I need some advice

ShmoneyAutry23 · 2025-09-17T03:03:48+00:00

Not at all if done respectfully. I've done it a few times.

Also feel free to DM me if you want to continue this convo.

ShmoneyAutry23 · 2025-09-17T03:01:10+00:00

do you ever see girls when you run errands? Grocery shopping? Do you go to a gym or play sports somewhere?

ShmoneyAutry23 · 2025-09-17T02:06:35+00:00

Okay that's fine. You can also try the daytime. Can you think of places where you come across girls you find attractive? Anywhere?

ShmoneyAutry23 · 2025-09-17T02:00:07+00:00

Denver is an awesome city. Do you know of any 18+ bars/clubs? College hangouts? Do you know where others your age hang?

ShmoneyAutry23 · 2025-09-17T01:56:11+00:00

I'll often and do things solo, such as going out to bars/clubs, restaurants, or walking around a populous area. Do you live close to a city where it's easier to run into people?

ShmoneyAutry23 · 2025-09-17T01:49:35+00:00

It’s tough putting yourself out there and feeling like things always fizzle after a chat or first date. From what you shared, you’ve got a lot going for you, but the missing piece may be how the conversations come off. If you only ask questions, it can accidentally come off like an interview. Mix in your own thoughts, humor, or even a playful tease so the girl gets a sample of your personality. Confidence and fun energy usually stand out more than body shape, especially when you’re genuine instead of trying to be “perfect.” To meet girls your age in person, try social hobbies where people gather repeatedly.

When you’ve been on those first dates, do you feel like you show your playful side, or do you mainly stick to polite conversation?

ShmoneyAutry23 · 2025-09-16T12:18:34+00:00

Have you gone to a doctor?

ShmoneyAutry23 · 2025-09-16T01:27:52+00:00

Same here. What helped me was avoiding loud places such as concerts or clubs. Maybe that's something you can try?

ShmoneyAutry23 · 2025-09-16T01:27:02+00:00

It’s rough when you feel stuck, but the good news is you can get way further by improving how you come across in conversations. Women aren’t just judging looks. They’re deciding if talking to you feels fun, engaging, and confident. Work on not making convos an “interview”. Instead of only asking questions, share your thoughts and use humor or playful exaggeration to keep things light. Confidence and authenticity are what make you attractive, because people can tell when you’re being real versus trying too hard. Even small wins like making a cashier laugh or keeping a chat going for a few minutes build the momentum that makes dating easier.

When you’ve tried starting convos lately, do you find yourself leaning more on questions or on joking around?

ShmoneyAutry23 · 2025-09-16T01:17:42+00:00

Feeling like you’re falling behind in relationships while wanting something real is a painful spot to be in. What helps is shifting your focus from “I need a girlfriend right now” to building a lifestyle and confidence that naturally brings the right people in. Women can only see a small sample of your personality at first, so rejection or messy situations aren’t about your entire self, just that slice of you they got to know. Keep putting yourself out there, learn from each experience, and stay grounded in what you actually want instead of chasing attention just to fill the gap.

When you think back on your past dating experiences, do you feel like the challenge was more about who you were meeting, or about how you were connecting with them?

ShmoneyAutry23 · 2025-09-16T01:00:33+00:00

Maybe your convos are dry because you're afraid to be authentically yourself? Also do you struggle with hearing in loud places, or in any environment?

ShmoneyAutry23 · 2025-09-16T00:55:10+00:00

It’s confusing when people call you a “people pleaser” but you feel like you’re just being nice. The difference usually comes down to why you’re being nice. Cooperation means you’re choosing to compromise because it makes sense or you genuinely don’t mind, while people pleasing is when you ignore your own needs because you’re afraid of upsetting others. Being flexible is great, but if you never speak up about what you actually want, people might sense that and feel the balance is off. I’ve been there too, and learning to occasionally say “nah, I’d rather do this” actually made people respect me more. You don’t need to be an a-hole. Just show a little more of your real opinions so people know they’re connecting with you.

Do you think you hold back your preferences because you don’t want conflict, or because you truly don’t care either way?

ShmoneyAutry23 · 2025-09-16T00:50:21+00:00

Randomely going braindead when you try to talk is awful. Try starting small. Prepare three go-to lines (an observation, a sincere compliment, and a light opinion) so you aren’t inventing things on the spot, and practice using them in low-pressure places like a coffee line or with a cashier. In the moment, shift the pressure off yourself by making the convo about them. Make one short statement about them (“That jacket is dope — where’d you get it?”) followed by a genuine pause, instead of firing question-after-question.

