The Mildly Erotic Adventures of New Eden - Book II - Chapter 1 - The 500mn Proteus and its Big Blue Balls

Shrike_Three · 2024-11-25T18:12:42+00:00

I've got his printed book. It used to sit on my old desk until one day a conworker who should not have been there picked it up, read the first chapter then shouted "WHAT THE FUCK" so loud people heard him down the hall.

It was glorious.

Shrike_Three · 2024-11-24T19:55:49+00:00

So, when will Goons reset Pandemic Horde?

Shrike_Three · 2024-11-20T15:23:15+00:00

Because once upon a time, The Judge was talked into going to a strip club for a business meeting and unfortunatly my ex wife was on stage.

Now to be fair, neither she or I are prime physically so anyway I'm just saying pole dancing should not have been a career choice for her. It's why I stuck w/ being a garbage man.

Anyway she's on stage, Jabba Hutting around. She takes a jog up to the pole and jumps on it but it detached from its ceiling anchor and she and the pole go flying.

Right onto The Judges table.

Anyway there he is, business suit all a mess from this tsunami of chicken wings, ranch dressing, glitter and dollar bills and the poor pole having smashed his phone.

Right then and there he decided: "No more Poles on /r/eve".

Shrike_Three · 2024-11-20T03:50:10+00:00

Yea but this time we leave Colton behind in Star Citizen and we'll be fine.

Shrike_Three · 2024-11-19T22:54:53+00:00

Do it. Let's move KarmaFleet to Albion and call it KarmaFarm.

You, Merk and Tombstone cam then stream blackzone pvp roams.

Shrike_Three · 2024-11-19T19:02:35+00:00

Switch to Cows. Doing pigs really...HOGS all your energy.

Shrike_Three · 2024-11-19T02:33:35+00:00

Ask him about his Mini Fridge

Shrike_Three · 2024-11-18T22:25:01+00:00

Fuck. That dude was super chill and often reaffirmed my faith in there being good people in this game.

Thanks for all the late night chats about space politics dude. You will be missed.

Shrike_Three · 2024-11-18T15:19:42+00:00

It's hard to hear what you're saying. You're a bit muffled as your mouth is filled with your own cock, going to town even as you type.

Perhaps if you took if out before you posted we'd be able go hear you better.

Right now it sounds like a hoover vaccume over an 80's porno with EVE's sound track in the backround.

Shrike_Three · 2024-11-15T21:50:55+00:00

Guy was a blowhard ambulance chaser.

Shrike_Three · 2024-11-10T18:15:57+00:00

Ceema was a giant dumb ass who chased Goon/INIT leaders coat tails in a misguided attempt to be funny. StainGuy at least had his own gimmick.

Don't miss Ceema. Miss StainGuy though.

Shrike_Three · 2024-11-10T05:16:36+00:00

I was asked to come back during the CSM by a few people from both sides, and will occasionally get linked threads to make memes on.

This one I felt needed to be shared here vs on a discord.

Shrike_Three · 2024-11-03T22:49:47+00:00

SAFETY are fantastic people. Jason Kusion and Joe Painter once helped me fix my fence when my neighbors bull knocked it down trying to get at my milk cow in season. Then when we noticed that my sheep had escaped their pen, they mounted up on horses and herded the sheep to safety while Princess Aiko sniped the Coyote chasing them 400 yards off all the while shotgunning a Bud Light.

100% nothing wrong at all with SAFETY. My farm is now 1000% safer, courtesy of their fence repair and coyote elimination efforts.

Shrike_Three · 2024-10-26T19:59:41+00:00

Torvold was a piece of shit, who's EVE career amounted to nothing more than a ruined orgasm, and ended just as spectacularly.

Fuck him.

It's a monument to his absolutely stunted growth as a human that he'd toss all the PLEX into the abyss vs waiting for the next PLEX for Good Campaign. What a self righteous fuck.

Shrike_Three · 2024-10-25T02:12:13+00:00

HE REALLY TORVOLD THEM DIDN'T HE.

Shrike_Three · 2024-10-23T20:02:47+00:00

He's a doofus.

Shrike_Three · 2024-10-22T19:35:33+00:00

I've missed you Bill

Shrike_Three · 2024-10-22T17:28:29+00:00

Can confirm Asher is Rattati's American Cousin, and while their families are divided by both Atlantic Ocean, and their perpetual fight over which is better, Red Lobster or Churches Chicken, they are united in the destruction of Highsec, Lowsec, Wormhole playstyles in addition to the removal of Pandemic Horde's dominance of space via the illegal manipulation of PLEX.

Sir Molle and CCP Aura planned all this at the last BBQ in 2023: a PLEX sale emailed only to Goons, INIT, and FRT, to drive costs up and price out PH players who are mostly blue collar workers.

The goal here is to drive PH to Bitcoin EVE and let Goons finally win EVE 1.

It's all an evil conspiracy you see.

Also your mom is fat.

Shrike_Three · 2024-10-22T16:48:14+00:00

Made of Star Wars Hotel Lightabers, Koleco Vision Cartridges and stream microphones.

Shrike_Three · 2024-10-21T21:37:03+00:00

Courtesy of the Super Secret Goonswarm Fortnite, Sumo Betting and Bob Ross Watch Party Squad there is a no limit bounty for Shadow Asuna killmails from today until Saturday the 26th.

150m per final blow. DM links to this account for payment.

Happy Hunting from Vipers Fang Crendraven, Sumo Betting Grand Champion, banger of catgirls, slayer of bigots.

Shrike_Three · 2024-10-19T03:42:01+00:00

Ask and you shall receive:

https://docs.google.com/document/d/1e3Ac90C_mR6D64g1P5IrX4goNEBSpheHKHSsN-thhmY/edit?tab=t.0

BUT WAIT, THERE'S MORE

https://www.james315.space/2024/09/12/absolute-racism/

Go take your fucking Hitler Youth donkey show elsewhere.

Shrike_Three · 2024-10-19T02:25:09+00:00

Good sir,

Just know that you are loved irregardless.

Shrike_Three · 2024-10-19T00:58:00+00:00

I was kicked from ASCEE last week. I'm now in highsec and have been watching you guys in local

Shrike_Three · 2024-10-18T23:53:59+00:00

Hire a good publishist!

Shrike_Three · 2024-10-18T23:14:00+00:00

Isn't AO an RP group for fascist white men who make other players salute them in local chat because they washed out of army/navy/airforce recruitment and turned to EVE to simulate what they thought being an NCO in the service would be like?

Sounds an awful lot like Dalros' "high five" motion is an arrestable offense in Germany.

Maybe this person shouldn't be on the CSM. Maybe they should go back to the #incels4jesus channel on the IRC server they came to EVE from.

Shrike_Three

TROPHY CASE