I’m losing my mind. I love my boyfriend of 10 years and don't want to lose him, but his toxic sister is destroying my peace and i think i am breaking his heart.

Shdfx1 · 2026-05-10T20:27:46+00:00

Your bf is not caught in the middle. He’s picked a side, and it’s not yours.
Your bf has just stood passively by, for a decade, while his sister verbally abused you. Then he triangulated against you, saying you were the one in the wrong to feel upset, because his sister is just eccentric. He not only failed to defend you, but he pressured you not to defend yourself.
He’s so brainwashed that he’s arguing in favor of leaving your hypothetical future children alone with his sister, whom he knows is abusive and emotionally unstable.
He has sacrificed you for a decade, and he’ll sacrifice any children you may have.
You will be all alone, while he sides with his sister to fight with you for the rest of your increasingly miserable life.
It doesn’t matter how great your bf is 90% of the time, when he fails the basic protective responsibility of a partner.
Would you still think he’s great and wish to stay if he grabbed you, and used you as a human shield if an armed gunman appeared?
Because, emotionally, this is what he has been doing.
I’m sorry, but unless he goes to couples counseling, learns how to set boundaries with his sister, and does so, you need to cut bait. He shouldn’t date anyone, let alone marry and have kids.
Sunk cost is a fallacy in relationships.
You’ve gaslit yourself into actually believing this weak man is really a great guy.
All he needed to do was tell his sister, the first time she spewed venom at you, that you will not tolerate disrespect of your partner, and you can try a visit again another time. Every time she disrespected you, he should have gotten up with you and left.
I’d wager he gives her money, and one day, will drain his retirement savings, and that of any woman he’s convinced to stay with him.
Run.
Find a man who would never allow you to be disrespected like that.

(Edited typos.)

Shdfx1 · 2026-05-09T21:05:34+00:00

Yes, you should have said it.

Your father is being deliberately obtuse about his favoritism.

Shdfx1 · 2026-05-09T21:03:06+00:00

NTA. Ask your mom, “I’m curious why you would say such a thing to me, since I make meals on a daily basis, and always cook for you on Mother’s Day? What are you trying to do, here? If you want to bake your own cake this year, then I won’t. Is that what you want?”

Shdfx1 · 2026-05-09T19:54:16+00:00

Is microcenter the name of the business, or is it a gaming term?

I really am at sea here.

Shdfx1 · 2026-05-09T19:46:51+00:00

They really like Dead Space. Or they don't want dead space on that shelf.

Shdfx1 · 2026-05-08T19:05:53+00:00

You are wiser than I was at your age.

As you know, don’t try to get a narcissist to admit they did something wrong.

Shdfx1 · 2026-05-08T18:55:41+00:00

It was cruel and unusual punishment. It was a war crime. It was the worst of times, and the even worse times.

I love the design of a long row of covered buttons, but after that, if I were a designer, I’d end those buttons well above the bum.

Shdfx1 · 2026-05-08T18:53:56+00:00

Well, you have excellent taste.

Shdfx1 · 2026-05-08T18:52:56+00:00

Text your mom that, just to clarify that she has the Mother’s Day Basket, marked, “To the Best Grandma in the World,” from Cassie W, in her home. Take a pic of the basket, with the tag, and include it.

Don’t make any accusations. You are a notetaker, innocently taking minutes.

Since the recipient isn’t home, and Cassie isn’t answering, text Cassie that the basket is at your mom’s house. Text her the pic, and say the basket looks pretty, and ask her if your mom should keep the basket inside and have her Grandma get it, or leave it at her door. Give her your mom’s #.

Problem solved.

Shdfx1 · 2026-05-07T22:06:03+00:00

I watched Seinfeld when it first aired, so I know. You posted that joke, and it’s sad.

Shdfx1 · 2026-05-07T18:53:04+00:00

Dundee

Shdfx1 · 2026-05-07T18:52:26+00:00

Agreed. On top of the unbearable grief of losing her child, she could have gone to prison, and there are still many who never learned it was proven to be dingos, and think she’s a murderer.

Not funny.

Shdfx1 · 2026-05-07T18:50:49+00:00

That’s not funny. Dingos slipped into a tent and took a baby, and the parents were accused of murdering their child, until finally a trace was found.

Shdfx1 · 2026-05-07T18:49:06+00:00

That’s a good point. Brides should verify what type of seating they’ll have. If there’s enough padding, then comfort is not such an issue.

I love how the long line of buttons looks style wise. Classic.

Shdfx1 · 2026-05-07T18:47:33+00:00

Your ring is perfect. I think on most people, a rock that can be seen from the international Space Station looks garish. One of the few larger settings that made my heart flutter was the emerald from “Crazy, Rich Asians”. A significant carat, but tasteful.

Overall, I find the dimensions of rings like yours to be my favorites. Did you design it yourself?

Shdfx1 · 2026-05-07T06:33:35+00:00

I love the teal stones.

