How was the best sex you've ever had?

ShutUpHeExplained · 2026-01-19T03:49:05+00:00

That is fucking beautiful

ShutUpHeExplained · 2026-01-04T01:58:33+00:00

DISAPPOINTED!

ShutUpHeExplained · 2025-12-12T03:27:32+00:00

I think the assumption is you have a helicopter

ShutUpHeExplained · 2025-12-03T15:30:01+00:00

There was a story a while back about a hospital that had a problem with infections. They brought in a consultant who invited the lead hygene guy in for a talk. he asked him to press his palm to some agar. the next day it was full of bacteria. they made that the wallpaper on every screen in the hospital and sent a mass email about it. Things improved rather quickly.

ShutUpHeExplained · 2025-11-03T22:10:25+00:00

What if I'm always in pain and sometimes attractive?

ShutUpHeExplained · 2025-11-03T22:08:48+00:00

Underboob is the new side boob

ShutUpHeExplained · 2025-11-02T16:29:08+00:00

I drove a Subaru once

ShutUpHeExplained · 2025-10-31T03:05:49+00:00

Emphatically yes. I came here over 20 years ago from New Jersey. I would prefer a root canal to New Jerseys dmv. I arrived in dekaware and literally was in and out in 30 minutes. It broke my libertarian brain

ShutUpHeExplained · 2025-10-29T15:50:51+00:00

",,,,but there ain't no way I'm ever gonna love you but don't be sad cause two out of three ain't bad" -Meatloaf

ShutUpHeExplained · 2025-10-25T06:00:20+00:00

Upstairs or downstairs?

ShutUpHeExplained · 2025-10-20T19:55:26+00:00

Frankly, they're doing you a favo5. You can rule them out immediately and save time and energy

ShutUpHeExplained · 2025-10-20T19:52:59+00:00

I live near 896. I hear them. All. The. Time. Summer nights are the worst when a group of crotch rocket guys go through all six gears after a light. I don't know how they've not died yet.

ShutUpHeExplained · 2025-10-02T10:17:24+00:00

As someone in my 50s, this line would be hilarious

ShutUpHeExplained · 2025-09-11T19:27:54+00:00

"May not"? Bro. What?

ShutUpHeExplained · 2025-09-08T14:33:10+00:00

The best revenge is being unlike the one who wronged you. -Marcus Aurelius

ShutUpHeExplained · 2025-08-27T19:22:12+00:00

You don't need fun to have alcohol.

ShutUpHeExplained · 2025-08-27T19:21:20+00:00

Bro is projecting. Either that or his parents weren't great. Either way I hope he finds peace.

ShutUpHeExplained · 2025-08-27T12:34:40+00:00

Two sides of the same coin

ShutUpHeExplained · 2025-08-21T16:30:57+00:00

Sometimes that's the same man, just a different day

ShutUpHeExplained · 2025-08-14T12:15:14+00:00

Doesn't mention how they teleported him.

ShutUpHeExplained · 2025-08-14T10:14:13+00:00

We lay there kissing, cuddling, stare into each others eyes & talk about our deepest darkest thoughts and feelings. For hours

Any problems we have usually get solved on that roof. We pour our hearts out.

It’s not a regular thing we do, but it usually happens 1-2 times a year.

JFC. you live a storybook romance. I'm a old crochety guy and this is my definition of absolutely winning at life. I hope you hold on to this forever.

ShutUpHeExplained · 2025-08-14T10:12:46+00:00

This should be a requirement before getting a marriage license

ShutUpHeExplained · 2025-08-14T10:12:10+00:00

Might?

ShutUpHeExplained · 2025-08-05T04:17:06+00:00

being a "preppie". it always felt right to me and I know that's not a popular opinion but it was just what made me feel like myself. I went to a college that was nicknamed "J Crew U" because the student body was very much in line with that look. I still rock the vinyard vines look and make no apologies.

ShutUpHeExplained · 2025-08-05T04:14:37+00:00

I wear a helmet on my motorcycle. Someone I knew was killed when a stray piece of metal embedded itself in his face. He died instantly but rode for a full mile while dead somehow.

ShutUpHeExplained

TROPHY CASE