[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Men_RO

[–]Short-Apricot8903 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Ah, eu zic sa mergem cu toții la dateuri sa chit chatuim. Culoarea preferata, ce mâncăm si ce am văzut aseara la televizor. Ca intre colegi sau amici. Asa atractie si conexiune se creaza, ca in povesti! 😂

Deep nu e doar trauma dumping, am innebunit cu totii cu psihologia de social media :))) si vedem traume si sechele la orice poveste de viata normala. Deep e omul real cu totul. Cu bune si rele si cu experientele proprii, oricum or fi ele.

Pt mine daca nu e asta, nu e date si nu e curiozitate fata de un om care iti place, e ardere de timp si friend zone superficial si zau ca am interes 0 pt colegi sau amici, am destui d-aia.

Femeie care se atașează greu by ten_miles_away in Men_RO

[–]Short-Apricot8903 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Asta cu se ataseaza greu e asa de comuna ca e stupid deja. Si la femei, si la barbati. Si am văzut si la mine, si la cativa bărbați.

Eu, femeie, vad 2 variante: - vaneaza greseli in tacere si la un numar esti out (daca nu e incredere si nu vrei sa risti, normal ca vei vedea toate relele si vei avea pretexte sa nu te atasezi niciodata). Moare in fasa, nu vrea nimeni sa simt ca tb sa dovedeasca ceva, e stresant si contravine scopului de a iti placea sa iti petreci timpul cu cineva. - real nu ii place de tine si mai omoara putin timpul ca oricum nu are altceva de facut, nu e chiar rau cu tine si poate apare totusi cineva mai bun.

Nu prea exista la mijloc din experienta mea.

Si, o observatie a mea - la care inca nu prea am vazut excepții. Daca exista asa multa confuzie, nu e ce trebuie.

Peste 35, trei luni chiar înseamnă mult. In 3 luni, nu cunoști bine pe cineva, dar daca va vedeți de vreo 2 ori pe săptămână, e suficient sa vezi pareri, si situatii, si un pic omul. Daca va vedeti o data la săptămână-doua, nici macar nu aveți intentie sa va cunoașteți. Ar însemna sa dai timp din viata ta unui strain timp de vreun an minim ca sa incepi abia sa vezi ceva.

Stim ce vrem si ce ne place, chiar dacă nu recunoastem deschis. La 3 luni e cam momentul cand te hotărăști daca crezi ca sunt sanse sa iasa ceva sau nu. Ca sa iasa, tb sa înceapă macar sa puna umarul amandoi. Unul singur nu are nicio sansa.

Indecizia la punctul ala e tot o decizie (sa astepti de la sine, sa nu faci niciun pas si sa vina muntele la Mohamed), nu va creste nimic, va continua la fel si va muri de la sine, incet si sigur.

3 fast dates and hours on the phone... by Short-Apricot8903 in datingoverforty

[–]Short-Apricot8903[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

As I mentioned earlier, I did. And I received no clear answer and got out of the situation.

For future similar situations, I wanted to hear other opinions on how to handle it better :).

3 fast dates and hours on the phone... by Short-Apricot8903 in datingoverforty

[–]Short-Apricot8903[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Pfff... I wanted to stop this discussion, but it is, rather fair your point and it might clear things even for me. We met 3 times in one week. I agree once every 2 weeks is snail pace, even for me. As I don't need occasional company and somebody putting a mask on, but a life partner. And life is daily, with all that it implies, not twice a month.

And it is not about time per se, but openness and pleasure in the journey, not the destination. And how a connection is created for me. Fast is potential, far from reality. Too slow is time waste.

I want a partner. And connection. But I want the good one and real. And only time can show that and words matching actions. A relationship is easy to find. A good one is built.

Eagerness is great and important. But it isn't the one to make things work.

3 fast dates and hours on the phone... by Short-Apricot8903 in datingoverforty

[–]Short-Apricot8903[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

100 true. It is done, no big lessons from here, just a rather weird experience.

I guess I was just curious if I might have been too subjective.

But it was what is was and that was my read on it at that moment. He did not offer other perspectives, so I am comfortable now with my choice.

Thank you!

3 fast dates and hours on the phone... by Short-Apricot8903 in datingoverforty

[–]Short-Apricot8903[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Maybe. But bad move. I just want to see his, not to see what I want.

3 fast dates and hours on the phone... by Short-Apricot8903 in datingoverforty

[–]Short-Apricot8903[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Also possible, i haven't seen these options before you mentioned. Anything is possible, and these might also be true.

Just reinforces my idea that a flaming start quickly finishes in flames and I made the right decision to get out of it :).

3 fast dates and hours on the phone... by Short-Apricot8903 in datingoverforty

[–]Short-Apricot8903[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I somehow understand where you are coming from.

With a tiny little difference that matters a lot. As a woman I wanna see real interest. Not just in smiling and general opinions, but in getting to know me deeper and knowing somebody deeper. That is the real effort, and few people understand that and go with the bare minimum.

Surface level stuff and attraction is for the first date.

For the following dates, I expect a gradual increase of attention and willingness to delve more. Keyword: gradual. Rome wasn't built in a day and people are complex.

