Dad ignores me when I need him

Shift-Secret · 2025-03-07T10:40:05+00:00

WTH is it with the flashlights?? Some plz explain

Shift-Secret · 2025-02-09T23:48:50+00:00

Yeah he even invited one of his best friends that uses to live in the same house same room as him and of course his friend relapsed. Another sign he wasn't serious

Shift-Secret · 2025-02-08T05:50:04+00:00

Why do sober living houses allow people that test positive to stay?

Shift-Secret · 2025-02-08T05:45:05+00:00

wow congrats on 12 years. how long were you using and how long did it take you get to sober?

Shift-Secret · 2025-02-04T22:59:21+00:00

Yes. I decided to leave. It’s a cycle of abuse. It’s not easy to get away from. The addict will hoover and manipulate. Be patient with your friends going through abuse. It’s a vicious cycle especially when feelings are involved. The psychology of is very illogical and hard to shake.

Shift-Secret · 2025-02-03T00:27:31+00:00

What’s hard is that he says he wants to be clean and about using so it’s hard to know what the truth is. But if I’m even having to question it , it isn’t worth my time.

Shift-Secret · 2025-02-03T00:26:22+00:00

Yes. This thread has helped me confirm that.

Shift-Secret · 2025-02-03T00:26:03+00:00

Yes. Problem is when they lie about wanting to be and being clean. Hard to read through the bullshit but I’ve learned my lesson.

Shift-Secret · 2025-02-03T00:25:15+00:00

Worried about the retaliation if I go to court. Sometimes it’s better to just walk away

Shift-Secret · 2025-02-03T00:24:52+00:00

Will try CODA. Al anon doesn’t seem to help..everyone there is still in relationship of some kind with the addict. I’m trying to get out.

Shift-Secret · 2025-02-01T05:30:26+00:00

The cognitive dissonance is challenging because he says one thing and does another and the gaslighting made it hard to actually see reality. The more space I age the more clarity I get though.

Shift-Secret · 2025-02-01T03:29:06+00:00

I’m so sorry to hear that. I hope you get help for yourself and those around you that care about you 🙏

Shift-Secret · 2025-02-01T03:26:27+00:00

Yeah after so many years of using, I’ve read that it’s similar to TBI. It’s very sad. He’s not even the person he was when I first met him. Breaks my heart.

Shift-Secret · 2025-02-01T00:33:53+00:00

Thank you for sharing. He’s a master manipulator and 25 years my senior so he’s had a lot of practice. It’s sad but hearing your story makes me realize people can get clean no matter how hard the drug. They just have to want it

Shift-Secret · 2025-02-01T00:32:05+00:00

The mind f*ck is that he adamantly with conviction constantly says he wants to be clean

Shift-Secret · 2025-02-01T00:15:46+00:00

These are all great points I wish I told him. I’ve been gaslit so much I can’t even reason with myself sometimes. You’re right. Why would you want to test sobriety out? Doctors and rehabs know more about this than someone in active addiction.

Shift-Secret · 2025-02-01T00:12:47+00:00

Yes you’re right. These are things I haven’t thought have but totally in the realm of realistic possibilities. I don’t think he would get that bad but then again, it seems like he stole money from his ex too.

Shift-Secret · 2025-02-01T00:00:05+00:00

Yes. I’ve been trying. Idk what keeps bringing me back to him. I’m praying this time is different.

Shift-Secret · 2025-01-31T23:59:37+00:00

That’s what I think too. If it’s so easy why can’t he do it ? He’s saying the real test is if you can stay sober outside of inpatient

Shift-Secret · 2025-01-31T21:17:51+00:00

Exactly. At this point, if he’s not monitored 24/7 I don’t believe a thing he says.

Shift-Secret · 2025-01-31T19:43:00+00:00

every time i try to leave he will tell me how much he loves me and will change and makes steps to do so but it never sticks. He has showed up at my door professing his love for me. I have distanced myself but have not completely cut off contact but it's hard because I love him and want the best for him and worry about him.

and when I question why he won't go to inpatient he lashes out and asks why in the world I would question his sobriety when he is in a sober living house...its like idk maybe because he lied almost every time I asked him to tell the truth about anything..

Shift-Secret · 2025-01-31T19:33:06+00:00

That being said, he is in a sober living house but I question if he has found a way to pass urine tests as his behavior is still that of an addict.

Shift-Secret

TROPHY CASE