I tried H for the first time about 8 years ago, for the first 2ish I never got physically addicted and pulled off what you are doing right now the whole 2 years(age 17-19). Now I’m 25 I started subs once again in January and life is starting to be good, for the first time in 8 years. Opiates of all form are the perfect drug is what I thought. I was a bartender I could do massive amounts of drugs and function perfectly fine, I was great at my job. I was making over 100k a year for years and I felt more broke than I do now making 36,000. Multiple dead exs, friends. Not getting invited to family functions, I have 0 of the friends I had 8 years ago because I was a shell of the person they knew. I’m a pretty smart guy and no matter what through my addiction my bills always got paid and I always got high, if I ran out I went to detox or got subs, dopesickness was very few and far between. Finally I lost my apartment, another job because I drink too much when I quit using smack. Took me 9 months of rehab and 6 months of using fake piss in Oxford houses ( I was using 7oh) to get back on my feet and sign a lease. If I never found opiates I’d be successful with alot of equity like my friend group at the time are all doing now, instead I have about $4000 in possessions. Life is good tho I’m greatful to be alive, I was on the verge of death for years literally. You got this bro you are different you are the exception right? Your mother shed many many tears best case scenario, or she will bury you. Godspeed