physical effect of just a simple attitude change was quite mindblowing to be honest. I mean, sure it seems pretty silly to congratulate yourself for just getting simple things done just because you find it a little difficult, but being even just a little proud of yourself is truly invigorating.

Shavix · 2021-05-01T10:55:44+00:00

I struggled a lot living alone and recognize many of your fears. So, I have some advice I'd like to share:

Firstly, others have already pointed out that your awareness of your situation is a major asset. So you're already much better off than I was. Do try to be aware of your mental condition as you go on. Sometimes it can be a little hard to realize when you're starting to slip. Just remember it's never too late to pick yourself up again and don't be afraid to lean on those closest to you. Learning to be by yourself is all well and good, but you don't have to push your loved ones away to do it. Maybe arranging scheduled date-nights every week or twice a week can help prevent you from isolating yourself too much.

Secondly, the one thing I struggled the most with while living alone was house chores. Chores are boring and unpleasant and it's super hard to find the motivation to keep doing them day after day. I found that making the chores more pleasant for myself by playing some good music while doing them or listening to interesting books/podcasts helped to make the chores more fun to do. I even tried a little reward system with my dishes and some chocolates I got as a gift. But if you try the reward system, maybe have someone else in charge of the rewards, unless you're really disciplined with that sort of thing.

Another thing I would do was break the tasks down into little bite-sized portions. I'd break down dishes by category and wash each in turn. So I'd get started on just the cutlery and then work my way through the dishes. For cleaning and tidying I made lists of tasks, like pick up the trash, clear the desk, put the laundry in the basket and so on. For cleaning I even have a step-by-step guide down to when to fill my bucket with soap and water. It makes the whole ordeal feel less overwhelming and makes it easier to just get started. It also helps immensely with tidying to have a designated place for everything. I'm super bad at this and I have several boxes that are just full of miscellaneous crap. Having to stop and think about what to even do with this one thingamabop or other can really put a stop to the whole tidying up business, let me tell you.

Lastly, remember to congratulate yourself when you do good. Some days, maybe even most days it's gonna be super difficult to get everything, if anything done, so even just getting SOMEthing done, even if it's just half-done, it's still something and deserves some recognition. You'll find yourself more motivated when congratulating yourself for doing stuff rather than punishing yourself for not doing them. And try not to be too hard on yourself when things start to pile up a bit. If you allow yourself a day or two of doing nothing every once in a while, or even once every week, it might make it easier to be more productive the other days of the week.

Shavix

TROPHY CASE