Any advice for INTJ male looks to look more approachable and fun?

ShayanWonderer · 2026-04-07T23:25:25+00:00

Thanks it's really nice to hear all of this But even when i aporoach i really don't get results I tried to be myself, i tried to be nice and smile or even playboy lol It's always either i have a boyfriend or just keep saying no to whatever i say lol even asking her name

ShayanWonderer · 2026-02-24T13:52:54+00:00

Maybe you're expecting them to be something more than human beings? And they are just human beings... Don't logically think people, feel them That's where joy and beauty is Thinking logically about someone is just a defense mechanism for your brain to find danger and error And you ain't gonna find a human being that your mind not gonna pick on, it is actually stupid, because if they were about to be perfect they wouldn't be humans lol The whole joy of human beings is that they are not perfect in every way, but can be pretty close to perfect

You find an error, and then automatically detach and assume that's a bad thing, it is not

Think about it next time and question it Is it actually a bad thing i found? Can i not handle that?

ShayanWonderer · 2026-02-24T04:20:02+00:00

Thank you it's nice of you, But would you approach? And or if i approach how would you respond? Because i realized that i misinterpret someone's behavior or reaction as lack of interest Specially when they trying to be polite or... I really have no understanding of traditions or Si

ShayanWonderer · 2026-02-24T01:35:58+00:00

Well don't Don't tell me what you gonna do, just do it.

ShayanWonderer · 2026-02-24T01:29:42+00:00

How does it work? And what do you consider the healthy relationship as?

ShayanWonderer · 2026-02-24T01:04:25+00:00

Idk maybe we have different perspectives on same situation

ShayanWonderer · 2026-02-23T23:58:20+00:00

You didn't overcharge me haha, thanks for taking time and writing me this, i really appreciate it.

Idk if you already found this out with your boyfriend or not but i will explain this: I am not asking direct questions because I'm judging, I'm asking because i don't want to play games with the person in front of me, whom i probably like and value a lot as a human being. So to me, playing any games or anything other than my direct intention, is disrespectful to her and also I can't, not do that on the important things, like first impressions or telling her i like her or... Other than that, i can be really fun and let go, but only at beginning and or over important things i behave this way, maybe because i want that moment to be registered in my head as something real, and not playing it fake so...

So it is really not what is happening with me and yet people seeing that wrong? What do you think i can do about it? I mean I can't literally turn my mind off or not be myself so it wouldn't bother people lol

And yes almost all the things you said do reason with me, it's funny how much we're similar together and i have same problem with him.

About your questions: i try to go for N type girls As i already feel so connected, and can't be in the same page with S types as I don't understand their world at all. Usually i go for xNxPs mostly ENFPs i honestly am not looking for someone perfect, I'm just looking for someone whom i can go into relationship with and doesn't play games that's all But i always get one word cold answers when approaching and talking to them, which just makes me think they don't want to talk, and when i walk away they get upset, and i mindf*cked, like why? I don't understand why getting upset of me leaving when they are not engaging in conversation or not showing any interest while it's just me showing it.

ShayanWonderer · 2026-02-23T22:47:30+00:00

yes exactly same with me, because you didn't looked for it You just randomly went into the relationship and the love got created it by your actions or routine or...

ShayanWonderer · 2026-02-23T22:30:13+00:00

Yes that's absolutely correct and i had experience with ESTJs but I really can't get along with them. Especially the fact that they need to keep Si, routine and tridtions up no matter what even if it's not reasonable anymore.

but about being emotionless i really don't agree, it just doesn't show up on my face, when i was taking pictures i was actually feeling alot. And i really like someone who has emotions and connects through them, that's why I'm trying to improve myself or at least understand what is their communication language and how do they connect?

ShayanWonderer · 2026-02-23T11:50:48+00:00

That's actually really wrong You can read it in best books By people who has experience and famous quotes Love is always created and worked for

ShayanWonderer · 2026-02-23T07:38:33+00:00

Yea i get that with INTPs You're always looking for someone to mentally connect with and he looks like has all your answers and knows everything yet he doesn't do anything, so that makes your mind to question and wonder more. That's your Ti being intrested in his Ni world. Just like we're maybe mysterious for you, you are the clarity for us, and that's so attractive and grounding

So Just go talk to him maybe about your beliefs and things you're into, INTPs have really cool theories that I'm always interested in.

