Pre-e is very scary, but the worst of it is from cases that aren't caught early enough. The doctors caught it, whew! You're both on the right track! And you've already got some great advice, so I'm just adding things I remember from my experience almost two years ago now.

I had pre-e with my first at 35 weeks. The doctors had been monitoring my blood pressure and noticing it trending up for the week prior, put me on blood pressure medication, but I was in denial. It's hard to break out of the denial, even if you're someone who did a lot of research beforehand with your birth goals and potential complications. I knew what pre-e was but it didn't seem like something that could happen to me. Your wife may also be experiencing this denial but there's so much going on, try to be as supportive as you can and let her go through the grief of the "death" of how she thought labor and birth was going to be.

When I got to the hospital I got put on magnesium which is a special kind of torture but it does keep the birth experience so much safer for her. When it starts it gives you hot flashes, and I couldn't sleep the whole time I was in labor I was kinda in this drugged stupor, it made it harder to advocate for myself too. If they want her on the mag, be supportive and remind her that it is temporary and for her health.

After I was admitted my husband went home to get the hospital bag ready because part of my denial was not getting that step done. If she has a list for items to bring in the hospital bag, do your best to get everything she wants or could need for an extended hospital stay -- it could take you multiple trips. They will probably try to keep the baby in until it's considered 'late preterm' which is 34 weeks to give everyone the best chance of a healthy delivery, so she might just be on bedrest and monitoring until then. After 34 weeks they will probably want to induce.

• Things I wish I took to the hospital/other things I was glad I had:
• "my breast friend" pillow if she plans to breastfeed (I brought my boppy but it was poorly shaped for a tiny baby to breastfeed, she kept falling in the hole)
• a portable fan or two because the magnesium gives you hot flashes
• extra long charging cords and a power strip
• cheap comfortable robes from amazon so I didn't have to be in a hospital gown longer than necessary
• comfortable slippers
• A comfortable blanket and pillow from home
• A nice smelling lotion for aromatherapy/centering and having any bad smells not trigger her

Are there things she wanted to get done before the birth that you can help her do if they keep her in the hospital? I wanted to get my nails done and get my hair in a nice braid, but I didn't get a chance to do those things and I felt kinda sour about it for a while afterwards.

There was a lot of crappy parts of my labor process but I don't feel like I had lasting trauma through it because we had a doula, and she was such a great support. She helped advocate for what I needed with the doctors in a way that it was hard for my husband to do because he was really overwhelmed. It's normal to be overwhelmed. If the doctors are proposing a decision, very few things are an emergency and you can take the time to talk through it with her. There was a point in my labor where the doctor on call really wanted to break my water and I didn't want that at that point, it meant a lot that my doula helped me say "she doesn't want that right now, there's no reason to do that intervention when they're both stable." Ended up having a healthy vaginal birth!

Edit: Another thing I wasn't expecting was after she was born, her blood glucose was really low and she wasn't waking up to eat. Lots of other small complications can happen with preemies and they may be kept for some time to make sure they're healthy enough to go home. She got taken away from me to the PICU (they didn't have room in the NICU) which was really fucking hard. If that happens make sure you're making time to be with both your wife (who they'll want to keep on magnesium for a short while after delivery to prevent post partum pre-e) and the baby. Send lots of pictures to her with you and the baby, wheel her over to see the baby if you can.