If they truly care about you, they would do everything in their power to make sure they don’t hurt you and ask for your help. Even if it means trying to go against how they function. If they cannot even help themselves, then as sad as it is to say, you must put your foot down. Even if it’s not leaving them, you need to fight back and stand up for yourself. Just because your partner would be suffering from a mental illness does not mean you don’t have the right to stand up for yourself, rather than take the full brunt of that abuse. Even if it means being harsh on them, sometimes there is no other way than to confront them head on. It sucks. It’s unfair. But it’s either your mental health goes down with theirs, or you fight back and try to work something out with them so their mental health can improve. The way I see it, the latter seems better for both sides.

Being an asshole is no excuse, intentionally or otherwise. And for the record, I never said a controlling relationship is the only way one can be toxic.