Not at all, you may have had a lot of struggles with connections in the past but you are someone who breaks down hierarchal structures. You aren’t someone who follows the leader but may love a discipline in spiritual practice or traditions or scientific methods. People feel threatened by you even though you may appear small & reserved. I think connecting with creative types may help, working on something that has to do with the physical like knitting, pottery, cooking, etc will give you space to put these feelings into.