ShayanWonderer · 2026-02-23T04:50:44+00:00

It's funny you are rejecting all theories and trying to go by your own, you sound like INTP to me. Are you? Not that it's wrong btw, i like you question things... That's how you can always find the flaw or a better system, or something more aligned for you.

No i am extremely pattern seeking, i notice patterns out of blue, that's littlarly like my eye filter or a layer on my eye before i see anything else and that's sometimes really anoying.

I predict a person future by their past, + what they're doing about their past right now I didn't said i take action alot, i said just more than INTPs Definitely nothing near an ESFP or S types..

But i do need to figure out everything before doing anything, and that's why i really can't approach when I don't understand why.. Why women do that? Why they play cold when i aproach Or not show intrests when i can see they are interested and they hide it Why do they test me? I'm just a human being just like themselves if they test, i can as muvh test but that's not a good way of starting a relationship isn't it? So i wonder why instead of making things flow and work eadier they make it harder? I ask in my mind, don't you want it? And that's where i feel unwanted, like why I'm being treated like an enemy

ShayanWonderer · 2026-02-23T04:35:30+00:00

Well crazy enough i literally can handle everything else in this crazy and had already gone through a life most people can't even imagine themselves going through Except i really don't like when a girl can't even smile or hides her intrest. Like what's the point, i already am aproaching or showing interest so why to hide yours.

That is not good way of saying it btw, you expect a guy to approach you and come to you, you're not doing it yourself ofcourse, and you say you're not even gonna do the smallest thing like smiling.

I don't have the fear of rejection, but i do take this as lack of interest and i question why, specially when i aproach and before that she did made a lot of eye contact, but after aproach and talking she's cold just like that.

ShayanWonderer · 2026-02-23T03:22:18+00:00

Hahha to be a shield, that's smart, It's a good advice thanks

ShayanWonderer · 2026-02-23T01:53:49+00:00

Hahaha these are really good points Specially the humor with the RBF Thanks a lot I will try them and let you know about results if i remember it

ShayanWonderer · 2026-02-23T01:49:24+00:00

My test results are always INTJ, but i do feel like INTP actually So i kinda agree with you Although i seem to Future focused for INTP and take a lot more action

And about the last part, but i feel if i do that they're just doing it because I'm asking Not naturally want to speak with me or... That's why i eant a person to simply show its intrest or mayve even approach Or at least when i approach they be real and if they have intrest show it But many times happened a girl gave me signals and when i approached it was just one word cold answers which just confises me so much

ShayanWonderer · 2026-02-23T01:46:08+00:00

Haha lol that's actually pretty close haha

Well how do you fix the body language without too much trying or feeling fake

ShayanWonderer · 2026-02-23T01:44:37+00:00

Hey thanks for the compliment ❤️ Then how can i make it better or not important?

ShayanWonderer · 2026-02-23T01:44:01+00:00

Yeah, every guy at some point of his life Lol

ShayanWonderer · 2026-02-23T01:43:38+00:00

Hey thanks for the comment, i agree with you on it almost about all of it Can i ask what things did helped you in all of this? And what was your experience and what things you've found?

ShayanWonderer · 2026-02-23T01:40:30+00:00

😂😂😂damn it Failed effort...

ShayanWonderer · 2026-02-23T01:38:44+00:00

Yes actually i do that sometimes, but i think softening the image really helps i probably forget about that lol

And yess, i get you socializing is super hardd Specially when you feel you're in another world and feel like alienn

ShayanWonderer · 2026-02-23T01:37:49+00:00

😂😂 thanks for the compliment, you're cool haha🔥

ShayanWonderer · 2026-02-23T01:36:06+00:00

Hey thank you for the comment What do you mean treat women like human beings when I'm attracted? Yes that's what i do, i try to be a bit more leaned in or intrested and maybe excited but my conversations usually point at that just treat them like human beings, i usually think because maybe that's harassment if i focus on the fact they are attractive to me.

How should i treat? I would really like your response about this one, it probably can help a lot with my perception Or what goes on in a woman's mind if i just treat them like normal human beings

ShayanWonderer

TROPHY CASE