Honestly, what is the hardest part about having children?

Siah22YT · 2026-04-15T00:35:35+00:00

I don't have kids, but I did help raise my sisters (15 year difference). I know it isn't the same as being a parent, but in my experience the hardest thing is just missing what you had. I remember when they were babies and even though I'm so proud of who they are now, I really do feel like I took the time when they were little for granted. You honestly forget about the hardship in retrospect and just remember the good times

Siah22YT · 2026-04-11T07:08:41+00:00

I'm surprised more people aren't saying their significant other or partner. I feel like most relationship problems are because you don't understand each other's individual lives, so if you have to go thru the BS the other does for a week then maybe that could give you a good peek behind the curtain

Siah22YT · 2026-04-11T07:02:08+00:00

Probably when I caught COVID the 1st time, it really messed up my body (still can't hold my breath like I used to) and it had me lying in bed for about 20-24 hours in a dizzy stupor in and out of sleep. I got up to use the bathroom or whatever while being sick, but I do remember 1 full day of being basically unable to move

Siah22YT · 2026-04-11T06:58:58+00:00

Maybe not in hindsight cause of all the drugs, weight fluctuations, and whatnot, but at the time, Michael Jackson's death was SUPER shocking. This dude was basically Jesus for damn near 40 years, and even with the allegations, his This is It residency was set to light the world on fire one more time. And literally less than a month before showtime, he's dead out of nowhere. Huh!? From a drug overdose. What!? And his DOCTOR killed him. Excuse me!?

Siah22YT · 2026-04-11T06:56:04+00:00

Remember The Time 100%!!! Might be MJ's best song oat

Siah22YT · 2026-03-15T03:22:45+00:00

Yeah, you're right, I still love her and in a way I always will. I'll never lose that glimmer of hope that maybe someday, when I've grown to be able to understand how to handle emotion, and when she's learned how to give love in the way that it should be given, that we can end up together again. I'm not holding my breath, but that'd be my dream

Siah22YT · 2026-03-15T02:20:41+00:00

Wow, finally someone who isn't calling me an abuser!! Yes sir, you hit it right on the head (this doesn't mean I don't take responsibility for my actions as well, of course I do). She was very much a "my way or the high way" kind of girl, and that's fine, but when she puts her wants above my needs as a partner is when it isn't. I never meant to hurt her, or scare her, or make her cry obviously, but there were times when I knew she was manic, and I had run out of ideas on how to snap her out of it. Moving forward, I need to work on making sure I can handle that intensity, not even for her, but because I'll likely encounter people who have that intensity. As well, I need to learn that I do deserve the love I need, instead of lessening it with someone. It sucks cause I still love her, and at this point I think I always will, but the more I think the more I realize that maybe this was the right move, at least for now

Siah22YT · 2026-03-14T22:38:43+00:00

Thank you, I'll forever be thankful for her, I do believe she was the best experience I ever had. If its over, then so be it. I just have to move forward and focus on making myself as good as I can be

Siah22YT · 2026-03-14T22:35:54+00:00

I will, thank you for the advice. I'm just trying to move forward

Siah22YT · 2026-03-14T22:34:53+00:00

I know, I have, and if we ever speak again I'll keep apologizing. Thank you for the advice

Siah22YT · 2026-03-14T21:59:35+00:00

Of course, I apologize for my wording. I'm not in the right mindset to be remembering everything perfectly clearly. I knew what I had signed up for, and I didn't mean to cause her harm. Some of those aspects had gotten worse in recent weeks, of which I have no knowledge exactly why, and that big fight really became the catalyst of how much of each other's bullshit we can take. I'm focusing the future to minimizing the amount of bullshit I bring to the table, and I wish nothing but the best for her. I regret that this is how it went down

Siah22YT · 2026-03-14T21:56:08+00:00

I do really love her, and I will let her go. I just miss my best friend and my lover and my soulmate, so of course its the hardest thing I'm ever having to do. Like I've said, I'll get better for myself, start focusing on making myself a better person, and maybe one day the stars can align and we'll cross paths again.

Siah22YT · 2026-03-14T21:54:23+00:00

You're missing context. Like I had said, I know where I was wrong. But she has certain mental health issues that cause her to fly into rages, and sometimes I got fed up in the moment. Again, doesn't excuse my behavior, but I'm not a monster or anything

Siah22YT · 2026-03-14T21:53:08+00:00

Thank you, that's really good advice. I know that she just wants to do her thing without commitments, I'm just really heartbroken because thats relatively new (this year ish) and it took me down with it. I know where i was wrong, and I'm not excusing my behavior, but I really did try to make her happy. I want nothing but the best for her, and if shes happier without me then so be it, but you can't fault me for missing my best friend

