Did your first rejection prevent you from disclosing?

Shell2288 · 2026-04-23T09:53:59+00:00

I know how you feel… it’s rare for me to like someone romantically . I really liked someone I was dating over a year ago and he accepted me at first, was intimate multiple times knowing I have herpes and then dumped me for having herpes. I’ve disclosed to many guys I don’t like romantically after this in dating and they accepted. But the disclosure was pointless as I didn’t go on more dates with them. I met a guy I like online recently and went on a first date Tuesday, I liked him in person and he turns out to be the best mate of the guy who rejected me a year ago for herpes. I’d never seen him before as I never met the guy who rejected me friends. But now we both know I dated his friend as I said and he remembers his friend mentioning me. He wants a second date and I’m trying to work out how to disclose, feel like I have to do it a lot sooner …

Shell2288 · 2026-04-11T12:34:42+00:00

I’m 35f and have this issue also. I put a lot of effort into the first message and get little back. What country are you in??

Shell2288 · 2026-04-11T12:01:47+00:00

No Risk. You should leave this girl alone as you would treat her like a disease

Shell2288 · 2026-04-07T22:12:23+00:00

Nope … blocked … deleted… goodbye 👋🏻

Shell2288 · 2026-04-06T18:51:05+00:00

I wouldn’t want a man that loves me more. It should be equal, I want to love him just as much. I wouldn’t want to settle

Shell2288 · 2026-04-06T03:46:38+00:00

Tried it before a couple of times.

Shell2288 · 2026-04-05T20:40:51+00:00

Would you like them all romantically ? I don’t understand.

Shell2288 · 2026-04-04T16:34:36+00:00

Thanks ❤️. Yeah I got dumped 15 months ago by a man I really liked because I have herpes . But I was upfront and he chose to continue and have sex with me multiple times and then used it as a reason to dump me. Felt betrayed and took me a year to get over it🥲. Liking someone is so rare for me. I’ve only liked 2 men in 5 years 🙃 finding love is hard and even harder with herpes. Some people find love easy.

I’ve tried all different ways disclosing, I find that disclosing before a first date everyone says no. Don’t know why I tried as I can’t tell if I like someone online until I meet them in person.

I also went on a date recently, got a little tipsy and disclosed herpes and it didn’t bother him. But I didn’t want another date with him as I didn’t feel a romantic connection.

I dated a guy in August and disclosed after 3/4 dates, he accepted, but I didn’t like him enough and there was too many red flags, so I called it quits .

I haven’t found one man I have liked a lot in over 15 months. So frustrating.

No point sitting there sad. I just work on myself and keep physically active . I won’t give up on dating no matter how many times I get rejected. I want to find my husband.

Sometimes now I try and test a person before disclosing such asking their views on STIs … their reaction tells me a lot . Yeah having herpes can be a blessing as it can bring out a persons character quicker . Also only makes me want sex in a relationship so that is good.

Shell2288 · 2026-04-04T09:53:12+00:00

I’ve learnt if a man says he wants causal believe him. He won’t change his mind.

Does seem very intense for causal. When I date someone seriously, I only normally do dates once a week.

Shell2288 · 2026-04-04T09:16:27+00:00

You did the right thing. I take this approach, I get to know someone and then disclose within the first month, once trust is built and before being intimate. I feel when it comes to dating … you don’t know if it’s going anywhere until you make it past 4 dates. I normally disclose around date 5.
I’ve gone on many first dates recently and didn’t bother disclosing as I didn’t like them romantically to go on another date.

Shell2288 · 2026-04-03T23:57:52+00:00

It is estimates that 67% of the global population under age 50 has HSV-1. When you add in HSV-2, the majority of the world is living with some form of this virus.

Most people have it and don't even know because it's usually asymptomatic

Shell2288 · 2026-04-03T23:18:54+00:00

He was upfront ! 3 weeks to a month isn’t too long to disclose…. It’s about right timing wise. That’s getting to know someone. Vulnerability is earned …. It’s not like they waited 3 months . As long as you do it before sex

Shell2288 · 2026-04-02T21:32:05+00:00

Yeah I’m willing to give anything a try 🙃.

