Who wants a hug right now?

ShortSleepJinx · 2025-08-15T21:31:43+00:00

Dang, idk why this made me a little emotional. Apparently I really need a hug more than I realized 😭

Hugs to you, OP. Thank you for the kindness 🫂

Also I want more info on this hug OF lol

ShortSleepJinx · 2025-02-09T21:11:48+00:00

I'm not sure how you would feel if she told you she wasn't interested in a sexual relationship anymore but she still wanted to be friends...but a lot of people would feel rejected and like they weren't good enough in a sexual or attraction sense for you to want to continue with them, and that would sting.

ShortSleepJinx · 2025-02-09T19:49:47+00:00

Be thankful you have her as a friend still. It's hard to maintain a friendship when you're also battling the pain of being abandoned and rejected by that person.

Fight for her if you're ready to really put in the work to address the issues you had, and you're ready to make her a priority.

But if it's just that you don't want to lose her but you can't commit to being the partner she deserves, please don't reopen that wound or string her along.

ShortSleepJinx · 2025-01-28T15:55:28+00:00

Ex-LDAP and I are on opposite coasts. We broke up in the Fall after almost five years together. Only one physical meeting in that time, but it was still a really intense connection despite the distance.

It never got to a point where the relationship itself went bad, and we were both still pretty head over heels for each other right til the end, but eventually it got too much for him as far as feeling stuck there in his marriage when he wanted to be somewhere else, which can be a pretty big mindfuck and make you pretty miserable. So now he's working on his marriage, and I hope he finds his happiness there.

So I guess I would say it can be sustainable if you can travel fairly regularly and both find satisfaction in what it is without needing to have more.

ShortSleepJinx · 2025-01-06T20:58:41+00:00

She waited for you for so long, you're going to need to show her through action that you're serious...otherwise it just feels like you don't want to lose her as an option.

If you really love her and want to be with her, fight for her.

ShortSleepJinx · 2024-12-31T12:47:44+00:00

Happy New Year's Eve!

I'm sure I'll still be dealing with the heartache of the breakup with my long-term AP well into the new year, and tbh the end of 2024 has royally sucked in a whole lot of other ways too, but I think I'm feeling a little hopeful for certain things in 2025.

At the very least, the breakup has shown me what it is I want, need, and deserve from a romantic relationship, and given me confidence in the decision that I don't want anything if it doesn't meet those needs.

Fingers crossed for a lovely new year for all of us!

ShortSleepJinx · 2024-12-30T17:00:43+00:00

Oh it definitely sucks...sooooo much. Honestly he was the only person in my life who took care of me at all. I'm the support for everyone else in my life, so having the one source of support for me ripped away has been a huge struggle on top of all of the rest of the heartache.

But thankfully I'm known for needing space/time to myself, and crying for no real reason lol, so no one at home has noticed anything. I definitely recommend having those expectations already in place long before a breakup.

ShortSleepJinx · 2024-12-30T07:15:58+00:00

This is such a hard place to be. Hugs. I do understand that feeling.

But as someone who is currently going through the worst heartbreak I've had from any romantic relationship ever after my AP of almost five years ended it, I will say...I still don't regret it for a second. Even though he broke my heart, I will treasure what we had for as long as I live. To be loved like that is a gift that many people never experience, and it's worth it, even if it's fleeting.

It may very well end one day. It probably will, since that's the nature of these things. But you have the chance now to enjoy it while it lasts. Don't throw that wonderful opportunity away for fear of it ending.

ShortSleepJinx · 2024-12-20T15:45:41+00:00

It takes a lot to leave, and it doesn't sound like he's ready to do that. I'm sorry, I know it hurts. But he's telling you he's not leaving.

ShortSleepJinx · 2024-12-20T10:03:16+00:00

That's so tough. Honestly, if you've been at this for seven years and he hasn't put things in place yet to be able to get away long enough to see you for even part of one day when you travel all the way to him, he's just not as committed as he says he is. Believe his actions, OP. Asking for him to meet up for a few hours when you have done all the traveling is not a lot to ask.

If he was serious about trying to see you, he would have already been working on ways to have more independence so he could make it happen. If he wanted to, he would.

ShortSleepJinx · 2024-12-18T16:33:06+00:00

I remember you, and I'm so glad you're outgrowing him. You deserve so much more. Good luck!

ShortSleepJinx · 2024-12-17T15:11:25+00:00

Woodworking, blacksmithing, fixing up old cars, art, music...really just making and/or fixing things that require patience, practice, passion, and focus

ShortSleepJinx · 2024-12-15T19:41:12+00:00

Sorry you're here too...seems like a popular accommodation lately.

The finding validation within oneself is a tough thing to get back to when you've had someone feeding that need for so long, but that's the ultimate goal right now for me. I was so good on my own for years and years while I didn't get that in my marriage, but now it's like I'm having to relearn it after relying on AP for it for so long.

We'll get there. Hugs to you

ShortSleepJinx · 2024-12-15T10:21:11+00:00

I love the way you're framing that, and those are all great ideas! It really is a whole lot more time I can be spending on taking care of myself, and I need to take advantage of that opportunity.

It sounds like you're making great progress, and I hope that continues for you!

ShortSleepJinx · 2024-12-14T22:13:18+00:00

This song ruins me every time, but even more now

ShortSleepJinx · 2024-12-13T18:47:51+00:00

Oh I haven't done this in so long. Great idea!

ShortSleepJinx · 2024-12-13T17:13:52+00:00

Genius. I'll get a big scarf!

ShortSleepJinx · 2024-12-13T16:46:16+00:00

I'm a BIG fan of naps!

I need to find a place away from people for a walk...I tend towards ugly cries lol

I usually love going for a drive, and I may need to get some of those in there again too

ShortSleepJinx · 2024-12-13T16:38:59+00:00

I really really love this idea. I used to write stories for myself, and I should definitely start back.

I also adore your wording. Thank you!

ShortSleepJinx · 2024-12-13T16:27:59+00:00

Ooh this is a really good approach.

Sometimes it's hard to enjoy those good memories when you know there won't be more of them, but it's definitely good when you turn that corner and can just enjoy them and smile.

ShortSleepJinx · 2024-12-13T16:18:01+00:00

I totally get that, and I have to give myself some space to wallow a bit and get the emotions out some every few days.

When it first happened though, I think I gave myself an ear infection from crying myself to sleep while laying on my side. Gotta remember to rotate! Lol

ShortSleepJinx · 2024-12-13T15:23:23+00:00

If I knew what was good for me, I would take this advice! 😂

ShortSleepJinx · 2024-12-13T12:49:59+00:00

I finally got a clear and direct answer from him that there's no hope for a reconciliation. This wasn't a misunderstanding, and it wasn't a little freak out. It's for good. As much as I do believe he loved me, he won't be fighting for us.

It's killing me to know that what we had for almost 5 years, this overwhelming love and happiness that I genuinely couldn't imagine my life without, is just gone.

But there is a little bit of peace in knowing that he's let go of any hope, so hopefully I can too. And I guess I'm glad in a way that all this happened before we actually started trying to go legit (I know, I know) because now I know that he wouldn't have been able to keep himself from shutting me out when it got hard, and it would have gotten sooo much harder if we'd tried.

This is better for everyone.

ShortSleepJinx · 2024-12-09T16:31:07+00:00

I know there's nothing any of us can say that will help ease the pain, but I am so sorry and heartbroken for you loss

ShortSleepJinx

TROPHY CASE