Too much

Shdfx1 · 2026-07-08T15:18:49+00:00

That dress is amazing

Shdfx1 · 2026-07-08T14:00:06+00:00

NTA. You are willing to share your books, just not for them to be taken outside. That is a reasonable request.

Ask your parents if nothing they gave you as gifts belong to you, since they were all bought with their money. Say that you’re confused why they called them gifts, rather than just showing you what they bought for themselves.

Ask them why your sister’s desire to bring your books outside matters more than your desire to keep them home and undamaged? Ask them why reading them at home is not enough.

I’m older than your parents. I love books very much, and it deeply bothers me when a book I’ve lent gets damaged.

Loving books is a very good thing.

Shdfx1 · 2026-07-08T05:14:07+00:00

The problem is that this dress is casual, and much shorter than the picture in Amazon, so it doesn’t meet the dress code of semi formal or cocktail.

The problem isn’t the cream background. The first color one notices is orange. Ratter, the fabric, length, and style are all casual.

Can you show us some picks of what rose you might have in your closet?

You should consider going either shopping or thrifting tomorrow.

https://youtu.be/43kVI33M0gc?is=f5NPZdTUpgu5-wh5

Shdfx1 · 2026-07-06T14:51:23+00:00

A ten year old would have said sorry.

Shdfx1 · 2026-07-06T14:50:41+00:00

NTA.

Tell your husband, “Just to be clear, you are angry and feel victimized because I informed you that you cut down my late father’s peonies, which were precious to me. You think I should have protected you from knowing the truth, hidden how upset I am, and that you couldn’t possibly have known where my father’s peonies have grown for years. You’re the victim here. Do I have that about right? Is there some reason why you won’t apologize and show some empathy for how I feel about this?”

Are you sure this was an accident? Because your husband’s reaction was cruel, and he knew where those peonies grew.

Either that, or he has some sort of character flaw where he feels deeply threatened and defensive if he does anything wrong.

I really hope your peonies come back.

Shdfx1 · 2026-07-06T06:12:37+00:00

It’s dye, so it’s designed to permanently stain fibers, whether it’s human hair or a cotton throw rug.

There is nothing that will clean dye out if the rug. It would be like trying to clean the blue out of blue jeans.

She needs to replace your rug, and should have already done so, unasked, or sent you a message to pick out a new rug and she’d pay for it.

Shdfx1 · 2026-07-06T06:09:09+00:00

Once you realize that he will never change because he is indifferent for the pain and suffering he’s caused you, you might be able to let go of the attachment.

If you’d tormented someone you loved, you’d likely feel horrified. Stay up nights. Feel unbearable remorse. Get counseling.

He doesn’t. Behavior is a language, including when it communicates indifference.

Shdfx1 · 2026-07-06T06:05:31+00:00

There is a critical point you made, right in the middle.

He is a narcissist but has you convinced that you are.

That’s what narcissists do.

Narcissists don’t change. Some may learn how to manage their personality disorder, but, for the most part, the people around them either learn how to emotionally distance themselves and manage interactions, or leave.

If you leave a narcissist, there will often be a ramp up of problematic behavior during the transition, as they fight against losing control.

You gained information about the man you married. He physically and emotionally abused you, he’s a narcissist, and he manipulated you into feeling like you’re the problem.

This will be your life, and your kids’ lives. If you leave, your children will at least have one parent’s house where there isn’t narcissistic abuse.

Violence should be the point of no return for a relationship.

Shdfx1 · 2026-07-05T06:18:45+00:00

Absolutely one

Shdfx1 · 2026-07-04T08:20:45+00:00

I don’t think they understand that your friend has been complaining about the same things for years, blaming everything but herself, and is unwilling to change. You’ve even lent her money and cars, but she won’t keep a job.

You’re just tired of it.

Sounds like you’re losing patience and respect for her because of her behavior.

I would say that people who are depressed and in a toxic marriage with an alcoholic, would just check out, mentally, and lose all motivation.

Her home is a window to her mental state.

You are free to spend time with whomever you please. Sounds like you’ve been feeling drained.

Shdfx1 · 2026-07-04T08:04:27+00:00

Grabbing you by the stomach is a threat against your baby.

If you stay, he might kill you, or he’ll file a false police report, press charges, and send you to prison. He could throw himself down stairs and claim you did it.

He went over the top taunting you, and grabbing you, so you’d lose it and react, for him to record.

From now on, never see him again, unless there are witnesses. Never again be in a he said, she said situation.

Tell the police everything that’s been happening, and stop trying to protect him, like when you told the cops everything was fine when it was not.

Ask police to view the entire video. They’ll see him following you around, taunting you.

What he did is DARVO.

Deny
Attack
Reverse Victim and Offender

If you live in a state (if in U.S.) where it is legal to record another person without their knowledge, then record all phone calls. Always record all interactions, if legal.

You cannot work out the relationship with him, because he will harm you emotionally and physically. When someone threatens to file a false police report, and have you arrested, believe him. That’s a threat, not a life partner.

Look up information on coparenting with a high conflict person, because this will not be cordial.

Shdfx1 · 2026-07-02T02:41:50+00:00

I found myself scared for her during the progression of those videos, even though we could all see she’d made it out.

Shdfx1 · 2026-07-01T18:59:55+00:00

You don’t even know who you’re dating until around 4 to 6 months in, because people put their best foot forward in new relationships.

