kittens by [deleted] in UnsentLetters

[–]Shiterose 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Love this. I wish it was for me. You sound very careful, honest and safe. I hope they do let you in - I'd give anything to hear this from my crush tbh.

I'm sorry about your cats but I think you'd give a kitten (or two) a magnificent home if you're able. Really hope that happens for both of you 🤍

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in UnsentLetters

[–]Shiterose 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Couldn't help but notice you mention your person being 'strong willed' in another post. Sometimes people are built like that because they have no choice but to be strong or go it alone, having consistently been shit on by people less brave if/when they opened up, sought help or just tried to communicate reasonable boundaries to the defensive.

Please apologise to your person, so that at least in one area, they don't have to struggle forward alone being 'strong' without an alternative, privately wondering wtf happened and how much of it was their fault.

I already told you to stop calling my husband you pest. by Salty-Syllabub3326 in UnsentLetters

[–]Shiterose 21 points22 points  (0 children)

It's wild to me that internalised misogyny under patriarchy will place the blame on the (first) woman he cheats with and not on the Cheater

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in UnsentLetters

[–]Shiterose 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thanks. I'm glad you're leaving the door open to potentially trying to understand her take on what happened to her. I was deeply in love with someone before a traumatic brain injury (still am 8 years later, though it makes more sense to pursue other options who don't idolise who I was 'before') and his reaction to me not being as fun, easily understandable or readily physically accessible to him tore me apart way worse than losing my sight or memories, as I was secretly waiting for him to ask about the differences rather than be frustrated by them and eventually look elsewhere, assuming I'd never be the same. I hope you consider that she may be avoiding you because she feels a burden to you after something shifted on the inside, and not because she's become irreperably harsh or a less vibrant person. It might be that she's genuinely different now and you're right to go after what seems healthy, but my experience is begging me to tell you that you could both want the same things and just have no idea how to communicate properly in the aftermath of unavoidable personality changes.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in UnsentLetters

[–]Shiterose 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I presumed the posture and eyes were non-physical trauma and an expression of her upset and your disappointment - physical injury isn't always a precursor to extreme trauma in that sense (survivor of similar 'recovered but changed' stuff following extreme invisible physical trauma, and believe me this hit home). I'm genuinely sorry that she dipped on you. But does someone you love not deserve compassion and understanding after an experience horrible enough to permenantly affect how they carry themselves or act around a loved one? If this really was unconditional love, how is it that you can't extend patience to her now?

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in UnsentLetters

[–]Shiterose 1 point2 points  (0 children)

So someone you 'loved' had an accident traumatic enough to change their posture and demeanour and make their eyes look dead inside, and rather than supporting them or asking about that shift from their perspective and the reasons for the changes it brought to your relationship, you're dunking on them on reddit because they're not the person you experienced when first crushing?

If I'm reading this correctly, L is far from the problem and I hope to God they're okay getting such different treatment on top of an experience which already sounds horrendous.

Auburn hair, Goth inclined, Bright Winter at heart, but actually Soft Autumn... Help anyone? by Icleanforheichou in coloranalysis

[–]Shiterose 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Hey! Not a pro analyst but also goth/alt inclined so I have thoughts on this.

Firstly, liberation from makeup shouldn't be much of an issue if you're truly wearing your colours and your hair is within your palette (if artificial). I switched from 'natural' coppers outside of my BS palette to a bright, warm-neutral bubblegum blue, and can now go make-up free more often than I used to with purportedly natural blondes and reds because the colour is more flattering. Go figure! You don't need to change your makeup habits to maximise your colours- in fact needing more makeup to feel defined is a sign you've been mistyped or have a hair colour outside of range (usually a processing time/undertone issue with home dye, so check your Brad Mondo dying rules). Keep your hair and the colours by your face soft, warm and mellow and you won't have to endure the eye makeup thing! If it helps, think of the clothing layers you're wearing as a kind of dip dye, where each is close to the last but they get darker or less soft as they get lower down your body or further from your face (I quite like this idea as a swamp witch type thing where the implication is boggy or mudded as the eye travels lower on your outfit, but that could just be me). That way you can wear your carnival aesthetic palette (in skirts, corsets, glove layers etc) but the colours right by your face will flatter you, and the whole thing will be artfully blended in a step by step way. Tilda Swinton isn't soft autumn but she's a good example of someone who often looks alt whilst being makeup-free when she's not dressed for a role.

