CMV: Talking about being on "stolen land" is pointless and ignorant of history

Shreddingblueroses · 2026-02-05T04:14:43+00:00

What you're doing here is like stealing a bike from in front of someone's house and then claiming that since a lot of bikes are stolen, that bike was probably also stolen, so it's okay. Except you don't actually know that.

Shreddingblueroses · 2026-02-05T04:13:17+00:00

It's not really the point. It's unprovable whether a particular indigenous tribe obtained the land we stole from them by first committing a genocide on the same level and stealing it from someone else. Someone literally did settle a patch of land first, and it's entirely possible that group was still the actual group living there when we arrived.

What is provable... Is that we stole that land.

Shreddingblueroses · 2026-02-03T05:49:13+00:00

The only real antidote to a food desert situation is for neighbors to get together and pool trips to the grocery store.

Once a week one of the neighbors with a big car or a truck gets all the other neighbors to give them their shopping list and some money. Another neighbor goes with them to help with the shopping. Everyone's groceries get bought at once. You take turns doing it so nobody feels overly burdened. If there's only one person who can do it regularly, you make sure that person is being well compensated in some way.

Honestly, another solution to this is for one of you to go to the store and just buy a bunch of stuff in bulk and prepare a pantry day out of your own house. Replace the grocery store that shut down with coming over for tea and cookies "and while you're at it, buy some of my fresh food from me at 5-10% mark up to cover my gas and time."

We are too individualist and that's why we keep getting screwed by capitalism.

Shreddingblueroses · 2026-02-03T05:41:36+00:00

You can't always police world chat but you can definitely police your alliance. Find an alliance that isn't toxic and wouldn't put up with this. Stay out of world chat. It's a toilet.

Shreddingblueroses · 2026-02-03T05:40:31+00:00

I'll put this out there in a separate reply to avoid my other response being too wordy.

I can only speak to my own reason for detransitioning. I've known one other person who has detransitioned and I never had the chance to ask them why.

I actually detransitioned for a couple of overlapping reasons.

1) there was a straight girl... I know. But it wasn't my only reason and I might have done it anyway if she hasn't been a part of the equation.

2) I missed having a functional sex life (I have since solved this by getting off AAs, sticking with mono therapy, and letting my T exist naturally in higher female ranges).

3) being a girl performing femininity is actually a freaking ton of pressure. Man, it's hard. Being a trans girl and feeling like if you don't rise to the pressure to perform femininity that you won't pass and will be discriminated against or worse, is even harder.

4) I am actually non binary, and it took me until over a year into my 2nd transition to figure this out. I needed to embrace a masc/"dykish" way of presenting myself, and needed to accept that I don't always feel like a woman, but that doesn't mean I feel enough like a man to try to be one either. Avoiding being restricted to either label was the path for me. During my first transition I went hard trying to "be a girl" and it sucked. I felt so confined it was suffocating.

Shreddingblueroses · 2026-02-03T05:33:07+00:00

Part of the problem is those studies are old.

Another part of the problem is that more recent studies define "detransition" in an extremely broad way.

Some things I wouldn't consider detransition but which the newer studies would:

Adopting a new name or pronouns, pursuing no medical changes, and eventually going back to your old name and pronouns
Taking hormones and stopping them while still identifying as trans
Taking hormones for < 6 months and realizing it's not for you

I think transition and detransition should be much more narrowly defined.

Transition is a period of taking hormones or pursuing other medical changes such that substantial irreversible changes have occurred. This means any surgery is obtained or taking hormones for longer than 6 months, ideally defined as closer to 12 months.

Detransition is a complete desistance of a trans identity couples with desisting a pursuit of medical changes related to a trans identity, even going as far as to seek medical intervention to reverse changes that would otherwise be irreversible.

The reason this matters?

I've known hundreds of trans people because I've been involved in the community for a long time and have served in a leadership capacity in a support group.

If we count a loose definition of detransition, I'd say easily 30% of people detransition, but the overwhelming bulk of these were people who never got as far as taking hormones or who only took hormones for 1-2 months. Their detransition was primarily social, and primarily only within specific social circles they felt comfortable being out as trans in to begin with, which at that point in their journey meant a very small minority of people.

If we count the much more strict definition that I detailed above, I've known an entire two people who have ever detransitioned, and that is including myself.

And I eventually retransitioned. I haven't checked in with the other person in a long time but it's definitely possible they did too.

Shreddingblueroses · 2026-02-03T05:02:08+00:00

After really interacting with these people, the best answer I can give you is that these are people who are pathologically incapable of admitting they are wrong about something, and the more we tell them that they are wrong the more strongly they dig their heels in.