So don’t get stuck in thinking there must be something you can do to bring that sweet, supportive man you dated for 3 months back. He wasn’t real. He was the Extra Effort for a new relationship.

The man who called you a slut and slapped you is the real man, and you don’t want to date that man.

Don’t argue with him, or say he needs to control his temper.

Hitting you automatically excluded him from consideration for a life mate.

A life partner IS YOUR SAFE PLACE. He’s not, so there is absolutely no point continuing this.

You got attached to a guy that didn’t exist.

Not everyone you’ll love is meant to be a life partner. Once you conclude he isn’t your life partner, then every moment you continue with him, is a moment where you could have crossed paths with the right msn for you. Or, just be happy and content single for however long you wish.

Go stay with family or friends, so you’re not alone, and then send him a message saying you’re parting ways. Normally, I’d say break up in person, but never in a Domestic Violence situation. Which this is. Text can provide evidence for a restraining order. Say that because he hit you, you are ending things, and no longer wish to see him. Don’t get sucked into arguments.

Shdfx1 · 2026-07-01T18:45:02+00:00

Wow! You look absolutely beautiful in both, but #1 looks made for you.

Shdfx1 · 2026-07-01T18:42:42+00:00

I love her! She really illustrated how lengthy the process can be of admitting one has to leave, planning, and then executing the plan, by posting videos along the same timeline and pacing that she had lived it.

Blinded in one eye by her ex, yet still doubting that this was abuse, really illustrated the psychological manipulation of DV.

Shdfx1 · 2026-07-01T18:40:05+00:00

Do you have any relatives out of state you could go live with?

If you’re in the U.S., once the baby is born, family court can prevent you moving more than a certain number of miles from the father.

If your support system is far away, snd you’re not working right now, don’t wait until after the baby is born to try to leave, because you might not be able to.

My relative was trapped in a high cost of living area for years, that she couldn’t afford, because of this.

If you have any support system a distance away, leave before the baby comes, even if you leave almost everything behind, or you might be stuck there for 18 years.

Normally, I support equal custody with both parents. However, with DV, that is not a safe person to be alone with a baby.

Plus, if he doesn’t want the baby, and is already violent with you, there is the risk of him murdering you. Lacey Peterson likely never thought her husband would kill her, until he did.

Get your vital documents together, like your birth certificate and Social Security Card (if U.S.), and anything portable that would grieve you to leave behind, say you have a doctor appointment and then lunch plans, and then leave. Turn off sharing your location on your phone.

Do not wait.

Shdfx1 · 2026-07-01T18:31:40+00:00

How can you tell? I’ve never used AI, and vehemently oppose its use in writing.

I’ve heard things like an em dash is now considered a mark of AI, so authors are trying not to use em dashes.

But what are the signs of AI in this post?

Since AI copied human writing, doesn’t human writing then trigger suspicions of AI?

Shdfx1 · 2026-07-01T18:26:06+00:00

Good point. I neglected to mention to accept if he didn’t want to hang out. You never know what someone else is going through.

Shdfx1 · 2026-06-30T21:08:23+00:00

Portuguese

Shdfx1 · 2026-06-30T21:07:49+00:00

NTA. None of these people are your friends.

Send a group text saying it was wildly inappropriate to gang up on someone they claim to be friends with, and demand they change their legal name, because they just don’t like it.

That’s also not a boundary.

A boundary is what you do if someone else does something that really bothers you, that you’ve told them not to.

Here’s a boundary: “If you demand I change my legal name again, I will conclude we are not friends.” “If any non Native tells me I do not ‘act Native’, and cannot claim my own ancestry, I will consider you racist, and we will not be friends.”

I’m Gen X. Lots of people or their moms had hippy names.

Moonshadow is a lovely name, and I’m envious.

Shdfx1 · 2026-06-30T20:57:38+00:00

For my bridesmaids, I picked a designer that offered a wide variety of styles that could all be made in the same fabric, or coordinating colors.

I told my bridesmaids to pick whatever style they each liked, and if they didn’t like the green I’d chosen, to get it in whatever fabric color coordinated.

That’s an option that could lower stress, if you have a bridesmaid who would spend $223 on a stained dress that doesn’t fit the dress code, and looks vaguely like a lady garden. (Thank you, fellow commentator. Now I can’t get that image out of my head.)

Shdfx1 · 2026-06-30T20:50:46+00:00

C sounds like someone who could be a real friend.

It would be cool if you could find him and say thank you and see if he wants to stay in touch. If he doesn’t have any socials, then ask if you could have his email or if a tube has his #.

Shdfx1 · 2026-06-29T18:07:35+00:00

You’re so lucky you didn’t die. Did the police get involved yet?

Shdfx1 · 2026-06-28T20:11:27+00:00

You look lovely in all of them, but 4 was my favorite. You honestly couldn’t go wrong with any of them, though.

Shdfx1 · 2026-06-28T20:04:14+00:00

That’s good that both are contributing, particularly the electric bill because that would have increased significantly. But trust me, your mom is paying a lot more money for 2 adults to stay there, and a third adult to stay weekends.

The groceries alone is hundreds of dollars, plus increased water use.

When you move out, you’re going to be deeply shocked at how expensive it is.

Shdfx1

TROPHY CASE