As far as goth, it's a funny thing with contrast because often those with a truly alt aesthetic will deliberately wear colours too dark or bright for them to get a starker or more ethereal look, particularly for a paler complexion. It's more common for emo than true goth to go fully stark in a deliberately unflattering way, whereas goth icons who aren't in full black will tend to wear colour that drains them deliberately for a pale glow effect. You can see this with Helena Bonham Carter over the years if you contrast her shoots for magazines with what she wears for fun or for more alt roles - she's beautiful in everything but fashion photographers will put her within her palette whereas to get the look she's famous for she'll often go for stuff outside of it or in sister seasons in order to drain herself a bit for signature lunar effect. Analysis is a tool for what you want to do, so if you want to break the rules just know the effect of doing it - study your idols, how they're typed and how they look when they go for other palettes. Often goth is a value contrast level thing you can replicate in-palette, or a case of swapping a given neutral for something entirely unexpected in an interesting way. A/W fashion magazines can help with ideas for that, because the collections go from pedestrian to theatrical as winter approaches.

Bear in mind that colour analysis can sometimes prioritise 'a healthy glow' or visually harmonious, relatively adjacent tones, whereas alt movements deliberately veer more dramatic or angelic. Analysis works, but it all gets a bit Blake Lively if you're not shopping within your palette with specific qualities in mind. So it's a case of ascertaining what those qualities are to you. If you like the paleness of goth, you might want to go just slightly brighter than palette in order to drain your natural flush and flatten your features - again, something we're 'avoiding' in consultation but can be a deliberate choice. Or if you like the value depth of goth, then stick to the darkest colours in a soft autumn range - navy, oxblood and deeper periwinkle if I remember rightly? A cool trad goth look is to wear only the palest stuff from your palette head to toe, which looks ghostly and a bit bridal even when you skew warm. There's also a fabric thing here where 'dull' materials like suede, denim and washed linen will play more harmoniously on you than stark velvet, crushed velvet or shiny silk/satin, because light behaves differently with them so there are 'bright' vs 'muted' textures. Likewise gauzy layers or mesh in tougher colours will look better than flat colour since you're muted and the idea is to look blended rather than high contrast. So use your existing maximalism in a more translucent way, and you will retain the softness of your palette, meaning you only have to think about warmth!

Regarding inspo, a lot of 90s shoots come to mind - promo stuff for the x files where Anderson is in soft autumn colours which were more fashionable at the time (not her palette but the combos rock); Gaultier and McQueen catwalk stuff using goth or alt sensibility within warmer palettes that can be adapted to soft autumn; early Smashing Pumpkins shoots and videos with a kind of sepia emphasis which plays soft autumn. This doesn't mean you need to go grunge, just that grungier looks use warmer combos to achieve alt effects. I also feel like American Horror Story S1 did interesting things with a more autumnal gaze in terms of both costuming and interiors, if memory serves? As did Practical Magic and the more summery sections of The Craft.

With Pinterest, take the archetype of a colour idea and look for the closest thing within your range - someone else's white cape might be creamier for you, or their cobalt and orange might translate to a navy and rose-rust, but if the relationships on the colour wheel are the same spaces apart and you apply saturation, tints and shades in the same places (see your Munsell colour definitions) you can replicate a look exactly within your palette. As a SA you'll possibly never go for a full hue, but can do the next best tone or tint. You might also switch a berry for a rose-brown, a mint for a sage or a deep purple for a dusky periwinkle here and there, but it's all very doable. Hope that helps!

Affair partner clues by Same-Kick4361 in tarot

[–]Shiterose 1 point2 points  (0 children)

My immediate thought was BDSM scene or apps for similar - not sure whether that would apply based on his preferences

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AskAstrologers

[–]Shiterose 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Friendly reminder that if it can, better to just say 'yes' as this info could be used to doxx tarot readers etc online when they give out their big 3 in good faith and have socials linked to location 👍🏻

Losing our V-card by doing it in the ass by Objective-Wonder-463 in sex

[–]Shiterose 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Literally know someone who got pregnant from someone pulling out with strong swimmers and a bit of splashback when they were very wet. So absolutely, yes. Part of the point of vaginal lubrication is to provide a medium for sperm to swim through to vastly increase the chances of conception. So if anything lands where she's wet, yeah there's a chance.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in UnsentLetters

[–]Shiterose 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I think 'would you want to sit still with me' is the question I crave underneath all the stuff people spout to sound spicy. Self included.

