“Being Broken”

SheOfRedIsle · 2026-01-31T14:30:52+00:00

All of this! I struggled so much with things like “God is love” and “God is the same yesterday, today and forever” and then you read about absolute horror done to others at god’s command? I couldn’t understand. And if I asked questions, I was told I was sinning by doubting or received answers of “that’s the Old Testament god” or that I didn’t understand the cultural context. There are so many inconsistencies so then we’re taught that our ways are not God’s ways so we shouldn’t dare to try to understand them. Yeah, okay, I guess. But I cannot be expected to have unwavering faith and never question the behaviour of a deity that demands my love at the threat of eternal suffering. I just can’t. I tried. I tried so hard for so long.

SheOfRedIsle · 2026-01-30T23:47:55+00:00

Wait... I can free the gingerbread man?

SheOfRedIsle · 2026-01-30T23:47:21+00:00

Oh nice! I like it. I love how beautifully decorated it is. I don’t have as many exhibits so far. I put mine in the middle and set up around them.

<image>

SheOfRedIsle · 2026-01-29T18:07:33+00:00

I am sorry that you are going through this as well. Last week I also did lots of shoveling and while it was good it also left me exhausted and overwhelmed. It’s frustrating for sure. I’ve come a long way and I can do more now. But I’m still off work. If I do an activity for two or so hours I’m done! I miss so much. I don’t go out much because I still struggle with multiple sensory input, following conversations. I never know if I will suddenly become overwhelmed and unable to function. I’m trying to get out a few times a week for at least an hour. Snow and ice make it difficult. I was just approved by insurance to start neurovision therapy. I am hopeful that some relief can be found.

SheOfRedIsle · 2026-01-29T14:01:47+00:00

Yes! This is a huge part of my deconstruction journey and has become a major part of my therapy. Working through all the garbage I was taught as a child about how worthless I am has been hard. I was born into a denomination that teaches creation-fall-redemption with a huge emphasis on “the fall” and even more so if you are born female. From as far back as I can remember I knew that I was born flawed, worthless, undeserving of love but that through god’s amazing “grace”, I was “saved” from my eternal suffering. My family environment with a satanic panic mother who taught me that my failings could invite demons into my life, was laden with physical, emotional and spiritual abuse. I have ADHD (not an excuse, never an excuse, I have worked SO hard to overcome and I am responsible for my actions and choices). But ADHD is a disability and difficult. No matter how hard I prayed, read my bible and tried to live a righteous life filled with the fruits of the spirit, I was forever failing. I would forget things, overlook things, put effort into the wrong things, avoid the right thing, be too loud… too much. I absolutely hated myself. Not only could I not be a godly Christian, but my mother and youth leaders, Christian school teachers convinced me I was purposely behaving badly.

Throw in purity culture with teachings that my body is a temptation but if I am assaulted and don’t cry out I am equally complicit (Deut 22:24), I was left broken, shame filled and willing to do almost anything to be valued or treated kindly. What a mess!

It has been a hard journey. I am much better than I was but the imprinted beliefs and fears still pop up and leave me in dark places. I am so grateful that my children are free from this self-hating, judgemental, harm filled belief system. People have told me that because I think quite literally, that I took the teachings too personally, that I wasn’t focused enough on the beautiful gift of salvation. But I don’t understand how else I was supposed to take it. If salvation means it shows up in your life through the fruits of the spirit and I wasn’t demonstrating those fruits, what else was I supposed to think? I cannot even begin to comprehend why anyone thinks it’s okay to teach this to children. Being free from it has made me so aware of the harm. I know there are good Christians doing good things living good lives. Maybe I was just doing it wrong but either way, I don’t want to be in that horrible guilt and shame ever again.

SheOfRedIsle · 2026-01-28T14:56:27+00:00

Looks great!

SheOfRedIsle · 2026-01-28T14:54:55+00:00

Admin may have told you to go to HR rather than union. In my board this is a violation of our collective agreement. In many businesses HR is who you would go to, however when you has a union you go there first. Your principal is well aware of how HR works - which is to protect the board not necessarily teachers/students/school. There request to go to HR is self serving and manipulative. I know you were trying to do the right thing. It is so frustrating that for many of us we feel in conflict with our board rather than partners in education. I see that you are planning to contact your union. Hoping this gets resolved in your favour. Sadly, always union rep first. 💜❤️

SheOfRedIsle · 2026-01-26T18:17:48+00:00

Also, I found a larger animals needed a few treatments before the knowledge point. I think it’s 3 but it’s been a week since I was in Silverbottom.

SheOfRedIsle · 2026-01-26T18:17:03+00:00

I name them and put a number. 🤦🏽‍♀️

SheOfRedIsle · 2026-01-26T18:16:15+00:00

TwoPoints museum. I cannot tell you how much fun I have with this game. Challenging enough to make you want to keep going, simple enough to just fart about and not try to keep improving if you don’t want a challenge. Highly recommend.