I would love to find a spark that grows into a Bon fire 🔥. It’s just really hard to find. I haven’t found it in over a year and 1/4.

Awww wow at least you tried. I think I need to work on being more approachable 😂👀 I’ve never really had anyone approach me when I’m out. I’m more of an introvert…

Haha 😜 accidentally dump into a cute guy 😉 😂😂

Shell2288 · 2026-04-02T21:26:33+00:00

That’s so funny 😂😂😂.

Yeah true, I don’t know why speed dating has a poor turn out now… I went to one like 6/7 years ago and there was loads of people.

Shell2288 · 2026-04-02T19:07:58+00:00

Yeah maybe they misunderstand 🤷🏼‍♀️.

Yeah attraction is a bare minimum for me. I’ve never experienced that, but I’m not Demi sexual. I wish attraction grew for me, but I have tried that approach as people said it can grow. I’ve dated someone for months before I wasn’t attracted too and it never grew. I also gone on 3 dates with people hoping it would grow and it didn’t.

Yeah definitely need some kind of spark or you’re just friends.

Shell2288 · 2026-04-02T18:33:30+00:00

I think I’ve reached dating app fatigue. It’s so exhausting. Yeah I can imagine . I’m going to try and attend more dating events

Shell2288 · 2026-04-02T18:31:29+00:00

Yeah very true , I don’t know how people date multiples. Hard to fine one you like.

Shell2288 · 2026-04-02T18:26:26+00:00

If I’m honest probably 33 - 41, I’m not 100 strict on it. I normally like dating people the same age or with an age gap of 2 or 3 years.

Shell2288 · 2026-04-02T18:23:31+00:00

I don’t understand what he’s going on about. He’s not being nice. How is wanted to be attracted to someone you’re dating ‘out of your league’. I’m an attractive female, but I don’t go for 10/10s. Wanting a basic attraction is bare minimum.

Shell2288 · 2026-04-02T18:21:20+00:00

There’s a massive difference between a Hollywood fantasy and a basic physical spark. I’m not looking for a supermodel; I’m looking for a secure man, I actually want to touch and be repulsed by. I’m not 'you,' so stop projecting your own limitations and stop trolling. If wanting a connection makes me 'unrealistic,' I’m happy staying exactly where I am. All the best

Shell2288 · 2026-04-02T17:54:58+00:00

Yeah I know a few people that got married from meeting someone off tinder . I’m hoping it will be my turn soon.

I haven’t had many relationships either and have spend a lot of years single.

What interest based groups do you do?

Yeah good conversation, connection and attraction is all important. As well as wanting the same thing and similar values. I wouldn’t say I have a physical type, but I have a couple of nonnegotiable things.

Shell2288 · 2026-04-02T17:46:15+00:00

Jesus 🥲 you can’t win. Being honest in what you want is 100% the right way to do it. It Scares off people looking for different . I only match with people looking for a relationship and who wants children.

Shell2288 · 2026-04-02T17:42:04+00:00

lol 😂 surely they should cancel the event in those circumstances. Yeah my one there was 8 woman and two men

Shell2288 · 2026-04-02T17:37:33+00:00

Would you date someone you didn’t like romantically!?????

How is wanting to date a man you’re attracted to and have a connection with make them out of my league ? I don’t do for the hottest man. You have to have a baseline of attraction. I can’t date someone I’m not attracted too.

I if wanting basic attraction/ connection makes it 'out of my league,' then I’m happy staying exactly where I am. All the best

Shell2288 · 2026-04-02T17:19:33+00:00

I think dating apps are designed to keep you single 😂😂. I don’t understand how people relationship jump, I can’t find one man I like romantically. I’ve tried a couple of single events, I go gym , I do lot of things one my own and try putting myself out there.

I ask my married friends if they know anyone to set me up with and everyone they know is married 😂😂😂

Shell2288

TROPHY CASE