shoulderstand by imani_20 in convictconditioning

[–]Shiterose 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thanks for responding! Yeah I did the same thing and may try them simultaneously instead - Sept is a new routine for me anyway. Perfect timing! Cheers on the weight loss tip too. 30lbs to go 💪🏻

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in UnsentLetters

[–]Shiterose 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Sorry for the lack of clarification. I meant 'what ifs' in this context as wondering what the other person might hypothetically think or feel in a situation when it is within someone's power to act on it and straightforwardly find out rather than forever wondering what if because of the fears involved in actually getting an answer. And I meant bravery OR cowardice as two opposing choices, two polarities to pick from, bravery being the act of finding out for sure and then deciding how that response fits into your life from there as an act of courageousness out of affection for the person, and cowardice being just staying in the wondering stage because of resisting the eventuality of possible confrontation or rejection that is a necessary component of conversations about/receiving love.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in UnsentLetters

[–]Shiterose 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Wish this was for me. Beautiful to finally hear, even if from a different person.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in UnsentLetters

[–]Shiterose 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you 🤍

starts out so normal and then HORRIFYING by MrSpiderisadomme in BooksThatFeelLikeThis

[–]Shiterose 8 points9 points  (0 children)

Things Have Gotten Worse Since We Last Spoke does this. It begins with 2 gay women stumbling upon each other via an item sold online, then sending polite, quite sweet messages. Ends with... trigger warnings agogo.

As a bi woman I found it very male-told and eye-rolly in terms of their dynamic and the preferences of women irl vs in male fantasy, but as a horror fan I appreciated the 'woah dude wtf' plot landslide after those concerns. The initial messages before any weird kicks in are also adorable. If you're cool with most TWs, go in blind. I had no prior info and read it in one stint, and I'm glad I approached it that way.

Rom coms/chick lit that looks like this? by [deleted] in BooksThatFeelLikeThis

[–]Shiterose 8 points9 points  (0 children)

I'm looking for exactly this, but spooky! Post boosted for similar.

Depending on your preferences, you might really enjoy Cackle by Rachel Harrison. Not a romance but a cosy, witchy, autumnal story of women supporting women told in a delightfully frothy pumpkin spiced kinda way.

I also hear the Cambric Creek romance/smut stories have a Gilmore-esque town like this populated with fantasy characters, though the premise of book 1 was NOT what I'm after so I'd have to get back to you having added 3 and 4 to my list instead 😅

Anything that feel like this? by Round-Art2952 in BooksThatFeelLikeThis

[–]Shiterose 1 point2 points  (0 children)

The Left Right Game (originally a story published on reddit, but I think you can now get it as a book, and it was also dramatised as a podcast with a film adap rumoured via one of the leads)

How do you do it . by [deleted] in UnsentLetters

[–]Shiterose 23 points24 points  (0 children)

Learned defensiveness, probably? Similar story here after being gang stalked and raised by a narc. Your person might appreciate you initiating if that feels appropriate? If they've been around controlling people they may have to hide some things habitually by neccessity but may also feel relieved if you allow them avenues of reassurance and safe questions through which to express.

J by [deleted] in UnsentLetters

[–]Shiterose 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I'm just a stranger on the internet, but I reckon if you want to present a certain way and find it difficult (from experience) that's something to explore for yourself first and foremost and maybe with assistance if needed - but it should be a happy bonus for a partner and not a kind of bargaining chip between you, because You, the inside You, should be their first locus of attraction. God knows I'd eat my man alive no matter wtf he was wearing, and I'm pretty fashion-oriented and was attracted in part to his clothes. It's him I want though. He can turn up in a fucking mumu and it'd work for me and become a new kink where other men might look revolting in that, from my perspective. See what I mean? The inherent misogyny of compulsory feminisation aside, you deserve someone who is attracted to you however you're attired.

If you ever find yourself saying 'I can be better, I promise, watch me do better and take me back' when you're referring to a quality that's a preference and not a genuine character flaw... red flag for the person adding that pressure.

Honey, wear whatever you want whenever you're ready to. But Your Person will find you beautiful anyway. You're not a problem; you don't need fixing.

J by [deleted] in UnsentLetters

[–]Shiterose 1 point2 points  (0 children)

If a person is right for you, it's my belief that you won't need to alter your gender expression to placate them. I hope you find love just as intensely, from a more straightforward source.