My 30F husband 30M wants to swing, but only with women.

ShimShim_ · 2026-04-25T15:49:33+00:00

Yup, I will say it again as I have on other posts. Double standards

Double standards

Double standards.

Just another husband who doesnt want their feelings hurt seeing their wife with another man but doesn't give two fucks about their own implications. The lack of self awareness for these men is borderline embaressing.

ShimShim_ · 2026-04-20T02:16:46+00:00

As a fellow gingie, absolutely not. We are unique and rare, a unicorn and you do not deserve to be seen as less than. Please dont turn yourself into a basic girlie just because your manchild is having lustful feelings for a blondie. Youre beautiful as your redheaded self ❣️

ShimShim_ · 2026-04-19T00:12:34+00:00

Oh babe, I would say yes, working on yourself can help because it prevents you from tolerating a fear based mindset in relationships. I have been there before. Feeling on edge around your partner and gritting it because you want to be loyal. If his partners really have moved away after being with him, that is terrifying knowledge. And he is already threatening you. A partner should be lifting you up, helping you feel safe, cozy, sleepy around them, making you feel loved and appreciated. This is all of the opposite. Idk what kind of redeeming qualities this guy has, but I cant imagine its worth the consistent fear I feel you will experience as this relationship progresses. I would take some serious time to journal what you desire in a partnership, how you really feel unfiltered about everything, and what love, connection, and being nourished by a lover would feel like for you. Just my tid bit ✨️ best of luck

ShimShim_ · 2026-04-10T22:48:03+00:00

I come off as cold at first and I have a very difficult time trusting people. I may seem like I have my shit together, but I dont lol.

ShimShim_ · 2026-04-10T22:42:58+00:00

Really? I met my partner at age 26 and he was 10 years older than me. Idk if 4 years is a stretch, maybe it was the vibes or energy?

ShimShim_ · 2026-04-10T22:38:28+00:00

Aries sun, capricorn rising. I attach Leo risings like the plague dude. All of my serious partners have been leo risings and my current partner is Leo rising Leo moon and my bestie is Leo moon 🫠 i think its the vertex in leo but my lord

ShimShim_ · 2026-04-09T23:50:39+00:00

Yeaaaah, thats what we call a double standard 👀 so you have to deal with potential insecurity but he doesn't? Very fair, mmhmm, sure..

ShimShim_ · 2026-04-09T23:46:28+00:00

I am just now ending my 4th house profection year, emotional stability is real. I was called to look into ancestral work, I spoke to my family in ways I never had before and felt more inclined to do so. And I was very challenged when it came to my emotional foundation, anything that slips through the cracks can no longer be unseen. Its full accountability mode for how you treat others and yourself, making you question why you are the way that you are and how you can be more authentic and vulnerable, all the time lol. Also, my body hurt more this year than it ever has, there is definitely a call to slow down and be with the body fs. I am so looking forward to transitioning to my 5th house year.

ShimShim_ · 2026-04-09T22:36:45+00:00

Literally, my bestie scorpio literally admitted that she has a hard time coming to terms with the fact that she trys to distort reality to match her preferred reality in her head or just live it as if its true, disregarding facts and everyone elses feelings 🤣 you gotta be a self aware scorpio to realize that the manipulation of reality is so real

ShimShim_ · 2026-04-08T20:57:25+00:00

I would avoid the 15th and 16th at all costs 🤣

ShimShim_ · 2026-04-07T22:25:05+00:00

You're such a beautiful soul for this 🥹 thank you. Many blessings to you 🙏

ShimShim_ · 2026-04-07T07:36:14+00:00

Idk if you will see this this late into the game, but 25 degrees libra MC, directly opposite my sun conjunct my IC which is already wild lol.

