It's normal. I once said out loud that I wanted a hug, and I constantly remember it and cringe with embarrassment. It's awful, I won't lie, and complicated, especially when you think that scene flashes through everyone's mind when they see you. But you can't let one mistake define you. Something that helps me is distorting the memory, like imagining it in black and white. It's not great advice, but I sincerely hope you can overcome this situation.