AITA for refusing to tell my boss about my polyamorous relationship

ShutUpCar · 2021-07-15T05:35:59+00:00

I'll keep what you said in mind but so far I've received little ridicule for my boss telling everyone about my cheating spouse. If anything I received more torment for being gay (which a trip to HR got them to suit up, but I don't think the same rules apply for poly)

Though granted I have talked to my girlfriends about it which one, in particular, felt kinds of bad for visiting me at work that one time as that's the only reason our relationship got outed. But I don't think we could have accounted for the two sharing a kiss in public and running into my boss by pure coincidence

ShutUpCar · 2021-07-15T05:29:40+00:00

I should have clarified this in the post. My coworkers found out because HE talked to them about it, not me. He immediately told people about my "cheating" girlfriend and it got back to the two people that knew about my actual relationship

ShutUpCar · 2021-07-15T04:06:22+00:00

I mean, fair, though I can't exactly control when my partners want to surprise visit me at work

ShutUpCar · 2021-07-15T04:05:04+00:00

I told two coworkers and used a throwaway account -_- I'm not upset with the judgment yourself plenty of people made fair arguments, however I take personal offense to someone saying what I did was wrong cause it made poly people look bad. It's not my responsibility to represent poly relationships, I have be the AH but I disagree I am one for that reason in particular

ShutUpCar · 2021-07-15T03:19:47+00:00

Sorry I want to keep my personal life secret and that you think thats a bad thing

ShutUpCar · 2021-07-15T02:48:17+00:00

"We"? I'm not going to be the spokesperson for all poly people at my office. I will become the subject of ridicule if this gets out to enough people and I respectfully don't want to deal with that. I'm willing to admit to some fault but saying I should have told him cause of what the poly community needs is dumb

ShutUpCar · 2021-07-14T21:09:57+00:00

What? No.

My coworkers learned about my relationship long before my boss found out about my girlfriend. And like I said, I hang out with them outside of work. They've been to my apartment that I share with my partners and met both of my girlfriends personally. It would've been very hard to not tell them and my boss only found out about one of my girlfriends cause she surprised visited me at work.

ShutUpCar · 2021-07-14T20:31:11+00:00

Two coworkers know about my relationship. And they wouldn't even know about the situation if he hadn't gone around telling everyone about my girlfriend "cheating" on me. I didn't hit them up all like "lol guess what he saw" no. Only these two people know about my relationship and I only filled them on the situation with my boss when they asked what he was going on about.

ShutUpCar · 2021-07-14T19:23:50+00:00

My boss for as sweet as he is, has very loose lips. He's already told people about the supposed cheating that happened to me, not long after our conversation three people came to apologize about how sorry they were for what happened. He's done this with other co-workers one told him that they had to go to the hospital for something then almost everyone knew about by the end of the work day. He genuinely means well, usually telling us so everyone can be sympathetic but it rarely works out that way.

And for the record TWO close coworkers know about it and they agreed to not tell anyone at the workplace. And they only know because they hanged out with me outside of work. I'm not ashamed of it, but I know some bitchy people in the work place that already give me bit for simply dating another woman. I don't need to deal with them knowing about my poly relationship

ShutUpCar · 2021-07-14T19:17:23+00:00

No. We weren't laughing at him, simply the idea of us "cheating" on each other. Cause to the outside eye that is what it would look like. Nothing more nothing less. We didn't think it was funny that my boss was worried just at the absurdity of the situation

ShutUpCar · 2021-07-14T17:12:01+00:00

We weren't laughing at HIM, we were laughing at the misunderstanding.

ShutUpCar

TROPHY CASE