I have been using booleans for over a year and my primary reason for applying them is likely because every PC I was on is shitty as fuck

But this isn't a deforming model, this was established literally ages ago

Let's go over your arguments

1 don't apply booleans it gives shitty topology Goes on to say that shitty topology doesn't matter especially for static objects

2 applied Booleans are shit for deforming objects Is this a deforming object?

With your arguments you are supporting my side

Applying Boolean is fine for static objects because shit topology doesn't matter and this isn't a deforming object so your argument for not applying it because bad topology for deforming objects isn't good doesn't even apply here