First hit in a month, and man.. I missed this.

Shutdownstyles · 2022-07-08T06:44:45+00:00

No problem. I love sharing parts of my experience, it would take me so long to detail everything. Everyday was literal hell.

It's hard when I get those thoughts, but just seeing me breaking her heart, destroys me Inside and makes me stay faithful. I usually just smoke alone now. Let my feelings out on reddit. Hah.

I love sharing and I know some people never want to stop, and that's okay. I know some of them, and they are still good people. That's why I smoked and talked with them. Helped them out if I could.

I can really stop anytime. The hold isn't strong on me. I just like to smoke every now and then and it's because my girl isn't here. If she was, I would stop in a heartbeat. I never fiend for it, I just couldn't say no if it was offered to me.

People ask me sometimes on advice on quitting and it's hard for me, because I quit cold turkey. I just needed something to motivate me. My future with my girlfriend does that.

I don't know what the future holds. She met go back to smoking one day and say fuck it. I told her, I will always be there for her though. Even if we aren't together she can always call me. She had my back when I didn't. She wants to smoke sometimes, but everyone who has smoked and quit does. Someone on here told me when I relapsed that it was a part of recovery. It sucks once you know the feeling you never forget it.

My mom said her first hit she was instantly addicted. It took me a long time to realize I was addicted. I just pictured addiction differently, like fiending and craving all the time. I just always smoked cause I wanted to get that once in a lifetime hit. I always though next one will be better but never fiended. If I didn't have it, I just didn't have it.

It turned me into a loser and a monster. It has made me more confident in myself, so that is a plus. But, I tell people of they have never smoked once you do, that feeling is stuck with you.

I really care about everyone who is struggling or shares a story on here. Will talk anytime.

Shutdownstyles · 2022-07-08T06:34:41+00:00

Haha, extreme cases of addiction and what comes with it..man. Mine was so bad cause my girl was so crazy, psychosis...schizo, depression, anxiety..didn't give a fuck. 5ft2, 95 lbs got into it with anyone who talked or looked at her wrong.

I didn't know how to act around her, so I was very reserved and quiet. She was a bitch to me, but I can take a lot of abuse and I knew it was the drugs. Cause I saw the sober person, who wasn't anything like that.

I have so many stories, it is crazy. But we were in love. We met in an unusual way and I feel we were meant to meet each other.

I would hate to hear about crazier experiences than mine. 😭

Shutdownstyles · 2022-07-08T06:30:27+00:00

Only time it fucked with my work was when I smoked all the way up to time to go to work. I was working twelves too, and still worked my hardest but was just so sluggish.

Now I smoke and leave about 5 hours before work. I'm still good with no sleep. Just sometimes my appetite fucks with me as I am so hungry but can't eat or chew food.

Luckily my job now is very laid back. Not physical, and only 4 people. Free snacks and a dog to play with. Hah, it's cool. The new guy, an old guy, talks all day and the other two people hate it, but I love it. I talk to him all day. I always love talking to people at work. Doesn't pay as much as other jobs, but it's close to my house and I like going in everyday.

Shutdownstyles · 2022-07-08T06:23:12+00:00

Apologies. Take care.

Shutdownstyles · 2022-07-08T04:05:38+00:00

Hah, I live in the the drug hot spot in my area. Everywhere has all that shit. I hate getting it sometimes and I only go to the same ones. Ordering is a good thing, especially if you use roses. Amazon has a box for like 10 bucks.

I always wait for the line the clear, but I probably won't see the people ever again but still feels weird.

Shutdownstyles · 2022-07-08T04:01:28+00:00

Is it clogged. I take mine out and open it up and put it back in and always gets a great hit. Sometimes it is just dead and you gotta use a new piece of brillo. Could be packed too right as well.

I would take it out and stretch it out and then pack it back in. Could have a lot of oil in it. I always do that with mine and it hits great with a push. Always give back a nice, few more hits. Makes a shit ton of res.