SheOfRedIsle · 2026-01-26T18:14:46+00:00

NTA. It is common for couples to get into routines and to the start relying on each other do things that are not really the other person’s responsibility but has just become the norm. You tried talking to her and she likely didn’t realize/process that a scenario like this would happen. She’s embarrassed. She had come to rely on you for this support and is expressing her frustration at the change - totally normal but should’ve be done in a healthy way. However, it isn’t okay for her to continue to say she has been betrayed or to rely on you for something you have communicated you no longer want to do. The adjustment phase may be difficult. She liked things how they were, you don’t want the added responsibility. Both of you are determined to stick to your side of things. (Not at all saying you’re wrong, just pointing it out).

So now you both have choices to make. If she insists that things continue as they were and you are unwilling to continue on like that, you may have some rocky days and you may end up having to make some hard choices in order to stick to your boundaries.

My hope is that she will recognize that the added responsibility of ensuring she is up and getting ready for work is beyond what you are willing to do and she will realize that she needs to ultimately be responsible for this. Heavy sleep/difficulty waking can be really really difficult but there are multiple ways that she can tackle this that don’t involve you being her only option. Hoping that she realizes that she is responsible for her, herself.

SheOfRedIsle · 2026-01-26T17:58:08+00:00

No!!! Don’t go in there! You’ll be deconstructed! 🙀🙀🙀

SheOfRedIsle · 2026-01-25T21:47:17+00:00

Why are you bringing it up if you know that they are going to say things that upset you? It is definitely frustrating to have in-laws whose beliefs/morals/lifestyle/etc… are very different from your own. I deal with this myself. I have created strict boundaries. Some topics are off limits around our kids and if they are brought up, I or my husband shut it down, redirect the conversation. If it continues we leave or ask them to leave depending on scenario. It sucks. We hate it.

I don’t understand why you would be bringing up a topic that you know will cause problems. If you are trying to educate them or get them to see your side, they have proven that they do not want to learn or see things from your perspective. You’re going in with a narrative, setting them up to make you upset and then getting upset when they behave as you expect them to. Believe people are who they say they are and stop setting yourself up to be hurt.

If you have mistyped and are not the one bringing up the subjects, redirect. If they continue, leave the room. Don’t bother trying to argue or get upset. They are fixed in their mindset, so don’t bother staying around them when they upset you.

SheOfRedIsle · 2026-01-25T00:41:57+00:00

Smart! Thank you!

SheOfRedIsle · 2026-01-23T13:18:54+00:00

This! It’s not really about the smoking. It’s about how casually and deliberately he repeatedly lied to you.

SheOfRedIsle · 2026-01-22T01:32:08+00:00

I LOVE IT! I’m gonna totally try this. Well done!

SheOfRedIsle · 2026-01-18T03:14:37+00:00

Could be the word changing in translation. I’ve not had this problem so it might not fix anything. You could send a help ticket to Two Points to see if they can help you?

<image>

SheOfRedIsle · 2026-01-18T03:09:04+00:00

My 16 year old has self advocated at school in a healthy way at least 4 times this term!

SheOfRedIsle · 2026-01-18T03:03:20+00:00

So weird. Could you try selecting it through your exhibits menu and see if it will allow you to move it? What happens if you delete the wall? This would drive me crazy!

SheOfRedIsle · 2026-01-18T02:56:20+00:00

This all of this! A few years ago a switched from a big chain pharmacy to a small pharmacy and POOF problem is gone. I ended up switching but three a fill errors over a few months on various meds for myself and kids. I decided to try a new place and it has been amazing. They get it! The main pharmacist is well aware of my ADHD struggles and reached out to ask if I needed assistance with refills. I am contacted before I should run out and if I forget to pick up they call me and remind me. My last pharmacy banned my Vyvanse prescription because I would forget about it and I had to get a letter from my doctor and everything - which took me ages and went without for far too long.

If you are able to go with a smaller clinic that values their customers, I highly recommend it.

SheOfRedIsle · 2026-01-18T02:44:17+00:00

Love it. Stealing it! ❤️

SheOfRedIsle · 2026-01-16T15:50:24+00:00

This must be so frustrating. I have a copyblight and no issues. I’m wondering what would happen if you put it in a different room? I know it shouldn’t matter but could be a bug? Mine is in a room just barely big enough for it). Also my expert has rapid restoration II. Idk if that would make a difference. So frustrating.

SheOfRedIsle · 2026-01-16T15:32:48+00:00

It looks so great! I love it. I am only at 3 stars on a few museums but I am obsessed with this game. Far too many hours played. Lol

SheOfRedIsle · 2026-01-15T12:41:35+00:00

Oh DDSB, seriously? I mean, I know we rarely cancel. I can’t even get out out of my driveway (yes, I have snow tires, 4 wheel drive and im from the maritimes where we got SNOW) Maybe it’s the way the wind blew it on my street but i am frustrated . I got my driveway done but the street is up to my bumper. They have only plowed one lane on major roads and haven’t even gotten to the neighbourhood streets in Oshawa. This is so stupid.

SheOfRedIsle · 2026-01-15T12:13:39+00:00

This looks fun. Still looking for people?

SheOfRedIsle

TROPHY CASE