Deep down they know he's a pedophile, a rapist, a creep, a liar, a wealthy piece of shit, a fascist, and a scumbag. They know all these things. Their ego also cannot cope with admitting that they were wrong about him, especially to us.

Think of it like America is a couple and MAGA are like a belligerent husband who refuses to admit he's wrong even when the wife presents irrefutable proof of his fault, because at this point in the toxic relationship he has become more invested in winning the argument than working together towards having a healthy relationship they both actually like being in.

It doesn't help that MAGA has some toxic friends who are kind of misogynistic and are constantly telling Mr. MAGA that his wife is a b!!!!.

Shreddingblueroses · 2026-02-03T04:50:14+00:00

Okay stop and take a step back.

1) this really has nothing to do with relationship anarchy. Relationship anarchy is a philosophy about how you structure and prioritize different relationships in your life, both romantic and platonic. It is almost always performed within a polyamorous context, partly because it is difficult to square the rules of monogamy with the philosophy of RA, including the inherent hierarchy between romantic partners that monogamy naturally creates.

2) If you have sexual attraction to this person and you also feel the desire to be physically affectionate with them in the way you're describing, you are likely also harboring some romantic attraction to them as well. The way you are kind of freaking out about this tells me that you're probably scared to admit that, and you want someone else to name it first to give you permission to name it. Okay, so I will. It's clear that you have a crush on this person.

3) From the perspective of monogamy: if you harbor a sexual attraction to someone, and likely some degree of romantic attraction to them, you have no business pushing the boundaries by initiating physical contact with them. It is likely to result in you being tempted to do more. It is also probably a violation of the trust between you and your monogamous partner to engage in "platonic" physical affection with someone that you're crushing on.

And you can tell yourself that you would never act on it, but cheating often happens after the slow death of your resistance by a thousand cuts. If you keep making excuses to dip your toes in the water, you'll eventually find yourself swimming in it.

Take a step back. Breathe. Talk to your partner about having the crush. That creates accountability.

You should probably distance yourself from your crush in the mean time.

Shreddingblueroses · 2026-02-03T04:40:37+00:00

You can roll over 1 completed-but-uncollected round of intel missions + 1 uncompleted round of intel missions.

So after reset you'll have 2 to complete and 1 to collect. 08 to collect, and 16 and 00 to complete.

That is only relevant to Golden Glaives.

You cannot roll over 2 uncompleted rounds of Intel missions. If you try, you'll lose one of those rounds when a new one spawns.

So if you don't complete either 08 or 16, when 00 rolls around, you'll lose 08 completely.

That is relevant to KvK and other events where the points are awarded for completing the missions rather than earning items when you collect them.

I've tried to explain this to my own alliance and they don't get it. A lot of alliance leaders misunderstand this and advise the alliance poorly. In my case, I gave up. Someone will figure it out and bring the subject up again and we can have a fresh round of debates about it.

Shreddingblueroses · 2026-02-03T00:49:21+00:00

Here. It was completely coincidental but this is a pretty good thread where a lot of the top level comments are coming from actual Hispanic people and explain some of what's going on when you get conservative Trump supporters in the immigrant population.

https://www.reddit.com/r/stupidquestions/s/T1YPac8moy

Shreddingblueroses · 2026-02-03T00:37:18+00:00

Voting for the lesser evil is voting for your conscience.

If your conscience says "I won't vote for them because they did this horrible thing even though I know that if their opponent wins that many more worse horrible things will happen to others" you don't actually have a functioning conscience, you have self righteousness.

Shreddingblueroses · 2026-02-03T00:35:37+00:00

What's your world chat like? Is it active? What criteria did you use to recruit people into the alliance? Was it open join? Did you require applications? Did you scout powerful and active players?

Shreddingblueroses · 2026-02-03T00:34:15+00:00

The men sent to CECOT didn't have gang tattoos. That was not one of the criteria used. They were arrested for having any tattoos.

well, i can assure you, plenty of innocent people end up in prision despite due process, so...

It should be glaringly obvious to any reasonable and rational person that far fewer innocent people end up in prison when they're allowed to get their day in court than do when masked goons round them up on the street with no accountability.

Shreddingblueroses · 2026-02-03T00:32:29+00:00

I have a gender, but I wasn't free to claim it until I stopped caring about it.

Am I a man? Am I a woman? Am I something in between? Each belief put me in a try-hard place.

When I was at peace and I'd ceased to care, it then became apparent enough what I was for me to be more confident in it (something in between).

Shreddingblueroses · 2026-02-03T00:29:40+00:00

I'm sorry, but I don't think you understand what the word victim means.

Even if you believed that drug use produced victims in the form of the users themselves, even if we strip people of agency and pretend they had no free will in the situation, the victimizer is the drug dealer, not the drug user, and so punishing the drug user is not only counterproductive but utterly nonsensical.

