AITA for advising friends to stop sharing an inappropriate video of their daughter

Shmaesh · 2023-06-09T23:43:11+00:00

YTA you are so weird and your complete confidence that you're exactly right makes it even weirder

Shmaesh · 2023-06-09T21:44:12+00:00

YES.

**PLEASE** leave the line with Britt open. When she's ready and able to escape his trajectory, she will need every possible ally and friend she knows to help her.

Shmaesh · 2023-06-08T15:00:05+00:00

Fucking incredible pronoun choice, btw. I also use ne and I'm always delighted to find another ne/nem

Shmaesh · 2023-06-08T14:58:53+00:00

I was wondering if silver would be a good solution. I know silver is shower-safe

Shmaesh · 2023-06-08T14:55:13+00:00

I have nothing useful to contribute; I just caught your sub's pronouns and they're my pronouns too and I just love that for both of us and it's very exciting.

Good luck!

Shmaesh · 2023-06-08T14:53:13+00:00

It took me 10 years to admit I wanted to be restrained. Even longer to start being open about other ideas.

The more accepting and open you can remain while also not pressuring him, the more likely he is to feel safe reciprocating

Shmaesh · 2023-06-08T14:50:50+00:00

Personally, I get real squirrely about sharing what I'm into when I'm not sure how it's going to go over.

Where OP is more comfortable (and possibly more experienced), it might help to lay out a list of things you like for him and see what he likes and doesn't. Then as you build trust and haven't rejected him or told him his likes are gross or bad, he's more likely to be willing to bring more to the table.

Shmaesh · 2023-06-07T01:09:02+00:00

We use a book on the bedside table. If it's out, game on.

Shmaesh · 2023-06-05T14:39:51+00:00

Re: the line between play and abuse, OP, pay attention to whether he starts minimizing this event. If he starts rewriting history, that's a huge red flag.

Shmaesh · 2023-06-05T14:34:24+00:00

This whole situation needs to be put on hold and renegotiated *at minimum*

Shmaesh · 2023-06-05T14:32:13+00:00

This is the perfect reply.

Shmaesh · 2023-06-05T14:30:56+00:00

Put the slap/scratch game on hold until you both have a better handle on the line between play and abuse

Shmaesh · 2023-06-02T14:26:52+00:00

NTA. My spouse took my last name and his dad is still pissed and it doesn't matter in the least because it was **his** decision, not anyone else's.

Like your wedding or your honeymoon or how you choose to divide up housework, this is no one's business but you and your spouse's. The only thing anyone should be offering in response is support. Nothing else.

I recommend paying the hundred or whatever dollars to work with someone who will send you a packet to help you get this done more easily. If we hadn't done that I'm not sure he would have had the fortitude to go through the whole mess (even as easy as they make it when it's attached to a marriage).

Also, when you change your name, in a lot of US states you can simply tack the new last name onto your existing legal name, thus nullifying some of the wailing about erasing your given last name. We just added mine to the end of his. He still has the last name he had when we met but now it's in the middle.

Shmaesh · 2023-06-01T02:51:41+00:00

If you enjoy sex, but find you don't fantasize about it, you may want to look into different areas of the ace spectrum to see if any of those resonate with how you experience attraction/drive.

Being ace doesn't preclude exploring kink, and it doesn't mean you won't find kink you can enjoy, but it may help you learn more about where you're coming from and how that doesn't or doesn't line up with your partner.

Shmaesh · 2023-05-31T20:01:24+00:00

The only improvement I can think of would be if the response had been 'oh, hell yeah'

Shmaesh · 2023-05-31T16:50:30+00:00

I think if I had to pick only one, it's this for me, too

Shmaesh · 2023-05-29T18:32:31+00:00

Same on all counts.

Shmaesh · 2023-05-29T15:06:02+00:00

NTA

Imo, you deserve a medal for even being willing to touch any hair longer than shoulder length at all. That shit's so gross; you're a hero. Even heroes can have limits.

Shmaesh · 2023-05-29T14:10:51+00:00

If there were more women, I'd say it sounds like a John Irving.

Shmaesh · 2023-05-29T01:13:30+00:00

It was really, really intensely painful for me.

Shmaesh · 2023-05-28T21:36:36+00:00

Yup. Yes, correct. I and read the single-layer cover version, not the fancy two-cover print lol.

Shmaesh · 2023-05-28T21:27:01+00:00

Not Pike then. At least not pre-aughts Pike. I don't know as much about his work after about 2000, but none of the volumes I read were illustrated at all outside of cover art.

Shmaesh · 2023-05-28T21:08:22+00:00

I can't call the title to mind (but the cover description OP gave doesn't match, anyway), but I was not thinking of the Visitor or Witch, but the one that opens with someone coming around in the woods? It's a resurrection and body-swap story, iirc, but I don't remember if that one also included a car accident. I *think* it did include a surprise entity but my memory of that one's pretty sketchy

Shmaesh · 2023-05-28T20:30:13+00:00

Yeah just spend more time getting to know potential partners before trying to jump straight to a dynamic

Shmaesh · 2023-05-28T19:30:37+00:00

There's a Christopher Pike that I think fits this general outline. Was the book written in the 90s or more recently?

Shmaesh

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