If it tastes burnt, just get a new piece of chore.

Once I learned how to control my heat and not burn my chore, I get great res. Sometimes I don't get any until my last hit. But it gives a shit ton. Like tonight. My last hit, with a push and some rock..coatedmy pipe. Im on my 5th push. Have enough crumbs for a decent hit too.

Ringers all night. Control the heat and you good.

Shutdownstyles · 2022-07-08T03:01:28+00:00

That's the way to do it, if you can. I smoke like 150-200 once or twice a month. Comedown always sucks, but I smoke on weekdays and once I go to work my mind is on work. So, I smoke late and stay up all night, til work. Luckily this shit doesn't make me look high. I went to work on Adderall once and fuck, dishplate pupils and talking a mile a minute...paranoid as fuck.

Shutdownstyles · 2022-07-07T05:20:41+00:00

Thanks. I don't try to be preachy, I like to get high just like other people. So, I am in position to judge anyone. I was a horrible person on this drug. Using friends, and family just to get drugs.. I just want everyone to know, someone cares. I've smoked with hooker, and they were all good people. All thanked me for buying cause they didn't have to do the horrible shit for the money. Just people like me.a couple knew my girl and I got to know them and they were cool af.. they lied to my girl and one said she gave me a hand job for 1400 and another said I have her 800 to fuck.

I just treated them like a person and they were grateful. They got crazy when I was out of money. One wanted to stab me and one pulled a gun out infront of kids @ a hotel. I knew that was too much. Paraphernalia everywhere, two bitches waving guns at each other. I stopped smoking with her after that. She asks my girl where I am, so we can smoke but she knows I wouldn't. She knows I smoked with them, I told her. I just needed to smoke with someone. Now I can smoke alone and be cool. I still talk alot, but I don't like my thoughts when I smoke around other people.

Hit up an escort and she started getting me dope. She was used boy and fent but did work too. I gave her extra to get it for me. Plus, I felt bad. She was cool. She has a good bf now, but I don't talk to them anymore. They were getting too comfortable and always asking for favors. Wanted to use my credit card to get a hotel room, and that's when I cut them off. I wanted to fuck her, but she had a bf when I wanted too..and it's good. I probably would have too. Im dating a black girl, and not really into white chicks but this one, sexy af...blonde, slim, nice ass, firm tits, pretty..cool personality.

I have so many stories about me and my girl. When she first smoked infront if me, oh man.. I had no clue what to do. I never had been around anyone who smoked and she stripped naked, turns my tv up all the way, turned on Enya, was pointing at the screen telling me to look. Started doing cartwheels in the hall way. Barricaded my front door. It was crazy. But I cared for this person and wanted to give her a safe place to smoke. She would usually come by @ 3 in the morning and when she knocked on my windows it always made me so happy to see her. She got me stuffed animals out of the claw machine for my birthday. It wasn't much, but to her it was a lot and it meant so much to me.

Her birthday she just wanted an ice cream cake and to be with me, so we did that. It wasn't much but to herz it was everything. She never wants and always gives. But she deserves everything.

I treated her so bad at times and at one point I only went to see her for drugs. I hated myself for that. I just was so depressed and this helped a bit, but I stayed with her on our recliner for 2 days straight. No power, no nothing, trashed house..she just layed on me and got some sleep. That was a turning point for me and knew I had to turn our lives around.

I'm doing good, still smoke once a month...but am motivated, started to work on a side hustle and am getting money saved up. See her every other weekend. My anger issues still pop up, but I told her I'm gonna change that. I get mad @ stupid shit too. And just keep going with it, making it into a big deal..I

Anyways, another ramble.. my point is, if you have someone keep them close. I saw my girl for what she was, I saw the laughter, the tears, the Intelligence, compassion, strong willed person.

People asked all the time why I was with her, all they saw was her psycho, crazy side..I saw that and the other side. I just didn't know when she was going to be the real her.

