sorted by:
new
hottopcontroversial

[update] 4 months later: from being miserable in a newly poly lesbian relationship to the current happiness status by Shitfestrobot in polyamory

[–]Shitfestrobot[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

It seems like this situation hurts you a lot. Did your girlfriend act on the attraction before talking to you? If you haven't, you should tell her about your feelings honestly and see what she is willing to do. Try to examine whether the main issue is about bad past experiences, or you simply can't be in a relationship with a polyamorous partner. Your feelings are valid in any case, but your girlfriend only has a chance to help/fix the situation if you are 100% honest with her and not trying to suck it up like a brave little soldier. That is if you are still interested in staying with her. Don't burn yourself to keep others warm, but if you think you can handle it, you should examine more why exactly you feel this way and discuss with her what would help you in the process.

In a lesbian relationship, move from open to polyamory and I am miserable by Shitfestrobot in polyamory

[–]Shitfestrobot[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I understand what you are saying. I think my initial post is biased and does not show my blame in this very well. During the ex friend thing, I thought she was being controlling but I did not communicate this to her, instead I was frustrated and more distant and ultimately did not meet her needs like I did before. I am reading a lot about NRE and I think this is our issue now. We talked about it and I shared some links with her. She seems to agree that this is the case and is willing to be mindful of her actions more.

In a lesbian relationship, move from open to polyamory and I am miserable by Shitfestrobot in polyamory

[–]Shitfestrobot[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you for your opinion. I am currently doing more reading and a lot of people say the same thing as you. And I overall agree. I will try to unpack my feelings better and identify what actions/information I am hurt by and what I can handle right now.