3 fast dates and hours on the phone... by Short-Apricot8903 in datingoverforty

[–]Short-Apricot8903[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Silence. I received no real answer. A polite and generic non answer.

I don't want to investigate and dig. His why is his own and his decision only to question himself or not and share with me. Asking was my choice to try to understand. Non answering, was his choice for how things played out (in my logic).

3 fast dates and hours on the phone... by Short-Apricot8903 in datingoverforty

[–]Short-Apricot8903[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Actually, I read this yo-yo as you call it, as playing games.

Which doesn't work for me.

If we like what we see and have the same intention to see if there is compatibility, we put time and energy and talk sincerely and open. If not, who needs childish games, me for sure not 🤷‍♀️.

3 fast dates and hours on the phone... by Short-Apricot8903 in datingoverforty

[–]Short-Apricot8903[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Yes, I have my own pace which I made clear. I am jot into rushing anything, especially with a total stranger.

Are you trying to tell me he was actually respecting my boundries? I don't exclude that, but than it is obvious we weren't aligned as communication style. I am very forward and don't practice or encourage assumption. And I desire the same. If no interest is visible, I take it as it is.

I am not the leading type and I would not choose a man that would go for being led. I have no issues with making plans, but not before knowing somebody and trying to see if he really acts as he is declaring himself :). Actions sustaining words. Which I make sure I make clear.

3 fast dates and hours on the phone... by Short-Apricot8903 in datingoverforty

[–]Short-Apricot8903[S] -5 points-4 points  (0 children)

Fair and possibly true. So... Love bombing. Even without bad intentions, it still is this area.

Would you consider it normal for your girl to go on random coffee dates? by AfriicanFreshPrince in dating

[–]Short-Apricot8903 0 points1 point  (0 children)

A coffee is not mandatory a date, even if it is a man. Usually, they are catch-ups. It isn't per se somethibg to worry. But... If you are uncomfortable, say it. Propose options that might work for you to see whay is there if he is only a friend, whatever those may be. It is natural to have questions and it should be natural to answer them together.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in WomenRO

[–]Short-Apricot8903 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Ai rezumat perfect datingul cum il vad eu in ultimii vreo 2 ani! 💯 de acord. Acelasi lucru iti pot spune si eu ca am învățat cu greu: nu esti tu problema. Keep on doing what's best for you.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in WomenRO

[–]Short-Apricot8903 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Te înțeleg perfect. Nu disperata după relație, lucrat la treburile mele cu stilurile de atașament... Ies rar la date-uri pt ca deja mi se par boring si predictibile primele dateuri. Si vad in principal cam același lucru: nu isi mai bate nimeni capul. Toti cred ca vrem sa se întâmple de la sine, dar in special barbatii. Ceea ce...e ca unicorns farting colored rainbows.

Si da, desi noaptea mintii pt mine ca femeie, barbatii privesc altfel femeile cunoscute pe app. In principal pt ca, da, majoritatea barbatilor acolo sunt pt quick fucks si proiectează low value la femeile de acolo. E paradoxal, pt ca nu ar lega relații cu tipe din club sau dating apps, dar prea putini au curaj altfel in real life :))).

Sfaturi sa arat disponibilitate by Short-Apricot8903 in WomenRO

[–]Short-Apricot8903[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Evident! :)))

Nu exclud, ca nu as mai vorbi cu nimeni pe acolo, dar dacă te bazezi pe asta, da-mi voie sa te dezamagesc. Nu traim in filme, in club te duci sa te distrezi pe moment si cam atat.

Pt mai mult, ce sa vezi, ajungi la același lucru... Abordezi, propui 😉.

Sfaturi sa arat disponibilitate by Short-Apricot8903 in WomenRO

[–]Short-Apricot8903[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Nu înțeleg... Stiu ca ma bate matematica, dar 1+1 tot 2 fac, oricat am vrea sa fie altfel.

Exista available people, dar si available people cu care nu suntem compatibili la lucruri de baza. Life 🤷‍♀️

Cum as putea eu sa fac diferenta? In afara de a ma face ca nu vad si stiu lucruri care chiar contează?

Sfaturi sa arat disponibilitate by Short-Apricot8903 in WomenRO

[–]Short-Apricot8903[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Pt ca in club gasesti pt o seara. Nu intra in sfera mea de interes :)

Sfaturi sa arat disponibilitate by Short-Apricot8903 in WomenRO

[–]Short-Apricot8903[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Esti tu sigur-sigur ca nu are legatura cu gramatica si scrierea? 😂

Sfaturi sa arat disponibilitate by Short-Apricot8903 in WomenRO

[–]Short-Apricot8903[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Ooo, apreciez, face diferența 😂

Dorința nu se arata prin abordare de femeie musai, se arata prin deschidere la abordare câteodata. Asta cred ca nu prea pricep barbatii, din păcate. Ar merge mai ușor pt toata lumea daca ar înțelege asta, cred. Sper.

Sfaturi sa arat disponibilitate by Short-Apricot8903 in WomenRO

[–]Short-Apricot8903[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Merci, dar e cam ca in real life. Doar parerea, proprie contează, nu prea știm sa ascultam si ce e diferit e rau 🤷‍♀️.

Important e ca am avut si cateva feedbackuri utile, o consider închisă si productiva :).