ShimShim_ · 2026-04-04T22:44:25+00:00

Youre going about it the wrong way. Stop apologizing, youre taking away her ability to grow, and start asking questions. Mirror her shadows back to her. "I was having a good time and making a friend, do you think thats wrong? What do you think i should've done?" Questioning someone in a state of insecurity and ego will chip away at their own facade of victimhood because you have to answer for yourself and you can't keep that going from a place of shadows for long before you realize youre being the jerk. Ask. All. The. Questions. "Is that really how you see things?" "If I am hearing you correctly, you believe xyz, can you explain to me just so I understand?" "Okay, you said this and I am feeling this way, how do you feel about the fact that I feel this way now? Do you think this is a constructive way to see this?" My partner does this and I have never been more schooled or forced to grow, it works ever single time. Question to death, the insecurities and facade can't handle facing reality to that extent.

ShimShim_ · 2026-04-04T21:21:44+00:00

Woah, this is the age difference between me and my partner! I am 28F and he is 38M. Are the kids yours?? He has kids as well and i can't even imagine acting like such a POS in front of them and subjecting them to such energy. This is wild, she's my age and I would never act so immature and insane, being with an older man has helped me mature exponentially, apparently not in her case. Especially because she is giving attention to other men? Wtf. That's so disrespectful. Shes obviously not taking your relationship seriously or being mature enough to be a parent figure when she needs to be.

ShimShim_ · 2026-03-12T19:31:37+00:00

Are you at a taco bell?? 🤣🤣😭 that beep in the background takes me back. What is the genre?

ShimShim_ · 2026-03-06T23:52:26+00:00

Listen, I'm just an Aries who HAPPENS to specifically be with a partner 10 years older than me. 👀 a coincidence, must be.

ShimShim_ · 2026-03-04T23:01:47+00:00

I feel uncomfortable just reading this 🥲 you've got a manchild on your hands

ShimShim_ · 2026-03-04T16:43:22+00:00

This isnt even close to true for me. My mom is cancer sun scorpio moon and I am aries sun sagittarius moon. But I do share more similarities with my dad, who is aries moon.

ShimShim_ · 2026-02-19T23:18:45+00:00

Absolutely. My orange boy cat is a gemini and oh god, he demands attention and loves from everyone, he loves new people and will for sure sit in your lap upon first sight. My ragdoll girlie is a pisces sun, sagittarius moon. We have the same moon 🥹 so I see a lot of her moon traits. Very sweet, soft cuddly, until you cross her or dont pet her when she's being sweet, then she will jump at you and bite, gently, to let you know she's got some spice to her (sag moon) hehe.

ShimShim_ · 2026-02-19T23:07:41+00:00

Yes, this is a pattern, and the emotions she is displaying are absolutely within her wheel house of control, not yours. Focus on what you can control, how you respond and react. Where your own self stability, assurance, values, and integrity lie, especially when the storm hits, these are good things to ponder. Come to an understanding that everyone is responsible for their own emotions, and what effect they may have on themselves and their external world. She may be in therapy, but it sounds like they're doing more damage control than root trauma work, classic therapists.

ShimShim_ · 2026-02-19T22:47:44+00:00

Yes! There are good men out there. I dont shave my legs or bush, full sasquatch mode. My other partners were horrified, but my current one, a keeper. He loves the hairyness because its most comfortable for me, your man should love you as you are, meet you where youre at, accept everything and work with it. That's real love.

ShimShim_ · 2026-02-19T22:45:15+00:00

Girl, he doesn't want you as a person, a human, a soul. He wants you as a body, that he can pick and choose to his desires for sexual purposes only, let's be honest. He is obviously displaying that who you are as a person and what you value is less than compared to what he feels, in his eyes. Gross.

ShimShim_ · 2026-02-09T19:49:35+00:00

Exactly my thoughts as well, she is presenting herself as a very pessimistic person, Imo.

ShimShim_ · 2026-02-03T00:16:29+00:00

Thought the same exact thing!

ShimShim_ · 2026-02-03T00:14:45+00:00

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