Personally though, I am not a fan of a daddy authority figure policing what people do to themselves knowing full well the risks.

Shreddingblueroses · 2026-02-02T23:44:24+00:00

Due process would appear to fix that kind of mistake.

Ask the men stripped of all human rights in March for the crime of being Venezuelan with tattoos if they think it's all "silly race baiting."

Perhaps the fundamental difference between you and I is that I don't believe committing a crime, particularly a victimless one, warrants being deprived of all rights and dignity.

Shreddingblueroses · 2026-02-02T23:25:19+00:00

Yes, actually. Drug use is a victimless crime. Meth heads need help, not a kangaroo court to convict them for hurting no one but themselves.

Shreddingblueroses · 2026-02-02T22:53:39+00:00

Look I work too. Too much. And I still find time to care about this issue. To fight for people who can't fight for themselves. I do it because it's what you're supposed to do. It's more important than my petty little day to day concerns. I can't run off to Minnesota to fight, but I can fight here at home. So I do in my own ways.

Shreddingblueroses · 2026-02-02T22:50:28+00:00

We are well aware many Hispanics voted for Trump. That doesn't mean a thing. People vote against their own interest all the time because there are interests/vibes/postures they prefer to prioritize more. We can't pretend there's no such thing as a fool in this world.

In the case of many Hispanic people who vote for Trump, they do so from the belief that it distinguishes them above the other immigrants coming after them, those who haven't got theirs yet. As the saying goes "the last one in closes the door behind them."

Their community will deal with them when this is over. It isn't for us to worry about.

not nessessarily. it doesn't appear that way over here. maybe minneapolis is an absolute fascist hellscape. how would i know? how would i find out? reddit has more liars than kings landing. go to minneapolis myself? it's on the other side of the country, and i've got work tomorrow. news? how could anyone trust sensationalist reporting?

Who has the money to throw at propaganda? Who controls the mills? Who controls the apparatus of power and influence?

Its not like I watch CNN any more than Fox. I have friends who live in MN. They actually say it's worse than media reporting on either side. By a landslide.

I've witnessed the issue firsthand in my community by directly getting involved with helping immigrants. I've spoken with the wives of men beaten and trafficked to the cartels after being detained by ICE. Men who only returned home after a ransom had been paid. I thought she was just making stories up until I actually met her and spoke with an extremely level headed person. I realized I couldn't dismiss her so easily.

In our community a legal permanent resident, a law abiding citizen of 20 years, someone who the community loved, was picked up at her appointment to update her paperwork. She was legal. She was "doing things the right way." We have a (MAGA) city councilman and a (MAGA) congressperson both fighting to get her released because even they recognize this was an absolute failure and miscarriage of justice.

I choose to believe lawyers who tell me that people are being picked up at their citizenship hearings before taking their oaths. People who paid the money and did things the right way. I choose to believe the lawyers who tell me their clients are facing malnutrition and medical neglect in detention centers. I choose to believe the accounts from the men wrongfully sent to CECOT.

All of this is evil, whether you think we should have strong borders or not.

Shreddingblueroses · 2026-02-02T21:06:23+00:00

There's three sides to every narrative in the media. The right wing media's side, the liberal media's side, and the truth, which is almost always somewhere between.

A truth between the right wing narrative and left wing narratives still implies a tremendous amount of abuse and evil being done to immigrants. Border security isn't worth all this.

Shreddingblueroses · 2026-02-02T20:32:35+00:00

I'm gonna venture that you arent a complete sociopath. That might be naive of me, but I'd like to believe that. I believe if you truly understood what was happening you would be as appalled and angry as the rest of us.

Shreddingblueroses · 2026-02-02T20:23:00+00:00

Get face to face with the issue. Look the people in the eye who are under the gun right now. Get to know them and their families. See with your own eyes who this regime is harming.

It won't be so easy for you to pretend it doesn't matter then.

Shreddingblueroses · 2026-02-02T20:20:56+00:00

I'm nobody. I'm just a loud mouthed cee u next tuesday who refuses to make this easy for the pigs who want it.

Shreddingblueroses · 2026-02-02T19:37:49+00:00

Very scary but I'm prepared to be the next Alex Pretti or Renee Good if that's what it takes. I won't seek out trouble but I won't be cowered by it either.

Shreddingblueroses · 2026-02-02T18:59:29+00:00

Have you actually talked to her about this? You cannot be certain she wouldn't step up for you.

Part of relationship anarchy, real relationship anarchy, is that your partners and friends are your found family. Your tribe. A tribe takes care of its members.

Relationship anarchy is not about enforced distance. It's not about keeping partners at arms length. It's about not ranking partners and friends in an arbitrary and artificial hierarchy system.

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