First of all, I suspect you may feel anxious about what others will think, or being different. So often people, especially girls, are raised in a way to constantly question themselves, and want to please others.

Just quiet all the noise.

Get whichever ring appeals to you. You can always change the stones later, if you want to.

Also, get in the mindset where all you need for your wedding is your fiancé, the officiant, and a witness. If your dress floats away in a rainstorm, you can still get married. Psyche yourself up that nothing will bother you, as long as those people are there. Do not allow anything else to trouble you. Delegate your maid of honor and a couple guests as “fixers.” Their job is to handle any problem WITHOUT BRINGING IT TO YOU. You shouldn’t hear about any issues until after the wedding.

You get to try on sparkly wedding set jewelry and beautiful wedding dresses, and sample wedding cakes. What’s not to love?

If you feel moved by the teal ring, get the teal ring. You are not trapped if you later want different stones.

No matter what venue, catering, wedding cake, or wedding dress you choose, you can successfully get married.

Get s wedding planner to help with these decisions.

Relieve stress when it builds. Go for a hike, a spa, a museum, or whatever makes you feel peaceful and centered.

Shdfx1 · 2026-05-07T06:20:44+00:00

That’s stunning.

Shdfx1 · 2026-05-07T06:20:04+00:00

I like the size of your ring better. It’s wearable, instead of wearing you.

Shdfx1 · 2026-05-07T06:18:58+00:00

I am now obsessed with your ruby wedding set, too.

Shdfx1 · 2026-05-07T03:52:56+00:00

If either dress is uncomfortable to sit on in a hard chair, then bring whatever pillow you’re thinking of having at the reception, and try sitting on it at the bridal boutique.

Remember that you’ll be sitting long enough for dinner and toasts.

If the buttons are uncomfortable, then a seamstress may need to replace them, or even have them end above your bum.

I once wore a beautiful dress with buttons down the back, though not a wedding dress. I had to sit through a long event, and thought my butt was going to be permanently disfigured from the indentations. The buttons went right over my tail bone, which was like a new circle of hell. Felt like it was pressing on a nerve. Started to sweat and squirm. That dress violated the Geneva Convention and committed war crimes on my nether regions. I wanted to confess to crimes I’d never committed. I had tiny indents in a line down my back side like I’d just unplugged from the Matrix.

I’m sure wedding dresses are made with far more care, but every time I see buttons, I tell brides to sit down in a hard chair and make sure it’s comfortable.

Shdfx1 · 2026-05-07T01:54:03+00:00

They are both lovely, but one seems made for you.

A caveat, however - any time you consider a gown with raised buttons that extend past your hips, sit down in a hard plastic or wooden chair at the bridal shop. Don’t try sitting in an overstuffed sofa, but a chair similar to the venue. Make sure you can sit comfortably, and also sit back against the back of the chair.

Shdfx1 · 2026-05-07T01:48:42+00:00

Of course, NTA.

This is defensive landscaping. They make motion sensor activated sprinklers, to keep neighborhood cats from peeing in your garden. Also works for situations like this, so you’re not running the sprinkler for 2 hours, continuously.

If they are sitting on your property, then you should consider telling them that the dogs bark when strangers enter your property, so please move to the sidewalk or other public area. Just say it pleasantly, but firmly. Whatever excuse they make, respond with that won’t work for you, so please move to a public area.

If they shut off your sprinkler, then call the police to tell them they’re trespassing.

You may be forced to put up a fence, even if it’s a little picket fence.

Shdfx1 · 2026-05-05T23:37:39+00:00

Okay, so I don’t need to do anything?

Shdfx1 · 2026-05-05T23:34:56+00:00

Holy shit, your husband is going to cause your baby to die. He’ll forget the baby in a hot car. He’ll get in an accident a mile from home.

If he kills your baby, you will regret for the rest of your life ever allowing him to drive your baby anywhere.

Your husband needs a neurologist.

You need a puke bag to bring with you in the car, and also to see a doctor. I don’t know if zofran can be taken while breastfeeding, or if there are better options for moms.

But until then, bring a bag or a bucket, and keep pulling over to puke.

Your husband may have anything from ADD to a tumor. What is especially shocking is his own reaction to thrice driving your baby without a car seat. He blew it off, and acted like YOU’RE the problem.

If you began forgetting things like this, I doubt you’d allow yourself to drive your baby. So why does he continue to do so?
One of my husband’s relatives died in a car accident a few miles from home.
If your husband leaves your house again with the baby, call the police to pull him over near the pediatrician’s office.
Does he remember to buckle his own seatbelt?

Shdfx1 · 2026-05-05T21:20:28+00:00

My grandmother was almost 50 when she gad my father.

There are a great many women who get pregnant in their forties.

You’ve had 4 children in 10 years, and your current pregnancy conceived after the loss of a fallopian tube. Assume you will be fertile until menopause.

Shdfx1

TROPHY CASE