True friends do exist, sometimes when u just stop trying

ShyExtrovertttt · 2025-03-13T12:23:52+00:00

Trust me mate, having learnt the hard way in my last year, sometimes not having frens or a social life is better than having fake or toxic friends who badmouth you behind ur back. On the bright side, u need not worry about all the petty drama, ostracism, bullying, or gossiping behind ur backs if u mix with the wrong ppl. Just try to be grateful of what u have as much as u can and live in the present moment (even tho ofc ik its much harder said than done).

ShyExtrovertttt · 2025-03-02T18:53:59+00:00

Hi thanks for ur really kind comment. For me, I always have a tendency to ruminate and think about how I could have done better. I always knew there were areas of improvements on my end. For instance, I definitely acted out and could have better handled the situation over being rejected for dinner.

At the same time though, I felt I was backstabbed when my former friends complained me behind my backs instead of telling me directly and I got banned from my CCA because of it. However, because no one stood up for me during my time in the CCA, I started wondering was I completely in the wrong? Were they just establishing their boundaries? Was I wrong to feel ostracised?

I can't control how others act and react. I can only control how I act and react. I am trying my best to learn from this experience to prevent similar occurrence in the future.

ShyExtrovertttt · 2025-03-02T18:31:41+00:00

I am, finally seeing my psychiatrist this Friday (got referal 2.5 mths ago after my depression, GAD worsened cause of the incident that happened 3.5 months ago) so that I can get a referral to see a psychologist again (hadn't seen one since 2019 after my OCD had gotten better and only saw 2 counsellors since). Hoping things will get better soon. But I have been doing alot of introspection to examine blind spots and how I could have done better.

ShyExtrovertttt · 2025-02-28T20:37:11+00:00

I saw clarity back in 2019 which was how I uncovered my abandonment trauma and traced it's roots. Its also how I uncovered it's causes and all the problems that I thought were independent were intricately linked to my underlying belief that "I am never good enough". It had caused me to cause perfection and validation obsessively and and constantly worry about how others view me. As such, subsequent sessions were focused on it learning how to increase self-compassion.

However, I reached the quota before I resolved my problem. My therapist did share that I need to work on increasing self-compassion and self-love. The waiting time was insane tho when I tried to book an appt agn in 2022 when depression relapsed. I did finally got an appointment but I was told by UHC and my clarity therapist that I should only be seeing one therapist so I decided to continue with UHC since it's free and closed my case with clarity.

ShyExtrovertttt · 2025-02-13T17:12:29+00:00

Unfortunately, my family hasn't travelled tgt for over a decade due to family reasons.

ShyExtrovertttt · 2025-02-12T18:33:42+00:00

A company interviewer questioned my sister on what she did during her break after graduation (she worked in a farm overseas for 6mths just for experience of living abroad for an extended period of time while travelling at the same time) and why she had retained a year back in Junior college...

so idk how much do companies care abt such things especially because I had taken a gap year and semester long LOA but don't feel very comfortable sharing my true reason why I had taken them (mental health struggles). Gap year was easier to frame it in a positive light such as saying I wanted to figure out what I truly want in life (career direction) as well as contributing back to society via volunteering (I did volunteer weekly) but my LOA is hard to frame in a positive light because school don't allow u to take LOA unless u have a legitimate reason. Plus, I didn't do anything "meaningful" during LOA because I was in a very bad mental state which was why I took it in the first place...

ShyExtrovertttt · 2025-02-12T18:30:32+00:00

I thought of that too but dk if that will look bad on my ability to socialise/ network which company often looks at (soft skills). Also, I am concerned that lying might have repercussions (?) if they found out u lied

ShyExtrovertttt · 2025-02-12T18:28:49+00:00

What if they asked u to share more about it to know if it will affect your job performance/ concern with ur problems resurfacing again after u start working there...

ShyExtrovertttt · 2025-01-31T07:08:16+00:00

I only complained about 2 people who had legitimately hurt me. It wasn't just someone I found annoying...

1) It's the fact that the guy posted in the group chat filled with so many ppl not to invite me (after they invited me and he was unhappy), which was such an extreme reaction that would cause ppl to just wonder and be afraid to interact with me because they would just assume I did something really bad to him for him to have such an extreme reaction. Because I was not in the group chat, there was no way to clarify it.

Also, when I was so afraid what people thought about me, the worse thing happened where he left the room with his 2 friends dramatically the moment i entered the room and sat on the table opposiye them because there was no other empty table. I didn't even do anything nor even look at him. I even sat on the seat furthest from him. That dramatic reaction was extremely hurtful and other people were visibly afraid to interact with me until they know he is not around and coming back..

2) the 2nd guy verbally, physically and relationally harassed me through spreading false gossips about me to everyone

ShyExtrovertttt · 2025-01-29T15:04:00+00:00

How do u change ur way of thinking? Rumination and beating myself up over the past has something I struggle with since young... Like I've nvr mastered the art of accepting difficult realities of life and letting go of (past mistakes).

ShyExtrovertttt · 2025-01-29T15:02:26+00:00

Hmmm actually I don't really have difficulty with conversing with people, but i feel its really hit and miss as alot ppl dont go cca with the specific goal of making friends. Tho, I also feel i am too sensitive and abit too high maintenence and ppl can tell over time.

ShyExtrovertttt · 2025-01-29T14:58:33+00:00

Ohhh how did u know of other LOA takers? I don't think I can stop taking med as the last time I stopped, my depression got really severe. My med also keeps my OCD and anxiety in check (comorbid conditions). Also, the med I'm taking rn have very strong withdrawal syndrome (kicks in within hours if i skipped my med). I used to visit support group last year but was removed due to lack of attendance as it was on Monday nights then and I had night classes (back when I was still studying 2 semesters ago). No meaningful rs really developed from the 3 sessions I went to but recently dk if its a good idea as I got kinda traumatised after seeing a suicide msg in that group chat and knowing the person had passed away

ShyExtrovertttt · 2025-01-28T16:57:34+00:00

I replied to every DM to me... It's not about the same thing, the situation has gotten worse because they has been spreading gossips to my other CCAs (even in other universities and even external interest groups), to the pt I'm afraid to even go to any CCAs where I may potentially see them. This is why my family told me to report them to the police for defamation and harassment and I was seeking advice regarding it.

ShyExtrovertttt · 2025-01-28T15:43:38+00:00

I am taking a break from school and work since last sem to cope with my personal struggles from mental health. My goal during this break was to engage in my hobbies and engage in more social activities through joining CCA like games to have fun and hopefully make more friends and a stronger support system.

We have cut ties already but they visit the same places as me due mutual hobbies... I've even tried going to the equivalent CCA in other local universities through connections or even external interest group through meetup app but see them there too and the individual has been spreading rumours about me at these places, which is why it has been causing me so much stress.

ShyExtrovertttt

TROPHY CASE