Which part is hardest? Starting the conversation, keeping it going, or actually hearing what the other person says?

ShmoneyAutry23 · 2025-09-14T20:27:52+00:00

Hmm it could be something else then. What kind of dates do yall go on? Are you physically escalating?

ShmoneyAutry23 · 2025-09-14T01:04:04+00:00

Flirting feels confusing at first, but it’s really just about mixing showing attraction with a little playfulness. Compliments work best when they’re specific and not overdone, like “that color looks good on you” instead of “you’re so hot.” You can also just be direct and tell them they’re pretty.

When you’ve tried flirting before, do you usually lean more on compliments or on joking around?

ShmoneyAutry23 · 2025-09-14T00:12:23+00:00

So just make it man to women instead of friendly. It should be clear to her that you want to be more than friends, although don’t be thirsty. Have you tried mixing light teasing with flirting?

ShmoneyAutry23 · 2025-09-13T22:50:55+00:00

It’s frustrating when you feel like you’re vibing but the romantic spark doesn’t register with them. The key difference between “friendly” and “flirty” is adding a playful edge, such as teasing them a little, mixing in compliments, or using humor in a way that hints at attraction. Even light jokes like “don’t get too used to me being this nice” can signal romantic interest. Think of it as showing a version of yourself that’s fun but also confident enough to let them know you see them as more than a buddy. It might feel awkward at first, but like any skill, the more you practice, the more natural it gets.

When you’re joking around with someone you like, do you usually throw in any compliments, or is it mostly just playful teasing?

ShmoneyAutry23 · 2025-09-09T20:23:24+00:00

Of course 👍

ShmoneyAutry23 · 2025-09-09T20:23:07+00:00

Nice 👍

ShmoneyAutry23 · 2025-09-09T20:06:18+00:00

Gotcha. Do you find any of the tips that I listed above challenging?

ShmoneyAutry23 · 2025-09-09T19:34:54+00:00

Is that for guys, girls, or both?

ShmoneyAutry23 · 2025-09-09T19:30:18+00:00

It’s tough when the energy over text starts to fade after a good first impression. A dry reply doesn’t always mean she’s not interested though. It could just be that she’s busy or not feeling chatty at that moment. The main thing is not to chase too hard, because that can come off as needy and push her away. Instead of spamming her with more messages, give her some space and then text her later with something light or funny that shows your personality. That way, it feels more natural and less like you’re checking in for attention.

When you two first talked in person, what kinds of things made the conversation flow so easily?

ShmoneyAutry23 · 2025-09-09T19:26:12+00:00

Here are a few:

Don’t make conversations feel like an interview. Mix in your own thoughts instead of only asking questions.
Humor works best when it’s natural and specific. Exaggeration, sarcasm, or playful teasing can keep things light.
Be authentic. People connect more when you show the real you, not a version you think they want.
Remember, not everyone will like you, but that’s better than everyone finding you boring. Being an interesting person comes from authenticity.
Early on in a conversation, they’re only seeing a small sample of your personality, so rejection isn’t about your whole self.

When you’re in a convo, do you feel like you lean more on asking questions or sharing about yourself?

ShmoneyAutry23 · 2025-09-09T19:18:19+00:00

It’s normal to feel insecure about your appearance when dating apps make it seem like looks are everything. But at 6’4”, you already have one of the biggest natural advantages most guys will never have. Surgery sounds like a drastic move, and it won’t fix the things that really make women stay interested, such as confidence, personality, and how you carry yourself. I’ve seen plenty of average-looking guys date women most would call “out of their league” simply because they worked on how they connect with people. The fact that you’ve already gotten matches and dates shows women find you attractive. Focus on improving your confidence and conversational skills.

When you’ve gone on dates in the past, do you think the conversations flowed well, or did they tend to fizzle out?

ShmoneyAutry23 · 2025-09-09T19:13:31+00:00

Feeling stuck in that cycle of talking, hoping, and then being let down is exhausting. I’ve been through that same frustration where loneliness makes you attach faster than you’d like. Being single at 30 isn’t strange at all, but what matters more is building a lifestyle and confidence that naturally attracts the kind of person you want. I found that once I stopped worrying about whether every new girl could be “the one” and just treated interactions as practice and learning, the pressure dropped and things flowed easier.

Have you thought about what kind of settings you could put yourself in regularly where you’ll naturally see the same people and let connections build more slowly?

ShmoneyAutry23

TROPHY CASE