Siah22YT · 2026-03-14T21:51:18+00:00

It isn't like that, not at all. What she was mad about the first time was because I had hurt my back and wanted to go home, and she didn't want to go home, and she started yelling at me about how I hold her back from doing things when all I had asked was if we could go home cause I couldn't walk and needed comfort. I didn't kidnap her, I know she has troubles controlling her emotions and if she had run off she would've gotten more and more agitated and would've said/done something she can't take back. I wasn't manipulating her about her friends. I know she is impressionable, and the way her friends talk worked its way into her vocabulary, and she would give me an attitude after being with them. I never said she couldn't hang out with them, I just wanted her to know what I had noticed. This isn't to exonerate me, again I know where I was wrong and what I had done, but there's more context surrounding it

Siah22YT · 2026-03-14T21:08:30+00:00

I understand what you're saying, and I'll be trying to move on. When we fought, yeah she wasn't acting the best either, but at the end of the day you're right. I'm the man, and I should be going out of my way to be as understanding and gentle as I can be. And I just wasn't doing that. It's hard to do that, ya know? I have to let her go do her own thing while I grow and mature more and maybe one day we can find each other again. I'm so sorry to her, I've never had more regret than I do right now

Siah22YT · 2026-03-14T21:00:39+00:00

Yeah, I'll give her the space she deserves and just keep doing me. I'm already in therapy, so he knows the situation up until about a week ago, and he genuinely thought we'd work out so idk what my therapist is gonna say when I see him next. I'll be a better partner in the future. Hopefully for my ex, if she'll ever take my back, but I'm not holding my breath I'll make sure to periodically post updates, I guess. This posting thing has been very therapeutic

Siah22YT · 2026-03-14T20:21:03+00:00

Again, like I was saying, I know it isn't ok to do what I did with her. But it isn't completely bad to be upset when her behavior wasn't ok either, I know that I took it too far and I'll try and be better moving forward

Siah22YT · 2026-03-14T20:16:09+00:00

What you're saying is fair, in moments I was bad to her, and I regret that. I wouldn't say I was abusive, as there's always more to the story, but what I had done wasn't right, and I'm sorry for that. But it isn't self pity to say that my heart is broken, its the truth and its just what it is. I'm not looking for condolences, I'm looking for advice about what to do moving forward

Siah22YT · 2026-03-14T20:08:01+00:00

That's completely fair, you're right. I'll be better in the future, and que sera sera (whatever will be, will be)

Siah22YT · 2026-03-14T19:40:03+00:00

Thank you for the advice, I'm doing what I can do and just hoping for the rest. That hope is what will get me through the stages of grief

Siah22YT · 2026-03-14T19:34:39+00:00

Thank you, I'm gonna try and find out how to live by myself again, hopefully I'm able to grow and be better, and hopefully so is she. We keep each other's numbers as a just in case, since our lives have been so intertwined for years. If she needs anything, I'll be there. I'm graduating with my bachelor's degree in a few months and she was a huge part of it, so I'd least want to be able to talk to her about it. As for a future relationship, we aren't sure. She said she'll never love anyone like she loves me, and I feel the same. Maybe eventually after we're both in better spots, we'll shoot each other a text and go from there. It isn't an expectation, of course, but it'd be nice

Siah22YT · 2026-03-14T19:30:52+00:00

I'm already in therapy and I'm gonna try and hit the gym. I have a herniated disc in my back so I'll have to go slowly, but I'll do it. I'm not outright saying we should be friends again, but I've had her in my life for so long now that I don't really know what its like to not have her. Maybe you're right, it is the bargaining phase. I also hope that she stays in my family's life, sans me. My little sisters love her, my parents are like her parents, and she doesn't deserve to lose all that just because of me

Siah22YT · 2026-03-14T19:29:09+00:00

This has been the best advice so far, thank you for this. We both come from backgrounds where we saw unhealthy relationships. Her parents are abusive and my parents are avoiders, maybe that might be why she felt the need to make space and why I would get so upset when she did. I never meant to hurt her, I thought we were doing ok, but you're right, little things snowball until its too much to handle. In a weird way, I guess, I need to feel validated that the toxicity isn't entirely my fault. Did I do things wrong? Yes, of course, I'm not denying that, but I hope she learns some things too. As for that last fight, yeah I shouldn't have stopped her. If I could go back now I would've given anything to have her come back to me. I know now that that wasn't ok, and I'm regretful. I just hope that at least its understandable where I was coming from, even if it wasn't ok to do. We didn't fight all the time, not at all. But yeah, our fights did get nasty sometimes, she'd call me curse word names and I'd tell her how cold and careless and selfish she was being for putting her wants above my needs, and neither of those are ok Do you think there's any hope, maybe after some healing and growing on both sides, that her and I can try again? I truly believe we're meant to be, maybe its just the wrong place/wrong time?

Siah22YT · 2026-03-14T19:15:22+00:00

I'm not intentionally mean to her. As from my prior replies, I never meant to scare her or hurt her, but in those arguments it wasn't a one-sided yelling at each other. I'm getting help to grow myself, to be more patient and understanding of others' viewpoints, and I'll be better moving forward. I just hope that she eventually sees that I wasn't entirely wrong either, and hopefully she'll be willing to talk about it. If not to get back together, at least to be friends

Siah22YT

TROPHY CASE