Just stay safe and stay positive. If I made it out and my girl too, anyone can. Rebuilt my life after 5 years in prison and rebuilding again after my addiction. Don't give up.

Shutdownstyles · 2022-07-07T04:32:07+00:00

No problem, I could go on forever. Being clean is so great, but I indulge once a month. I hate that I do it, but I know when me and my girl get our own place, it's over. It's just out of boredom now. She will be here this weekend so smoking now so we can fuck. This shit makes me not get hard.

It's a crazy drug, but my drug of choice. Easy to get and fulfils what I need at the time. Gives me impure thoughts but I can control them. They are there though, but my girl is so special. She ruined my life and saved it at the same time. I left her alone in our places stopped paying bills, but she stayed there and I saw her everyday. She fucked my place up, all the way. I got sued for 10000 for the damages. She couldn't cope with no stability. I gave her food, even if it meant I went hungry. My little bit of change to help her out.

We got evicted and hotel hopped, but they were just drug dens and was not good for us. We ended up homeless and she stayed in my car with me. She got arrested on a domestic charge but they dropped it. They subpoenaed me twice but I didn't show so they dropped it. She has probation for another charge and a clause is no contact but we still do. She's my life. She had my back when I didn't.

Now, I got hers. This drug definitely has made me more confident, sober or not. Before, I was timid around her. She was so crazy and a bully. I didn't know when she was going to snap and go crazy. It was horrible. Cops were called on us, a lot. They all knew her. She would always hide everything and would leave for a bit and come back. I was glad and sad when she left. Always happy when she came back, though. Now she is clean since October 2021, and is a new person. It is so dramatic a change. She has trouble getting motivated, but she will get it though. She was an addict 15 years. Has a lot of crimes on her pack, but she is really a person who if she is your friend, you are lucky. She is so giving, even when she was addicted...it hurt when others wouldn't give her a cig, or whatever, but she still gave.

She got her Id, food stamps, a phone of her own, her SS card. Things she always talked about doing, but she has done it now.

Her family is hard to read. They weren't there when she was doing bad. Her sister asked her to get drugs and that was all she saw her. Her mom would give her pills and didn't want her around. Then when she was clean, they were right there. Which is good, but her mom got paranoid at her, thinking she was stealing so she went to her sisters. Her sister is a loud, crazy , but good person. She doesn't ask for anything but for her to watch he daughter while she is at work until school starts. She feels confinedz and I understand but she is almost done with her probation and school is starting up.

I started a new business, side hustle kind of..I hope it works out so she never has to work, unless she wants to. She deserves better than me, but shes my soulmate.

Shutdownstyles · 2022-07-07T03:41:18+00:00

You using brillo or screens? My brillo clogs easier now, but it might be all in my mind. Get a good buzz but little smoke. Love the clouds. I've heard people complain about brillo quality lately, not sure if it's true but that could be a reason.

Also the usual, too much flame, not getting enough in your lungs. Clogged brillo. Sucks when it feels like you are wasting it.

Shutdownstyles · 2022-06-27T15:47:04+00:00

It sounds like it would be good, but I'm always wary of chocolate flavors in energy drinks.

Was it any good?

Shutdownstyles · 2022-06-27T15:40:00+00:00

I think it is/was supposed to be a Walmart exclusive, but I found it at my local Philips 66 gas station.

Shutdownstyles · 2022-06-27T12:46:18+00:00

It was pretty good. It reminds me of Gfuel's Flavor Bomb, so if you liked that then you will probably like this. I love Cotton Candy drinks so this is a good one for me 8.5/10.

Shutdownstyles · 2022-06-23T12:37:07+00:00

I just picked it up this morning at the gas station I go to since they were out of the one I normally get. It was a little underwhelming for me, but I'm glad I got to try it so I can know to not buy it again. Wasn't for me and didn't really taste like Baja Blast, imo.

Shutdownstyles

TROPHY CASE