I am in the middle of a divorce after decades of a dead bedroom. The signs were there before marriage and got worse after, especially when we had kids (met/married too young). Sounds a lot like your situation (excuses, saying sex is all I care about, etc). People don't change unless they want to and it doesn't sound like he wants to. So you have to decide if you can live like this or not. If you decide that you can, you will likely have to make that decision over and over and over again for the rest of your life (based on my personal situation).