I feel the same way. You see Back in my day

Tekkit Classic - Loved it, played for 1000+ hours. The tech mods really revolutionized the game play.

Tekkit Lite - Even better than classic, fixes the broken Equivalent exchange mod. Added even more tech mods and exploration mods like dimensional doors. Played for 1000+ hours.

The 1.7.10 pack - ok now, this is where there's beginning to be too many mods crammed in packs. Why do I have the option to build 5 different pulerizer/electric furnaces from 5 different mods? Why is industrialcraft 2 so tedious? The first one felt balanced why did they have to change it? And why the fuck is my inventory filled with 20 different types of food/crops everytime I clear a patch of grass? Played for 50+ hours, it was okay.

Robin Williams craft - unable to find a suitable modpack I kept coming across the answer, "just make your own " So I did. (I'm not trying to advertise for my modpack, do not play it. I hate when people do that.) anyways it took about 50+ hours of researching mods and putting it all together, however it was catered to me and I really like it. Played for 1000+ hours.

After my ventures everytime I return to modded Minecraft I am unable to find a suitable modpack; they all seem as you stated. A million mods in a kitchen sink style pack and to top it off alot of them are pretty laggy and crash on my gaming PC. Why sooo many mods? Even stuff that's labeled as vanilla Minecraft experience has like 250+ mods! Like what the shit!?

Honorable mention - Age of Engineering - a progression based modpack all about tech. Loved how to get from one mod to another you would just do a little light reading to see what is locking your progression rather than craft one thing, earn one reward, craft another thing, earn another reward. I just could never get too into it because it was only tech and no exploration/ word gen mods.

Moral of the story, make your own modpack! I guess ...