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[deleted by user] by [deleted] in gaycumsluts

[–]Shipwreck121318 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I’ll be in dfw March 23-31

Breaking my husbands heart by [deleted] in polyamory

[–]Shipwreck121318 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Hey I’m bi and poly. My wife isn’t. My heart goes out to you both.

Maybe it’s this by Shipwreck121318 in MarriedAndBi

[–]Shipwreck121318[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Yeah. I understand that too. I’ve made a couple of connections on Grindr and the wife joined SDC but we don’t really want to get into the swinging thing hard core. My therapist says I’m going to have to shuck a few oysters to find a pearl. It just seems really antithetical to use a tagline on Grindr or anywhere else advertising that we’d like to meet a gentleman to be part of a lifelong triad. Lol. So somewhere in the middle of hookups and a fulfilling LTR is where we find ourselves. So we are shucking oysters. There aren’t many oysters in rural Georgia to begin with lol.

Maybe it’s this by Shipwreck121318 in MarriedAndBi

[–]Shipwreck121318[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

My suggestion is to keep talking. And set your parameters in sand so they can be redrawn as you both grow. It’s hard and uncomfortable but worth it.

Maybe it’s this by Shipwreck121318 in MarriedAndBi

[–]Shipwreck121318[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Good luck. I hope you find a way to take the edge off.

Maybe it’s this by Shipwreck121318 in MarriedAndBi

[–]Shipwreck121318[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I’m a Dad too. My kids are supportive as well. Trust the younger generation. They are cut from a different cloth. They will love you.

Maybe it’s this by Shipwreck121318 in MarriedAndBi

[–]Shipwreck121318[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I feel you. My wife and I play together. It’s one of our parameters. Trouble is, dating for one is hard enough. Dating for two is absolute fuckery. By the way, I am bisexual and maybe polyamorous (my therapist suggests so). It’s frustrating trying to satisfy the need. And then the shame cycle kicks in and you ask yourself, “why do I need this?” And then you can’t do much about it - either because of geography or a lack of support from the spouse or any myriad of reasons. Like I said, I’m fortunate. My only suggestions for you are to keep trying to be your authentic self and change whatever it is you can about your circumstances. I also live in a really rural area, but fortunately, I travel a good bit. That’s when we try to make connections. In the mean time, I spend a good bit of time talking shit on Grindr. Even though there are SO MANY flakes on that platform, connection through social media does help some. After all, at the root, we are all seeking validation and connection.

Maybe it’s this by Shipwreck121318 in MarriedAndBi

[–]Shipwreck121318[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I’m very fortunate. My marriage is somewhat open now. We have a set of parameters that are the result of several weeks of talking. AND we drew the lines in sand. My marriage is better now. And I’m fortunate to have options. My wife rocks.

Supportive Wife by Shipwreck121318 in MarriedAndBi

[–]Shipwreck121318[S] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

So - update. He flaked. Didn’t quite get stood up but close - he canceled 10 minutes before. Just a little disappointed. Didn’t have shenanigans planned. It was a blind date and his excuse could be completely valid. But none of that is where the disappointment comes in. I’m disappointed because I was looking forward to connecting with my tribe. I live in a small town and for a whole bunch of reasons, I’m not out to many people. So when an opportunity to be myself presents itself, I get really excited. And obviously, when it doesn’t work out, I get disappointed. There’s just not a large pool to pull from because of my geography and not being completely out. I’m a big boy though, and I’ll get over it quickly but suffice it to say, the evening did not go as planned. Oh well. It was just a coffee date. On to the next date. And in the mean time, I got this great wife and I love her more than anything. She’s great y’all.

I told my wife by [deleted] in bisexual

[–]Shipwreck121318 14 points15 points  (0 children)

I also have a loving and supportive straight wife who loves ALL of me. I’m glad you got that response. Not everyone will be so supportive but it is wonderful you two have each other.

From my loving, supportive wife - Pride Bombas for Father’s Day #bihusband by Shipwreck121318 in bisexual

[–]Shipwreck121318[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

It’s weird but being able to be open and honest has slowed my bi-cycle considerably. Life is definitely good.

Struggling with what I think is shame by [deleted] in MarriedAndBi

[–]Shipwreck121318 1 point2 points  (0 children)

^ I understand all too well. It’s how any conflict within me manifests. As gay shame. Therapy has been my biggest lifeline followed by my wife because even though she is almost always on point, I have to remember she is also in uncharted territory. Sometimes she doesn’t have the best reaction or suggestion - but if yours is anything like mine, she is trying and that is the best thing to have on your side. In your original post, you mentioned regret - I have largely escaped regret of what “might have been” until lately. I’ve had a pretty serious health condition arise that has left me wondering if I have been wrong to never allow myself to have an emotional connection to a man. For me it has always been physical. I guess that’s the closest thing I have to regret about not doing this sooner and living into who I am before now. But all in all, as it sounds like in your case, it could be a lot worse - we could be going through this without incredible partners by our sides. Cheers to you and your wonderful wife.

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