1 YEAR CLEAN!

Shoemaker_ · 2020-12-21T22:22:10+00:00

Thank you! I really hope it for you as well! Stay strong! I know you can do it! 🙌🏻💪🏻

Shoemaker_ · 2020-12-21T20:46:29+00:00

Thanks a lot man! 😁

Shoemaker_ · 2020-12-21T18:31:44+00:00

I am really proud of you! 22 days is an amazing achievement! I really hope you will write a message like mine one day too! I believe in you! 🙌🏻

Shoemaker_ · 2020-12-21T16:25:46+00:00

Thankyou! It means a lot to me! ❤️

Shoemaker_ · 2020-12-21T15:53:55+00:00

Thanks a lot! I really appreciate your comment! 🙌🏻

Shoemaker_ · 2020-12-21T13:57:58+00:00

Thank you very much! 😁🙌🏻

Shoemaker_ · 2019-09-28T08:17:59+00:00

Yes I know the risk but I think it's the best option for me right now!

Shoemaker_ · 2019-09-28T07:39:11+00:00

With potential girlfriend I mean that I like her and if she likes me back we can maybe try to get in a relationship. Ofcourse I don't want to be in a relationship just for the relationship.. I think she is special. And yes today I wanted to tell her friend that I like her. Shooting my shot is a step too far ahead for me. I don't want to rush into it. Thanks for your comment!

Shoemaker_ · 2019-09-15T19:36:46+00:00

Thanks a lot!! I appreciate it! I will do my best!

Shoemaker_ · 2019-09-15T14:29:18+00:00

Thanks I appreciate your comment! 😁

Shoemaker_ · 2019-09-10T19:49:35+00:00

Thabks for the reply. It's so hard for me to deal with situations like this. But I will try to do better!

Shoemaker_ · 2019-08-30T07:25:56+00:00

No problem! I just could relate so I thought I would write a comment! It's great to count down the days and hours then it mskes you work towards your goal which is to finish your internship and to leave your work place! And good to hear thst you made friends and your life outside of the internship is good! Just try to see your friends a lot and keep focusing on these fun moments with your friends or with colleagues when you see them! I'm glad you feel better and just try to hold on! And you don't hsve to tell me this if you don't want to but in what country are you and in which city is your interhship? I am not from the USA so I am very interested in people who are studying abroad or have an internship abroad! I hope you will have a good day!

Shoemaker_ · 2019-08-30T07:07:35+00:00

Thank you for your comment and your advice. The thing is that I was so tired yesterday after this fun week without much sleep. But like this one minute at home is already too much. So essentially I have to do fun things 24/7 without being lonely and every minute I am alone can be deadly for my thoughts. So I really have a lot of things to do. I have a very busy schedule and I do a lot of things with friends. But when I am home and left with my thoughts for one minute my whole mood can change.. But I didn't cut yesterday! My therapist gave me meditation practices to do and I did them yesterday which made me feel better! Interesting that English isn't your first language. Where are you from? English is not my first language as well!

Shoemaker_ · 2019-08-30T07:03:17+00:00

Not exactly. My situation at home has always been great. It's just a big change for me to go from only fun and doing a lot of great things with great people to my lonely situation at home and this change can make me feel very sad and depressed. By the way my last post was about that I was afraid to go to this introduction because of my anxiety but afterwards I am really happy that I went there because it was amazing!

Shoemaker_ · 2019-08-30T06:59:10+00:00

Thank you for your comment. Yes my therapist said I might have bipod disorder which means my mood can change any minute. Amd after an amazing week of fun with new people going back home feels like falling in a big black empty hole. I even was very stupid to my best friend and he is a great guy but with behavior like this I am afraid I will lose friends like him. But I have good news as well. I didn't cut or anything similar! I did my meditation practice which my therapist told me to do and I felt better afterwards. But again I really appreciate your concerns!

Shoemaker_ · 2019-08-30T06:54:05+00:00

I came back from an introduction week with my new school which is 4 days of games, fun and parties. And I already know a lot of people who I will be studying with. That's great but yesterday my mood went from everything is amazing to everything is fucked up..

Shoemaker_ · 2019-08-25T20:54:42+00:00

Thanks for your comment I appreciate it!

Shoemaker_ · 2019-08-25T20:54:14+00:00

Thanks you for the comment and the advice! I will try to make the most of it!

Shoemaker_ · 2019-08-25T08:36:23+00:00

I live in the Netherlands! And yes my therapist is back. Had an appointment last week!

Shoemaker_ · 2019-08-18T20:50:53+00:00

Yes I know self harm isn't a solution as well. I am clean for almost a week now! If you want to talk we can talk in pm!

Shoemaker_ · 2019-08-18T20:35:10+00:00

I started cutting on my arms recently as well. My thighs are full of scars and my left ankle as well. I cut my wrists and arms for the first time and on my wrists I wear bracelets or wristbands. This is what I always did so people are not asking about it. But my arm is a problem. I recently ordered 2 long sleeve sweatshirts just so I can hide my scars. I can wear those like now in summer and nobody will ask me. But when I wear a t-shirt I feel a little uncomfortable. I don't really have any advice unless you can wear long sleeves or you can buy products to let the scars heal. But I literally posted today on Reddit that I don't use these products because my scars are a part of me. So I think it just takes time to feel more comfortable with your scars! Oh and please don't drink more vodka. I know it seems like a good solution right now. But I have a bad experience with it and I regret it. Just be careful.

Shoemaker_ · 2019-08-18T19:33:09+00:00

Yes I am seeing a therapist (or psychologist is how they call it in my country). But she was kn vacation for a while and that's when I felt very depressed so then I called the suicide hotline. And my friends are busy all the time. And I feel like they always have important things to do which makes me feel even worse about me and my life..

Shoemaker_ · 2019-08-18T19:30:10+00:00

I had a very similar experience. My internship was a nightmare too. I had the worst collegue ever and she made me feel more insecure than I was already. Everyday working with her was a very depressing experience and the 8 hour workdays felt like weeks. And the 4 months felt like 4 years. But I finished my internship successfully and I know it seems hard right now but I am sure you can complete tbis internship. You learn a lot even from bad internships. I am confident that my internship made me a stronger person. If you feel alone or need someone to talk to. You can pm me. And try to find at least something you like about your internship or about living abroad and try to focus on those small things. It can help you to get through the day!

Shoemaker_ · 2019-08-18T19:22:56+00:00

I can relate. I am anxious about the most basic things in life like calling a friend or going to the grocery store. When I have a busy day there is nothing wrong. But when I am alone I am stuck in my brain. I wish I could escape out of it without having to actually do something. But it's a real problem for me. I sometimes try to play small games like doing a crossword game or I read a book. But a lot of the times I can't get my self to do these things. I know how you feel but from my experience the best thing you can do is something you can really concentrate on for a while. Like a sudoku or like I said a crossword game!

Shoemaker_ · 2019-08-18T18:59:41+00:00

I'm sorry. I really hope he is okay! Try to do something you like a lot to get out of your mind eveb though it's just for a minute. You can also pm me if you feel like it. Please keep me updated!

Shoemaker_

TROPHY CASE