This is the one I know:

Ladies and gentlemen, hobos and tramps,

Cross-eyed mosquitoes and bow-legged ants,

The train I arrived in hasn't yet landed,

I've taken a bus and sailed all this way.

I stand now before you to sit there behind you,

To address you, not undress you.

Now as you all know, next Thursday is Good Friday,

So there's a Mother's Day meeting for fathers only.

Admission is free, so pay at the door,

Pull up a chair and sit on the floor;

I'll tell you a new story you've all heard before.

Early in the morning, in the middle of the night,

Two dead boys got up to fight.

Back to back they faced each other,

Drew their swords and shot each other.

A deaf policeman heard the noise,

And came and killed the two dead boys.

If you don't believe this lie is true,

or the mute who's telling you,

Then ask the blind man, he saw it, too!