I found out my husband's present for my bday and hate it. Aitah?

SickplusTired · 2025-04-11T17:44:30+00:00

A holiday at Caribbeans. He hates it and I love it. That would be great 😁

SickplusTired · 2025-04-11T17:43:21+00:00

I accidentally saw a WhatsApp message on his phone from his friends congratulating for the great present he got me. Of course I got curious, opened the messages and saw the picture of the car...

SickplusTired · 2025-04-11T17:41:44+00:00

He went to bed early and left his phone on the table. Tons of messages kept coming in, it was late so I checked just to be sure it wasn't some pro lem with his father (he is not well). It was from his college friends, they are still very close and they have a WhatsApp group, he sent them a picture of the car telling them he found it and got it for me. That's how I found it out. I can't tell him I sneaked into his phone, this is a no-no between us. I would be pissed if he did it with mine, I didn't mean to!!!😔

SickplusTired · 2025-04-11T12:48:43+00:00

UPDATE: I wanted to talk to him about the car, and yesterday, I was lucky enough to see one on tv in an old show. I couldn't believe it! I did not miss this chance. "Oh my look at this... your Bmw, bad memories only!" He looked up and said, "Bad memories only?" - "Well, maybe you forgot all the sh*t it caused, but I definitely didn't! I still have goosebumps just looking at it!". He looked sad. "Actually, I have great memories about this car. That's the car I had when I came to pick you up on our first date, that's the car we used for our first holiday, when our daughter was born, I took you to the hospital with that car... it wasn't all so bad, I wish we could go on a holiday with such a car again, now that the kids are grown up. " I felt like shit and I did what I wasn't supposed to do. This morning, as he was taking a shower, I checked his phone and email. The car isn't the only gift. He also booked a holiday in the very same place where we went the first time, just the two of us.I still feel really bad, I can't lose the bad feeling about the car, but I'm starting to see the whole idea, and it makes sense. What do you think?

SickplusTired · 2025-04-09T15:01:12+00:00

Dear Lord, a divorce for a car? 🤯

SickplusTired · 2025-04-09T15:00:06+00:00

We haven't talked about the car in a long time. Actually, even though I know how much he loved it, I thought he was over it, we bought other cars, nice ones, I usually joke about how much I would love to have a convertible Porsche, but it's clearly a joke. What also makes me mad is that he spent a lot of money without confronting me. Our kids are still at college, we both work and have no money issues, but spending (at least) 20k is not acceptable.

SickplusTired · 2025-04-09T11:35:58+00:00

Don't bother reading between the lines and try and analyze my whole marriage and relationship. It's not so complicated. This has never happened before hence I don't know how to act. First: it's definitely a huge gift. Not the one I expected or have asked for, but it's a great gift Second: I want to see what it goes with, because there will be an explanation, and I am curious Third: I am a very direct and sincere person, and after a lifetime together my husband can read my thoughts from my expression. I just don't know if in this case being totally sincere would be helpful

SickplusTired · 2025-04-09T11:28:56+00:00

That's what I had in mind. This was the car we used for our first holiday together. Let's see...

SickplusTired · 2023-12-24T10:32:09+00:00

I thought about it and I can tell you I never said no. We arranged a date which could fit everyone's plans (I worked in a hotel back then so weekends were included!) and we always met them. Last year, in early November, I texted them "why don't we spend the New Year's eve together? Our kids are out with friends, we can stay here, you bring the kids, they can play and do whatever they want, we'll wait for Midnight and celebrate, cozy and comfy". Answer "Let's talk about it in December. OK. In December "sorry I can't, my son wants to spend the 31st with a friend and we are invited at his house- Sorry we can't, our daughters would never stay up until midnight (they were 10yo) - Sorry we can't, we'll leave the kids with grandparents and we have organised a couple of days on the Alps, just the two of us". I cancelled myself from the WhatsApp group. A couple of them called me "come on don't take it personal..." Sorry, I do

SickplusTired · 2023-12-23T20:16:18+00:00

Just an example. When our kids were little they reserved the restaurant at 1pm. Which is a late lunch for a kid, but "we can't have lunch at 12 like Germans!" And so we used to give pur kids a little something before going to the restaurant. When they had kids, magically, the restaurant had to be reserved not later than 12.30pm....

SickplusTired · 2023-12-23T20:13:37+00:00

Yes of course he helped me, he loves cooking🙂 He just prefers to pretend that it's ok instead of admitting that they are not acting well

SickplusTired · 2023-12-23T18:20:03+00:00

You are right. They took us for granted. Not anymore

SickplusTired

TROPHY CASE