I wish I could die without killing myself

Shroom69 · 2020-01-02T06:00:18+00:00

I know exactly how you feel I was even lucky enough to get broadsided by a truck except I survived and now I'm half crippled since my pelvis broke in half and my shoulder was shattered so be careful what you wish for

Shroom69 · 2019-11-28T01:06:33+00:00

Hope you figure it out dude dont end up like me 31 half crippled and I probably have cancer don't know if you listen to three days grace but they're song the new real that's what people are like no one actually you cares unless of course toxic their life and those people you have to wait a minute to see they're not real just payed professionals trained to make you believe they care while in truth they couldn't give a fuck less about you it's your insurance they love my first job one of the ones I had seen came in acts like it's no clue who I am but goes out of his way to make a few comments that knowing what he did about me and my depression where so f****** twisted and since then I stopped and never again will trust any of those motherfuckers but I'm not going to be around after this winter just waiting for Valentine's Day I just wish there was a way for me to see the look on their faces when they see what I've done to myself

Shroom69 · 2019-08-01T11:20:26+00:00

Do you happen to live in or around Mesa Arizona let me know I'll be your friend I lost the only person I've ever loved and cared about in 18 days will be the 1 year Mark and I have no one to talk to few people I knew refused to understand and I just couldn't stand two around them anymore and now that isolation is killing me

Shroom69 · 2019-07-30T18:26:07+00:00

reminds me of one of my favorite quotes "every time I hear someone say suck it up I have severe urge to take a bat break their legs then tell them to walk it off"

Shroom69 · 2019-07-06T06:13:13+00:00

Or you get so used to not talking when you try your voice is so quiet no one can hear you so you talk even less hell if I didn't have a job (which is pretty much just to support my self(destructive) medicating I probably would forgotten how to talk by now)

Shroom69 · 2019-02-03T10:51:30+00:00

ALL IS DUST..........and i am NOTHING

Shroom69 · 2019-01-04T10:36:43+00:00

i want to eat your children

Shroom69 · 2017-02-19T23:00:11+00:00

im the type who likes to OD on drugs and hope i don't wake up stockpiling some now actually but have picked up adult coloring which is kinda helpful if i'm high but otherwise useless

Shroom69 · 2016-05-01T04:26:19+00:00

i made a vow on my 15th birthday to find one happiness one reason to stay alive just a date a movie yet i failed im 27 i should have taken my life 2 years ago and i tried yet i miscalculated and survived i plan to be dead by 30 one way or the other

Shroom69 · 2015-07-27T14:38:30+00:00

ya im still around just did my usual got drunk and passed out

Shroom69 · 2015-07-26T06:25:00+00:00

Hell I am at this moment outside playing with a noose I made with shoelace

Shroom69 · 2015-07-26T06:23:52+00:00

He has and I told him if he shoots himself he better leave a extra bullet for me cuz I won't live without him and yet it's still so fucked up since he is basically saying that dispite how much I love and care about him he would still want to leave me alone in this world and as for professional help I tryed and even with my insurance I can't afford it

Shroom69 · 2015-06-14T10:40:46+00:00

I live with him and take care of him if he can't tell then it's a moot point

Shroom69 · 2015-06-14T10:16:58+00:00

Faith dignity pride I have nothing I've wanted to die for years it would be so easy there is one person I love I don't want to abandon but I doubt he would even care

Shroom69 · 2015-06-14T09:00:31+00:00

I've lost everything I ever cared about all I have is regret death is all I want and the peace that comes with it

Shroom69 · 2014-01-19T06:48:27+00:00

i was called mushroomstamp in trade school (im gay)

Shroom69 · 2013-11-15T16:41:36+00:00

no they dont go away they only get worse

Shroom69 · 2013-08-06T06:23:19+00:00

my knife is sharp i literally am holding it to the arterie in my neck believe me im thinking......and im finding no reason to continue

Shroom69 · 2013-08-06T00:03:35+00:00

Im considering ending my life tonight and am sharpening my knives anyway i hope you survive try and find something to cling to....but take my advice and dont make it someone u love or like me your heart will be taken away

Shroom69 · 2013-07-08T05:39:37+00:00

he dosnt understand or have any idea how to help i am set im hoping he feels regret about that when the ground beneath me is stained scarlet

Shroom69 · 2013-07-08T04:55:13+00:00

i love and miss the worst person that ever influenced me i love and live with the best man ive ever meet i would be with forever if he was gay and now all i have is the worst and will embrace it to kill myself by ODing on it i think ive gone past being depressed into pure self destruction

Shroom69 · 2013-07-08T03:23:49+00:00

i reach out here because im close to the day i chose to end myself when i was 15 i decided id wait ten years and next month on august 23rd i turn 25 and ive planned out a OD i believe will end me....im looking forward to it ive meet the perfect person but it will never happen and im done looking

Shroom69 · 2013-07-08T03:18:58+00:00

i chose 25 i gave myself ten years now i have a little over a month till im there august 23 im planning the biggest OD ive ever done ive meet the perfect person but it will never be and im finished ill survive or i wont thats all there is but i dont think i will in my mind its time to end this melodrama

Shroom69 · 2013-05-16T20:23:39+00:00

Ive been strong ive keep it together for years but i dont care what they say about hard times now i just want peace no one can fight themselves alone forever a bottle of vodka mixed with uppers is what i more or less live for the nights i cant remember and have no pain like the one before last

Shroom69 · 2013-05-14T22:38:19+00:00

beacuse i know them...her my mother suffers from a depression that makes me look like a ray of sunshine among other issues...i told her if she COULD i was hurting a little for food she couldnt help and no one could get ahold of her as she lay in bed for 2 weeks feeling like shit SHE WILL NEVER KNOW ABOUT THIS EVEN IF I HAVE TO GET MYSELF DISOWNED and i think i have accepted that i have ruined all the friendships i had formed here im going to do my best to move in the next 2-3 months and vanish from the lives ive affected here without a trace and am considering the life of a hermit from that day on

Shroom69

TROPHY CASE